Meet Us in St. Louis

A Room With a View

Just checked into our hotel in St. Louis. We are on the 17th floor (top floor in the hotel.) This is our view...

Rants and Raves After a Crappy Day

So I do NOT like one specific girl. Hate is a strong word, but it applies in this situation. I want to smother her in her sleep. Defecate on her corpse. Then light the bitch on fire. Other than that, I have no problem with her...

I never understood how people hate their jobs...until today. I have come to the understanding that if you do NOT enjoy being around your co-workers, you will NOT enjoy your job no matter how much you actually enjoy the tasks and responsibilities...

I should have no restrictions on my activities outside of work unless they are illegal or they reflect poorly on my employer. I work and get paid for 40 hours a week. For the other 128 hours, stay OUT of my personal life...

The Brewers released their 2010 schedule today. Opening day is actually at Miller Park this year. Is is WRONG to already be excited? I might have to come down with the flu so I can go to it...

I told a friend that I wanted to spend my 30th BIRTHDAY wherever the Brewers were playing. Looks like I'm headed to Arizona...

Aaron Rodgers is straight MONEY! How can the Favre-lovers diss Aaron now? Can't stay healthy? He played most of last year with a bum shoulder. Can't bring the team back in the 4th quarter? See the Bear game Sunday night. I cannot wait for whatever some Favre obsessed jackass comes up with next...

It was nice to see A.J. Hawk get some much needed LOVE on the Journal Sentinel Packer blog. I love A.J. because he plays the game the way Nitchske did. I hate A.J. because his wife is smoking hot...

Ted Thompson is looking pretty SMART now, isn't he haters? If TT is an idiot, I want to be an idiot...

Ruvell Martin signed with the Rams today. He was the one guy I was disappointed the Packers were not able to find a place for. He was a GREAT interview and seemed like a decent human being...

Having weekend plans sucks. I keep looking forward to MADISON this weekend and it is making my work day seem longer than normal. Next week will be even worse. I'll be looking forward to my Father-Son trip to St. Louis...

How can people HATE on Obama for the job he's doing? He has not even been in office for a year yet, Republicans are dragging their feet on some important legislation, and Obama inherited the "American Mess" from his *cough* brilliant *cough* predecessor...

That's it for today's crappy day RANTS. Time to watch "RocknRolla" and see if Guy Ritchie recovered his movie making magic.

The 2009 Season Kicks Off With a Bang

The Packers got off to a good start against the Bears. It was nerve racking, but eventually Aaron Rodgers and the new 3-4 defense pulled it out.

Favorite Moment: (Tie) Johnny Jolly's interception in the red zone was the greatest interception by a defensive lineman I have ever seen. Al Harris picking off Jay Cutler to essentially end the game gave me flashbacks of the Matt Hasselbeck "We want the ball and we're going to score" play-off game.

Least Favorite Moment: The ticky tack penalty for illegal contact against Al Harris. First, it should not have been called. Second, it extended the drive and could have cost the Packers the game. Finally, if Al Harris is going to be called for minor contact every game, then it is going to be a long year.

MVP: Jay Cutler - Only the savior could be the MVP. His four interceptions kept the Packers ahead the whole game.

Hello, New Friend

If you read my previous note entitled "Good Bye, Old Friend," regarding the death of my previous grill, you will be happy to know that a new grill is officially in the stable. And just in time for Packer season!

My dad picked up a Coleman Road Grill LXE from Menard's today just 2 hours before we left for Lambeau. We put it together in the drive way and I all could think about was the smell of brats grilling in the parking lot.

The grill is amazing. Travels easily since it folds up into a low profile and has wheels. It's quick to set up. And it cooks fast. Our rib eye steaks were finished in no time. And tasted delicious!

After the Packers dramatic Sunday night victory over the Bears, the grill starts off 1-0.

Time to make some memories!

The Day the Cubicles Stood Still...

I had one of those days today. The soul crushing, smack you in the face, kick your ass while you're down kind of day. And there was no reason for it. Turns out every place and I mean EVERY place, is just like high school.

I won't go into specifics because there are spies among the Facebook faithful. I'm not usually a conspiracist, but there are too many coincidences to be random. So here goes...

It started with someone who was a certain way and did things. Others helped and eventually the knife had to be removed from their backs. Other people did not like other things said. Some did not comprehend things. Things were said. Things were done. Parties were partaken in. Rumors swirled. Truths swirled. People broke trusts. Friends were made. Friends were lost. God times were had. Bad times consumed the lot. Things were moved up the chain. Basically, things were done by people at times and places. Everything culminated in the group being broken up. I sense there is a Yoko at work. When the dust cleared, myself and one other person had a new cubicle.

The bitch of it all is that I tried to be friends with everyone. I was inclusive. I was compassionate. I was the defender of wrongs. I was trusting. And that was my downfall. Like many in history, I was befallen by one close to me. Or so I thought was close.

Nothing against my new cubicle buddies, but they're just not my friends...yet. I hate change. Absolutely despise it. I'll miss the loud mouth cunt. The guy who incessantly talks about online poker. I'll even miss the emotional one.

I try to stay positive and have a smile on my face. But it's hard when I realize I'm a nobody. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. "Keep your head up, Mark." I heard this many times today. How about you go fuck yourself and let me sulk for awhile. Is that okay with you, your highness? I suppose in the grand scheme of everything, it could be worse. At my last job, there was a worker who could only be classified as an self-absorbed, alcoholic loner with an unjustified ego that rivaled only the likes of Hitler. At least I'm not a piece of shit that people look upon with contempt and unbridled hate.

So I have that going for me. Which is nice.

But I feel alone on my island surrounded by a sea of estrogen.

And that makes me blue. But at the same time, red. Red burning with a furious rage. A rage that can only lead to 2 things - an outburst of Titanic proportions or an updated resume that will help me move onto the next chapter that is Mark.

To those I'll miss, and you know who you are, I say, "Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget."

The BEST Man Speech

This is the speech I gave as the best man at Jeff's wedding. I wrote it while I lived in Madison, but completely forgot about it until today. I had to use my parents' computer to print it before the ceremony and never deleted it. I have not read it since the wedding day.

If you know me, you know I'm not one to brag. So it is uncomfortable for me to pat myself on my back. But this is a good best man speech. Possibly the best speech this side of Luke Wilson's in Old School. There's a reason I was chosen as the best man. I'm great. Hands down. No doubt. Best best man ever. The absolute bestest man. (Even if I did throw off the size ratio as the wedding party stood at the altar. Really? What the fuck? I guess I'm just lucky my parents raised a halfway decent kid who knows when to hold back even when it is justified. Without tact and a sense of humor, quips are just mean.)

So here's the speech...(I typed it up exactly how it was written so I left in the "cues" I gave myself during the speech. And yes, everyone laughed during the pauses. I know my audience. And I'm a flat out funny son-of-a-bitch.)

Everyone – if I could get your attention. I'd just like to say a few words. My name is Mark, and I have the immense fortune of being both a great friend of the groom, as well as his best man. I apologize for being a little nervous up here. I’ve not had nearly enough to drink tonight, but I’ll change that later.

Since the happy couple was a little concerned about what I might say during my toast, they set me up with some guidelines. I could not cuss nor could I tell any embarrassing stories that may or may not included screen doors, summer sausage, my parent’s couch, or a little guy named Jack Daniel’s. Basically, they stripped me of all my ideas so I decided to search the internet for some thoughts and how-to’s.

Now, in my extensive research to find out how to deliver a great best man speech, I learned that I am expected to sing the praises of the groom and tell you what a wonderful guy Jeff is. Unfortunately, I'm a bad singer and a lousy liar. [PAUSE] Coincidentally, not as bad a singer as Jeff displayed Saturday night.

So here goes. Jeff, Allye is a wonderful, beautiful, kind and good-hearted person who deserves a trusting, compassionate and loving husband. Thank goodness you snapped her up before she found one. [PAUSE] All kidding aside - I'm honored to be here today.

The truest meaning of marriage is the magic of being needed by just one person. The two of you have come together to share your lives and realize your dreams. Today you are husband and wife. This is day one of a great adventure and I'm honored to be able to share it with you. Remember that great opportunities to help each other seldom come... but small ones will surround you everyday.

I love you both and wish you many years of happy marriage. [RAISE GLASS] Now, if you'll all join me in raising a glass to our happy couple, Jeff and Allison. [WAIT FOR IT] May the joys you share today, be the beginning of a lifetime of great happiness. Congratulations! [HUG IT OUT, BITCH]

My Father, My Friend, My Inspiration, My Hero

My father retired today after almost 39 years at the Sheboygan County Highway Department. I decided to write a note to honor what he has meant to me.

He is a great hero in my life, my greatest strength. I cannot even scratch the surface of all the events that reflect his impact upon my life. Even in the midst of my successes and my shortcomings, (Yeah, yeah, I know there have been many) he has always accepted me as I am. I am in awe of his strength, his integrity, and the painful endurance he deals with daily. I only ask that he stays safe and (relatively) pain-free for many, many years. I hope that I can somehow, someway come close to having his strength, his boldness and his wisdom to endure all. Two moments, in particular, stand out amongst his many influences on my life.

The first moment is when my father, mother, sister and me walked out of the gymnasium after I won my last match at the State wrestling meet. I cannot remember which trip to Wisconsin Rapids it was, but that victory earned my spot at Nationals. As we were approaching the car, he bummed a cigarette from someone. It seemed as though his nerves had gotten the better of him. It was the first and only time I saw him smoke a cigarette. (Unless I count the few times he morphs into a cigar aficionado and smokes those horrendous air-tipped Muriels.) Why is this moment important to me? It proved that he had a personal stake in my well-being. At that moment, he was so invested in the outcome that it overtook him with nervousness and stress. Even with the tension created by my matches, driving all over the country to compete was never boring!

The second moment is when I realized I had the same sense of humor. That moment is as clear today as it was then. Jeff had stored his Mustang in the barn for winter. Once the weather broke, he decided to pick up the car. The three of us were attempting to jump start his engine. Jeff popped the hood. As I searched in vain for the latch under the hood, I jokingly asked, "Am I retarded or?" and without missing a beat or letting me finish, my father quickly chimed in with a simple, yet powerful "Yes." Jeff still laughs at me for that. But in that one moment, I realized how I learned to be a quick-witted, mocking, sarcastic asshole – from him. Thanks, Pops. That quick-wit will continue to serve me well.

Although I seem to be a spark plug for disgust and disappointment and a black hole for his hard earned dollars, he has not complained all that much.

Thanks for everything. I may not say it often, but I love him with all my heart. He is the greatest dad in the whole world. I always see a friend in him and I consider myself to be the luckiest son in the world. I was blessed with the greatest, most giving, most FORGIVING parents any child could ask for. Thanks for always being at the practices, at the games, in the good times, and in the bad times.

Now I only hope he kicks back, puts his feet up and enjoys his retirement.

I love you, Pops! (By the way, could I borrow 20 bucks?)

2009 Green Bay Packer Predictions, Promises and Possibilities

Predictions:

Chicago Bears - Win
Cincinnati Bengals - Win
@ St. Louis Rams - Win
@ Minnesota Vikings - Loss
Open Date
Detroit Lions - Win
@ Cleveland Browns - Win
Minnesota Vikings - Win
@ Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Win
Dallas Cowboys - Win
San Francisco 49ers - Win
@ Detroit Lions - Win
Baltimore Ravens - Loss
@ Chicago Bears - Loss
@ Pittsburgh Steelers - Loss
Seattle Seahawks - Win
@ Arizona Cardinals - Win

I predict the Packers will finish the season at 12-4. With that record, the Packers will win the division and host a play-off game. The Packers could easily slip up at Arizona or home to the Cowboys or Bears. However, they could surprise and win in Minnesota or Chicago or home on Monday Night Football against the Ravens.

I would settle for a record that wins the division and would be ecstatic with a record of 12-4 or better. Then again, I would be okay with any record that includes two beat downs of the Vikings by a combined score of 100-0.


Possibilities:

• If Aaron Rodgers stays healthy, he will win the MVP award.
• Greg Jennings will do the first Lambeau Leap this year.
• Calvin Johnson will catch four touchdown passes against the Pack.
• Charles Woodson will lead the NFL in interceptions.
• Cutting Anthony Smith will haunt the Packers after Atari Bigby goes down with an injury.
• Aaron Rodgers will lead the Packers to two 4th quarter comeback victories.
• Last week's Sports Illustrated cover featuring Aaron Rodgers will not be the last Packer cover this season.
• Ryan Grant will rush for a minimum of 1,500 yards and 10 touchdowns.
• The Packers' defense will finish the year ranked in the top five in total defense.
• Mike McCarthy will win the Coach of the Year award.
• Mike McCarthy will be holding up the Lombardi trophy at season's end.

Promises:

• If Aaron Rodgers stays healthy, he will be in the top three in MVP voting at the end of the year.
• I will be in the stands at Lambeau for at least the Bears, Vikings and Ravens games. I also will be in St. Louis for the Rams game.
• Desmond Bishop will end the season as a starter.
• I will turn my back when Brett Favre runs onto Lambeau Field. I will NOT boo him because of what he accomplished in the Green and Gold, but I cannot see him emerge from the tunnel wearing purple.
• Brett Favre will be booed - long and loud.
• Brett Favre will not care.
• Jermichael Finley will lead the team in touchdown passes.
• A.J. Hawk will be unfairly labeled a bust. I love Hawk because he defines what a football player should be. I hate Hawk because his wife is smokin' hot.
• The Packers will host at least 1 play-off game.
• The Packers' success will prove Ted Thompson is able to build a team.

I'm sure many people will disagree with my prognostications, but who gives a fuck. If Aaron Rodgers goes down with an injury, the Packers' season is over and a top five draft pick awaits the new general manager in April. If everything goes according to plan, another Return to Titletown parade awaits fans in February.

GO PACK GO!

DJL Clan Avatars

Even our Avatars could kill you!

With the Parents at the Park...Again

Deadly Justice League Clan

My friends and I decided to form a 360 clan. Murda and I were members of Deadly Justice, but since nobody in that clan really plays Battlefield: Bad Company, we decided to form a splinter cell. We called it the Deadly Justice League. Our slogan is "Live Fast. Die Heroically." It's for people we know in real life. DJL is a fun group to talk shit with and kill a bunch of assholes. Just some good, clean, American fun.

Gotcha Bitch!

Here is LINK the to our Facebook group.