Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Customers Are "Special"


An actual call at work today...
"Thank you for calling ___. My name is Mark. How may I help you?"
"Yes. Thanks, Mike. I'm calling to get some account information."
"I can definitely help you with that. May I have your account number please?"
"My account number or card number?"
Seriously? First of all, my name is Mark. I speak extremely clearly. I've been called Clark already. Okay, maybe. It rhymes. But I've also been called Eric, Bob and other names. PLEASE LISTEN! My willingness to help you drops rapidly if you do not listen. Plus, if you do not listen to my name, what else will you not listen to?

Secondly, if I ask for your account number, I'm asking for the account number. The phrase "card number" never left my mouth. If I needed the card number, I would have said, "May I have your card number please?" It would be like going to McDonald's and asking for a Big Mac and the cashier asking you "Big Mac or Fillet 'o Fish?" If I wanted a fucking Fillet 'o Fish, I would have fucking asked for it.

Morons. The world is full of them. Unfortunately, most of them have phones and I am on the other line.

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