Saturday, July 14, 2012

Monday, October 10, 2011

Green Bay Packers Season Ticket Waiting List - 2011 Edition



As some of you might know and most of you don't care, I am a proud member of the Green Bay Packers season ticket waiting list. Each year, the Green Bay Packers send out a postcard with my waiting list number. I received mine today and this year I am number 3908. Last year I was 3995 so I moved up 87 spots. My parents put me on the list during training camp in 1990. I've been on the list for 20 years already and if the current pace holds up, I will get my own tickets in 45 years! I'll be 76 years old! I should preface this by saying that my parents already have season tickets in section 130 and, fingers crossed, when they decide to pass them down, they will pass them to me. Plus, with the upcoming addition to Lambeau Field, I should jump up at least 1,650 spots.

Here is how my number has decreased over the years:
2011 - 3908
2010 - 3995
2009 - 4131
2008 - 4291
2007 - 4387
2006 - 4453
2003 - 4640
2002 - 5053
2001 - 6405
(Unknown Year) - 8925

Click HERE for last year's version.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Payback!



After getting into a fight with last year with Chris Volstad, this year Nyjer Morgan took him deep. His look says it all. Fuck you, Chris Volstad.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

The Humiliation Game Starring Woiverine 4



I'm not sure why Woiverine 4 (not a typo) got so mad at me for raping him. It's not like I went 6-0 against him. Oh, wait. I did. Wow. He must suck at Black Ops. Oh, wait. He does. He even sent me a nice voice message after the game. (You can view the video of the match on YouTube.)

"Hey dude. I'm glad you, ah, got your rank by cheating. Cuz you're a little, fucking cheating ass faggot. And bandwagon jumping. Hi, I'm a Packers fan because they won the Super Bowl. You probably take it in the ass from your fucking big brother, you little fuck."

So I replied...

"Wow. Big words. Although I can't expect intelligence from a Michigan fan. And I'm not sure why you thought I was cheating. It's called talent. You should try it sometime."

And since he had not yet used the other ten words in his vocabulary, he came back with this gem...

"Yeah, you're about as good as those faggot ass Wisconsin Badgers. When's the last time they won something? Oh, that's right. They're not winners, they're losers just like you. So enjoy stroking your Dad's dick before you go to bed tonight so you can go to sleep, you little faggot."

Since I was starting to feel bad about his condition, I sincerely replied with...

"You have a weird fascination with fags and men sucking dicks. You should get that looked it. It could fester. What? Oh, no. Sorry about that."

He also sent a voice message about me saving up soda can money to afford a mic. I have one. I was using it to party chat with Murda while we made fun of him.

By the way, I think we can go to the scoreboard. He went 7-11 in the round and I went 19-12.

And since I was bored, I posted our stats below.

I have a better win to loss ratio. My best win streak is higher. (Lunchbox37 +1)

I have a better kill to death ratio. My best kill streak is higher. (Lunchbox37 +2)

In almost the same amount of time played, I have about 15,000 more kills. (Lunchbox37 +3)

I am more accurate. (Lunchbox37 +4)

I was better in my last 10 games than he was. (Lunchbox37 +5)

So in general, I'm Winning because I'm the Warlock with Tiger Blood!

Monday, February 7, 2011

Hey Jackass...

...ha-ha. Go fuck yourself.

What the Packers' Super Bowl XLV Victory Meant to Me



As I sit alone in my bedroom watching the same SportsCenter for the 2nd time since the Packers won Super Bowl XLV, I want to share my thoughts on the victory and what it means to me.

I should probably start with the second most painful memory I have of the Packers. 4th and 26. Enough said really. I was set-up to have my dreams come true. As a season ticket holder, my dad won the lottery for Super Bowl tickets. If the Packers went so would I. And the Packers were playing well. And then my heart was ripped out over the course of a weekend. In the span of 3 days, the Packers lost a heartbreaker and I was fired from Home Depot for among other things, playing a teeny tiny practical joke on a one-time great friend. For years I wanted to blame Nick Barnett and Darren Sharper for the blown coverage, but really it was Brett Favre throwing the prayer duck in overtime that killed us. After the game, I got drunk. Super drunk. Like the kind you warn your kids about. And then I drove home. I’m not proud. I was young, stupid and pissed. And did I mention I was drunk. 4th and 26 – the game that took the shine off of my Brett Favre idolatry.

That’s enough for that heartbreak. Let’s move on to the draft. I vividly remember the 2005 NFL Draft. I was watching it in my parents’ living room. I sat in agony watching Aaron Rodgers slip and slip and slip. And then the Packers were on the clock. When they announced that the Packers stopped the slide and selected Aaron Rodgers, I was ecstatic. I actually ran outside to tell my dad the good news. I wish I could honestly say I knew what the future held, but I didn’t. I was just happy that a quarterback some “experts” had going number one overall fell into the Packers laps.

(Blog intermission…I hate Trent Dilfer. He better call Ray Lewis every week and thank him for winning him a Super Bowl ring. Anyone that says that to be a great quarterback, one needs to win a Super Bowl ring should look no further than Dilfer. He proves that even the sun occasionally shines on a dog’s ass.)

Okay, let’s fast forward to the 2007 NFC Championship game against the Giants. The absolute worst I ever felt as a Packer fan. I must admit how utterly crushed I was after the game. I sat in the stands at Lambeau for awhile after the game ended. I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t. I was too stunned to move. I wanted to punch a douchebag Giants fan taunting the Packers, but I couldn’t. I was too stunned to move. It didn’t feel real. It destroyed me. I became a social pariah. I didn't watch a Super Bowl again until XLV. The reason it hurt so bad was because I bought the hype. I really thought the Lombardi trophy was coming home.

And then the drama took over. Brett Favre retired at a teary press conference. I cried with him. That was years and years of memories riding off into the sunset. Then Brett Favre returned. But Ted Thompson and Mike McCarthy wouldn’t have any of that. They were prepared to move forward without Brett and handed the keys to the franchise to Aaron Rodgers. I took a lot of crap for defending Ted Thompson. People were upset that their childhood idol was cast aside. But I’m a Packer fan first. I cheer for the uniform. And Brett Favre put himself above the Packers. I’m not going to deny that I enjoyed the 2010 Viking season. Although, to see a shadow of the man I cheered for many years was sad. Then again, I saw “more” of Brett Favre in 2010 than I needed to.

(Blog intermission #2…To all you Ted Thompson haters, fuck you. You know who you are. Of course, you’re back on the bandwagon. But I still know who you are and like an elephant, I will never forget. Like a boyfriend to a cheating girlfriend, I know what you did. You should be ashamed of yourself. No one is bigger than the franchise. Not even one of the greatest ever to put on the green and gold. It’s okay to question the direction of the franchise. It’s not okay, and downright disrespectful, to blindly hate someone for getting rid of an idol. “Knock, knock, Ted Thompson haters.” “Who’s there?” “A return to Titletown celebration and you’re not invited.”)

That faith in Aaron Rodgers paid off in 2010. For six straight games, it was sudden death for the Green Bay Packers. After the Packers knocked the Bears out of the play-offs to clinch a Super Bowl berth …wait…I need to say that again since it’s so satisfying. After the Packers knocked the Bears out of the play-offs to clinch a Super Bowl berth, I tried to temper my excitement. But it was hard because Aaron Rodgers, Charles Woodson and Mike McCarthy led the Packers back to the Super Bowl. I tried not to live too vicariously through the Packers success. I couldn't take another soul crushing loss. Once again my dreams were racing with thoughts of a Super Bowl victory, a Titletown celebration and year long bragging rights. This time? The Packers didn’t disappoint. I have to admit that for a mere moment I had doubts when I saw Charles Woodson in sweats and his arm in a sling. I thought “Here we go again.” But the defense made just enough stops and the offense scored just enough points to allow Coach McCarthy to be doused in Gatorade and the players to be covered in confetti.

It was a special moment to see everyone’s hard work pay off.

At the Super Bowl party I was at, the victory was a bit subdued. We were all glad the Packers held on. I noticed that on the Super Bowl trophy stand that Ted Thompson was not showing much emotion. One of my friends said that was because Ted was already plotting his next move. He’s probably right too. Today was the end to 2010, but tomorrow is the beginning of 2011. It’s back to the grind for the GM that brought the Lombardi Trophy back home. The significance of the trophy coming home had not sunken in yet. It still hasn’t. Once everything clicks, the feeling will be glorious. As I headed home from the party, I drove in my truck stunned. Stunned at the victory. Stunned at the brilliance of Lil Wayne’s “Green & Yellow.” Stunned that Lil Wayne was actually a Packer fan.

On the way home, I had to stop by my sister and brother -in-law’s house. Ed, my brother-in-law, has been by my side for most of the greatest Packer moments I’ve experienced. There have been many high-fives exchanged in section 130, row 10 of Lambeau Field. As he opened the door, we high-fived. No words were spoken. No words needed to be spoken. I drove up, got out, high-fived and drove home. It was a special moment.

As I got home to wind down, I walked into my parents’ living room and my dad was watching the postgame shows. I gave him the Aaron Rodgers’ title belt celebration. We both laughed. We knew the victory was special. And nothing beats a quick laugh to add a touch of levity to moment we’ll both cherish for the rest of our lives.

And that brings me back to the here and now – sitting here watching ESPN at 3 am trying to keep the moment alive for as long as I can. I wish my life contained more of these moments. And it will. I just need to be patient. But today, I can cherish the fact that we (yes, WE) are Super Bowl Champions.

And I love the Green Bay Packers. Through the wins, the losses, the blow-outs and the nail-biters, I love the Green Bay Packers. I have always loved them and I will always love them. They are my team. They are our team. Thank you, Green Bay Packers, for the memories, the smiles, the tears, the screams, the excitement and the championships.

I love the Green Bay Packers.

We are champions again.

And, of course…the Bears still suck.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Create Your Own Band Album Cover

Here's a fun project to create a random album cover.

Instructions: 1 - Go to www.wikipedia.com and hit random. The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band. 2 - Go to www.quotationspage.com and hit random. The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album. 3 - Go to www.Flickr.com and click on “explore the last seven days." The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover. 4 - Use Photoshop or similar program to put it all together.


This one is from a month ago.


This one is from today.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

A Packer/Bear Joke for Championship Week


A Chicago family of Bear fans head out one Saturday to do their Christmas shopping. While in the sports store, the son picks up a Green Bay Packers #12 jersey and says to his older sister, “I’ve decided to become a Packer fan and I would like this for Christmas.” His big sister is outraged by this and promptly whacks him on the head and says, “Go talk with mom.”

Off goes the little lad with the Green Bay Packer jersey in hand and finds his mother.

“Mom?”

“Yes, son?”

“I’ve decided I’m going to be a Packer fan, and I would like this Aaron Rodgers jersey for Christmas.” The mother is outraged, promptly whacks him on the head and says, “Go see your father.”

Off he goes with the Green Bay Packer #12 jersey in hand and finds his father.

“Dad?”

“Yes, son?”

“I’ve decided I’m going to be a Packer fan, and I would like this Rodgers jersey for Christmas.” The father is so outraged he, too, whacks his son on the head and says, “No son of mine is ever going to be seen in that!”

About half hour later they’re all back in the car heading towards home. The father turns to the son and says, “Son, I hope you’ve learned something today.”

The son says, “Yes, Dad, I have.”

“Good, son. What is it?”

The son replies, “I’ve only been a Packer fan for an hour and I already hate you Illinois bastards.”

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Green Bay Packers Season Ticket Waiting List - 2010 Edition




As some of you might know and most of you don't care, I am a proud member of the Green Bay Packers season ticket waiting list. Each year, the Green Bay Packers send out a postcard with my waiting list number. I received mine today and this year I am number 3995. Last year I was 4131 so I moved up 136 spots. My parents put me on the list during training camp in 1990. I've been on the list for 20 years already and if the current pace holds up, I will get my own tickets in 29 years! I'll be 59 years old! I should preface this by saying that my parents already have season tickets in section 130 and, fingers crossed, when they decide to pass them down, they will pass them to me.

Here is how my number has decreased over the years:

2010 - 3995
2009 - 4131
2008 - 4291
2007 - 4387
2006 - 4453
2003 - 4640
2002 - 5053
2001 - 6405
(Unknown Year) - 8925

Click HERE for last year's edition.

Friday, October 22, 2010

How My D!@& Taste? - CoD:MW2 Gameplay Video with Commentary


Was It Worth It, Brett?

I hope it was worth it, Brett. You lost well paying sponsors, disgraced a beautiful, caring wife and sullied a reputation you spent 20 years building.

I mean the below is nice, but damn. Was it worth it?


Thursday, September 9, 2010

The Evolution of a Foot Pursuit

There was an article in the Press about a guy who stole a car, crashed it and ran off. I'm not exactly sure why, but the pictures really made me laugh. It's probably because the Press photographer happened to catch the story by not even moving. Also, his photos tell the story of the foot pursuit better than that hack writing the Press produces.

So here is the foot pursuit story told in pictures...

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2: The Fifth and Final Time

And I finally got to good 'ole number 5. I was ecstatic when I finally got to my 5th Prestige because I got these...

My Rage Against the Machine Title:


My Fifth Prestige Emblem:


I'm glad Infinity Ward came out with new maps because it keeps the game fresh. Now when I play the old maps it is a nice change of pace. Although, I hope they come out with another pack...soon. I'm still holding out hope they release my favorite CoD 4: MW map...Crossfire.


It's going to be nice when I get back up to 70 and get my AK-47 again. I will actually be able to spend some quality time with it for a change. Ahhh...to hold your sweet killing power in my hands again. We'll meet again...soon.

And I promise that I will only subject you to one more of these notes. There will be one final one to show my stats after I'm finished with my 5th Prestige.

This is my player logo...


Stats at the time of 4th Prestige: (Stats from 3rd, 2nd and 1st Prestige in Parentheses.)

As of right now, I'm no longer ranked in the top 1,000,000 in any category and that is because there are many, many, MANY cheaters and glitchers that ruin the leaderboards. That shit never happened in Battlefield: Bad Company. I'm just saying.

Score - 2,775,370 (2,176,360 - 1,634,090 - 1,098,380 - 573,230)
Time Played - 12 days, 18 hours, 39 minutes (10 days, 1 hours, 26 minutes - 7 days, 15 hours, 31 minutes - 5 days, 3 hours, 36 minutes - 2 days, 18 hours, 23 minutes)

Wins - 1,289 (1,040 - 779 - 526 - 280)
Losses - 1,309 (1,013 - 731 - 466 - 239)
Ratio - (1.03 - 1.07 - 1.13 - 1.17)
Streak - 14 (14 - 11 -11 - 11)

Kills - 27,259 (21,371 - 16,069 - 10,823 - 5,668)
Deaths - 23,287 (18,730 - 13,805 - 9,327 - 4,972)
Ratio - 1.17 (1.14 - 1.16 - 1.16 - 1.14)
Streak - 23 (20 - 20 - 20 - 13)

Accuracy - 18.27% (18.59% - 19.19% - 19.09% - 19.22%)
Shots Hit - 63,319 (52,314 - 39,118 - 26,271 - 13,523)
Shots Missed - 283,190 (229,032 - 164,669 - 111,307 - 56,827)

Progress:


Favorite Callsign Earned During My 1st Prestige:
"Death From Above" - Get a Game Winning Killcam with an AC130.

Favorite Emblem Earned During My 1st Prestige:
"Dominos" - Kill an enemy by setting off a chain reaction of explosives.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

ApplesofDecency, do you find it painful when I get funky?



ApplesofDecency tried very hard to annoy me during a match tonight. He thought I was camping because I wanted to increase my kill to death ratio. To be fair, I was camping. But it was on Carnival and I always camp in the building since it's the focus of the map and everyone tries to take it. I was NOT trying to increase my K/D ratio.

He tried to lay down in front of me to block my view, but he died first. The other team never even saw me. Plus, I was laying in a spot that no matter where he stood or crouched, I could still see the door opening. Then he tried shooting me to let the other team know where I was. The whole time telling me that I couldn't be having fun just camping.

That couldn't have been farther from the truth.

I was really enjoying getting under his skin. Especially after my 1-3 start. He was extremely happy that I started with only a few kills. He was almost giddy with pride. But then it changed. All of a sudden, I was rattling off death like Sly Stallone in Rambo.


Every time I got a kill, I thanked him. What he didn't realize is that not only was he dying when the other team stormed the building, the other team just kept coming because they knew someone was there. And I just kept picking them off...like a pimp.

I had my killstreaks lined up as Predator Missile - Harrier Airstrike - Emergency Air Drop. I rattled off a 14 kill streak before I could even call anything in. After getting noob-tubed...finally...I called everything in. I got a Precision Airstrike, Sentry Gun and two Counter-UAVs. I rattled off a 9 kill streak and finished the match like 24-4.

Too bad the little bitch didn't stick around and take his verbal lashing like a man. After taunting him for most of the next match, he left with his tale between his legs.

So if you see ApplesofDecency on XBOX Live, please thank him for Lunchbox37. I owe one of my favorite matches ever to him.

Thanks again, buddy!

And of course, I avoided him, filed a complaint and muted him.

You can take a look at his XBOX Live Gamertag HERE.

This is his digital representation of what he thinks he is...


And what does his actual XBOX Live bio say?

Do you find it painful when I get funky?

Yup. A nice douchetastic bio. So ApplesofDecency, do ya?

Sunday, July 25, 2010

A Sunday Afternoon at the Park

The most fun I've ever had at a Milwaukee Brewer game...sober, that is. Matt, Bill, Dan and I had passes to sit in the NYCE Club. Awesome views. Awesome air-conditioning. Awesomely hot, sexy and funny waitress. All that AND it was Robin Yount Bobblehead Doll Day. It cannot get any better than this.





Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2...Prestiging for the Fifth...FUCK!...Only the Fourth Time

Okay, I know you're not reading these anymore, but I'M A FUCKING IDIOT! Do I still have your attention. Good. I was all excited once I found out that for the 5th Prestige, I'd get this title...

...and an extra custom class. I was going to rock the Rage Against the Machine title and get another custom class to add a LMG to the repertoire. So I took the plunge and Prestiged again in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. Turns out I can't count to five. I was only on the 3rd Prestige so I got nothing I wanted. I just lost all the guns, camo and challenges I worked so hard to earn. FUCK!

At least I fell off the wagon. Hard. And it's a good thing too. I AM back to being an addict and I'm hooked on CoD: MW2 again. I missed my crack. I was fiending something fierce.

I'm 100% sure I WILL Prestige again. Well...because I have to. I mean, come on, I'm a fucking idiot. Now I have to get to prestige 5. I need my Rage title. I want my extra class. I need it. I want it. Oh, baby. Oh, baby.

Since I didn't Prestige right away at level 70, I was able to play quite a bit with the AK-47. Oh, sweet AK-47. I will miss your supple killing power. Mmmm, mmmm. I loved that sexy AK. We will meet again. Soon, I hope.

This is my player logo...


Stats at the time of 4th Prestige: (Stats from 3rd, 2nd and 1st Prestige in Parentheses.)

As of right now, I'm no longer ranked in the top 1,000,000 in any category. I chalk that up to two reasons. First, I took a 3 month break from the game. It was needed, but it cost me valuable time. Second, there are many, many, MANY cheaters and glitchers that ruin the leaderboards. That shit never happened in Battlefield: Bad Company. I'm just saying.

Score - 2,176,360 (1,634,090 - 1,098,380 - 573,230)
Time Played - 10 days, 1 hours, 26 minutes (7 days, 15 hours, 31 minutes - 5 days, 3 hours, 36 minutes - 2 days, 18 hours, 23 minutes)

Wins - 1,040 (779 - 526 - 280)
Losses - 1,013 (731 - 466 - 239)
Ratio - 1.03 (1.07 - 1.13 - 1.17)
Streak - 14 (11 -11 - 11)

Kills - 21,371 (16,069 - 10,823 - 5,668)
Deaths - 18,730 (13,805 - 9,327 - 4,972)
Ratio - 1.14 (1.16 - 1.16 - 1.14)
Streak - 20 (20 - 20 - 13)

Accuracy - 18.59% (19.19% - 19.09% - 19.22%)
Shots Hit - 52,314 (39,118 - 26,271 - 13,523)
Shots Missed - 229,032 (164,669 - 111,307 - 56,827)

Progress:


Favorite Callsign Earned During My 1st Prestige:



Favorite Emblem Earned During My 1st Prestige:

Monday, July 5, 2010

How Doth My Tail Lights Offend Ye?

As I wrote in my post titled, Markllennium Falcon Speeds Past the 200k Parsec Barrier..."I once was pulled over for having illegal tail light covers. (Nothing fancy. Just the ones that Auto Zone sold.) Then a month after I took them off, I was pulled over for having too bright of tail lights. Both times were potential drunk stops since they were late at night. Both times I was 100% sober. Thank God."

I guess I can add a 3rd tail light violation story. FML.



So I went to Doug's house for a fire and a few fireworks. Had a good time. Once 11:30 rolled around I decided to head home. I was driving north into Howards Grove. As I passed the Pig, a Sheboygan County Sheriff's Deputy passed me heading south. I made the turn onto College Ave and I noticed headlights in my rear view mirror...closing quick. As I passed Lincoln Ave...BAM...the lights go on. I knew I did not do anything wrong. I was completely sober. I was not speeding. I used my turn signal. My music was not banging.

It had to be a drunk stop. And...it was.

He walks up to the window and asks for my driver's license. I have not updated my address since I moved back from Oregon, WI. (I don't want to have to pay for a new license when I already paid for the one I have.) So I gave it to him and told him I had a new address. He looks at my WISCONSIN license and says, "So you no longer live in the great state of Oregon?" Crap. It's going to be a long night.

He comes back to the truck and lectures me on the legality of aftermarket tail lights. In his infinite wisdom, he asks me why I bought them. "Because I liked the style. To be honest, I thought they were cool when I was 18. Back in 1998." I then preceded to tell him the stories about the two other times I was pulled over for tail light violations. Did not seem to sway him.

He tells me that I have white light emanating from my tail lights and that my break lights were not working. He tells me to tap my break lights as he checks them. They work. What a shocker. Then he tells me to turn my lights on so he can check the "white" light. He calls me to the back of my truck to inspect the "white" light. I don't see it. Don't get me wrong. The red lights are bright. Just not bright white. So I sit back in my truck and wait the 10 minutes for him to fill out the violation warning. I reluctantly grab the warning and head home.

As you can tell from the pictures below, the lights that the officer said were "white" are actually red. There it is...visual proof. Wow. Still doesn't matter though. I have to purchase new lights because the cop was not man enough to admit that he only pulled me over hoping that I was drunk. I wasn't. So being sober cost me.

And there it is! The lesson I learned.

It's better to get hammered than to stay sober. If I was hammered, then Linnea would not have let me drive home. No driving. No DUI. No fake "light" stop. Since I was sober, I was pulled over for nothing. It cost me time and money.

I guess I need to get wasted more often. August 5th cannot come soon enough.

Driver Side-




Passenger Side -


Thursday, June 24, 2010

LIVE NUDE SMODCAST!!! Kevin Smith & Scott Mosier Live in Madison, WI

They were awesome shows! Without a doubt. It was never even in question.

Download the 10 pm show HERE. Scott tells an awesome story about a coke fueled binge. Priceless.