Monday, July 5, 2010

How Doth My Tail Lights Offend Ye?

As I wrote in my post titled, Markllennium Falcon Speeds Past the 200k Parsec Barrier..."I once was pulled over for having illegal tail light covers. (Nothing fancy. Just the ones that Auto Zone sold.) Then a month after I took them off, I was pulled over for having too bright of tail lights. Both times were potential drunk stops since they were late at night. Both times I was 100% sober. Thank God."

I guess I can add a 3rd tail light violation story. FML.



So I went to Doug's house for a fire and a few fireworks. Had a good time. Once 11:30 rolled around I decided to head home. I was driving north into Howards Grove. As I passed the Pig, a Sheboygan County Sheriff's Deputy passed me heading south. I made the turn onto College Ave and I noticed headlights in my rear view mirror...closing quick. As I passed Lincoln Ave...BAM...the lights go on. I knew I did not do anything wrong. I was completely sober. I was not speeding. I used my turn signal. My music was not banging.

It had to be a drunk stop. And...it was.

He walks up to the window and asks for my driver's license. I have not updated my address since I moved back from Oregon, WI. (I don't want to have to pay for a new license when I already paid for the one I have.) So I gave it to him and told him I had a new address. He looks at my WISCONSIN license and says, "So you no longer live in the great state of Oregon?" Crap. It's going to be a long night.

He comes back to the truck and lectures me on the legality of aftermarket tail lights. In his infinite wisdom, he asks me why I bought them. "Because I liked the style. To be honest, I thought they were cool when I was 18. Back in 1998." I then preceded to tell him the stories about the two other times I was pulled over for tail light violations. Did not seem to sway him.

He tells me that I have white light emanating from my tail lights and that my break lights were not working. He tells me to tap my break lights as he checks them. They work. What a shocker. Then he tells me to turn my lights on so he can check the "white" light. He calls me to the back of my truck to inspect the "white" light. I don't see it. Don't get me wrong. The red lights are bright. Just not bright white. So I sit back in my truck and wait the 10 minutes for him to fill out the violation warning. I reluctantly grab the warning and head home.

As you can tell from the pictures below, the lights that the officer said were "white" are actually red. There it is...visual proof. Wow. Still doesn't matter though. I have to purchase new lights because the cop was not man enough to admit that he only pulled me over hoping that I was drunk. I wasn't. So being sober cost me.

And there it is! The lesson I learned.

It's better to get hammered than to stay sober. If I was hammered, then Linnea would not have let me drive home. No driving. No DUI. No fake "light" stop. Since I was sober, I was pulled over for nothing. It cost me time and money.

I guess I need to get wasted more often. August 5th cannot come soon enough.

Driver Side-




Passenger Side -


1 comment:

  1. Pigs r the worst of the scammers of the world.

    ReplyDelete