Wednesday, August 5, 2009

The Art of Douchebaggery!

I hate non-handicapped bastards who park in the handicapped parking spot. I REALLY hate bastards who park in TWO handicapped parking spots.

So I'm taking lunch at work yesterday and this douchebag pulls across both handicapped parking spots.

I thought, okay, it was an isolated douchebag incident. I was wrong. I was at lunch today and some new douchebag did the same thing.

They work for a company that picks up old real estate magazines and drops off new ones. Usually, the normal douchebag parks in the handicapped spot. The only saving grace is that he parks in the spot like a normal driver. Not these douchebags. They think it is okay to take up the ONLY handicapped spots in the lot. Will it really kill you to walk that extra 12 feet? No. Unless, obviously and I can't believe I didn't know this, you're a douchebag.

I want to throat punch them.

I want some prison warden to strip them down and let the rapists in D Block have their way with them.

I want Michael Weston and Fiona to put just a bit of C4 under their cars. Just enough for a little "show."

I want to smash their face into a car windshield, and then take their mothers out for a nice seafood dinner and never call them again.

Why must we accept this douchebaggery?

More importantly, why is it wrong to take a pipe wrench to their skulls?

Please, don't be a douchebag. I beg of you.

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