Gaming is Nerd Cool

I got into a discussion with a girl at work today about how "nerdy" playing video games is. The conversation started because I posted some in-game photos on Facebook. (Battlefield: Bad Company allows you to upload actual multiplayer screen shots to the EA website. I think this is awesome because it allows me to show off my killer moments in the game.) The conversation devolved into an interesting debate on the difference between what activities make you a nerd, geek, dork or spaz. I conceded defeat that gaming is nerdy. However, gaming is, and always will be, nerd cool.

Like Uncle, Like Goddaughter

This is my goddaughter. The sweetest, most innocent person in the world. Isn't she cute?

Lyric Wednesdays - AC/DC

I picked this song for 2 reasons. The first is because of a drunk man that my old roommate saw in a bar at noon. Why? Because it's AC/DC mang. The other is because of the all-time MLB saves leader and new Milwaukee Brewer closer, Trevor Hoffman. It is electric in Miller Park when the bells toll. I watched his first Brewer appearance on television and it was awesome. I experienced his first Brewer save at Miller Park and it was mind-blowing!

I have to admit that I am not the biggest AC/DC fan. I grew up on "Thunderstruck" because I played sports and it was also on to pump me up. I enjoy "Back in Black" and a few other radio hits. It was not until Doug Melvin ponied up 6 million bones for Hoffman that I started to love this song. I've been waiting since the day the signing was announced to hear it at Miller Park. On April 28th, I finally had the chance.

So turn the speakers to 11 and experience "Hells Bells."

I'm a rolling thunder, a pouring rain
I'm comin' on like a hurricane
My lightnings flashing across the sky
You're only young but you're gonna die

I wont take no prisoners, wont spare no lives
Nobody's putting up a fight
I got my bell, I'm gonna take you to hell
I'm gonna get you, Satan get you

Hells bells
Yeah, hells bells
You got me ringing hells bells
My temperatures high, hells bells

Ill give you black sensations up and down your spine
If you're into evil you're a friend of mine
See my white light flashing as I split the night
cause if goods on the left, then I'm stickin' to the right

I wont take no prisoners, wont spare no lives
Nobody's puttin' up a fight
I got my bell, I'm gonna take you to hell
I'm gonna get you, Satan get you

Yeow
Hells bells, Satan's comin' to you
Hells bells, hes ringing them now
Hells bells, the temperatures high
Hells bells, across the sky
Hells bells, they're takin' you down
Hells bells, they're draggin' you around
Hells bells, gonna split the night
Hells bells, there's no way to fight, yeah

Ow, ow, ow, ow

Hells bells

1st 2009 Brewer Game at Miller Park

I went to my first Brewer game for the season. They beat the lowly Pirates 6-5.

Matt, Dan and I tailgated. We made some regular brats and cheese brats. I had some Raspberry Burst Smirnoff Ice. Doug joined us just in time for the eats.

We entered behind home plate and I bought a score card. I have a ritual of buying a hat at each Brewer game I go to so I headed to the new team store behind home plate in search of one. I had my eyes on one of the ball and glove logo hats. I could not find one that fit me. Evidently, my size 8 head makes it impossible to buy a hat at Miller Park. All I wanted was a fitted or flex-fit hat, but I could not find one in my size. We hit up 2 stores and 2 stands before I found one. It is a batting practice flex-fit hat. It's the new logo, but it will do. After I got the shopping bug out of my system, we took our seats in section 427.

As for the game, it started off and ended great. Braun hit a run scoring single in the first to get the Brewers on the board. Pittsburgh answered with 5 unanswered runs. We were getting pissed at the game and I was hungry for some cheese fries (yes, in the mini batting helmet) so we moved down to section 230. I love the fact that one can smoke in the Loge Bar. Matt gave a smoke to a smokin' hot drunk chick. Then the Brewers' bats awoke. In the 5th, Braun got his 2nd RBI on a double and got plated by Mike Cameron. In the 6th, BillHall (Dan tells me his name is one word) hit a home run right at Friday's to make it 5-4. A few batters later, Rickie Weeks hit a 2-run shot into the Brewers bullpen to make it 6-5 Brew Crew. Miller Park was hopping!

The sausage race was interesting. We all put some money on the race. Matt took it with the Polish winning. I picked the Chorizo and he finished tied for last. What a disappointment! Feeling the gambling urge, we went to the right field side to see how fast our balls are. Dan threw 61, Matt 59, and Doug won with a 69. Doug took it waaaaay too serious as he does with all bets. Since we were in the right field area, we sat in section 208.

Then came the top of the 9th and the bells. Once the bells started tolling, Miller Park errupted. Trevor Hoffman strolls out to the mound and finishes off the Pirates for his first save as a Brewer.

The final score was Milwaukee 6, Pittsburgh 5.

On the way out, I noticed a guy wearing a Arizona Diamondbacks jacket. I did not notice at first, but Doug pointed out the guy's ring. It looked like the World Series ring. I think he was scouting the Brewers for their upcoming weekend series, which I'm also going to.

All-in-all, I had fun and it was a great game. It did not hurt that the Brewers won. It made getting home at midnight seem early. I cannot wait for Sunday's game. It's Brauny bobblehead doll day. FTW!

Movie Mondays - Shawshank Redemption Edition

Greatest Movie Ever. Big words? Yes, but it delivers on every level.

If you have watched it, you know. If you have not watched it, why the fuck not?

If I catch just a few minutes of it, I am moved. If I catch the ending? I'm done. I cry like a bitch. That's all I can ask for in a movie.

Just remember this powerful quote to live by..."Get busy living or get busy dying."

Open Letter to Draft Eligible Underclassman

Dear College Underclassman,
Are you sure you want to declare for the draft? If you have the talent and are certain to go in round 1 or 2, go ahead. If you're a borderline talent, please see P.J. Hill. He had no business declaring for the draft and he paid for it by not being drafted. Do you think he'll regret it on Saturdays when John Clay is running wild? Stay in school and enjoy the campus experience. Score a couple of hot sorority sisters and relish being the big man on campus. Savor your time in college! It'll be gone before you know it.

Sincerely,
All Pro and College Football Fans

2009 NFL Draft Recap - Day 2

Day 2 is in the books and the Packers took a myriad of players. Both Mel Kiper and Todd McShay said the Packers' draft was the best. I'd have to agree. Another home run for TT!

Here are the Packs' picks in rounds 4 through 7:

Round 4 - T.J. Lang - OT, Eastern Michigan. Need pick. With Clifton getting old and Tauscher injured and not yet signed, TT needed to pick up a few tackles. I think only 1 of the tackles drafted today will make the team unless Barbre, Moll or Giacomini take a step back. There is a good chance of one of those 3 backpedaling.

Round 5 - Quinn Johnson - FB, LSU. Interesting pick. We already have Hall and Kuhn. However, Hall cannot stay healthy and Kuhn is not a great talent. Johnson is a real roadgrader and a special teams maven. I think he's got a good chance to make the team.

Round 5 - Jamon Meredith - OT, South Carolina. Not as good at run blocking as Lang, but is better in pass protection. Played in the SEC so he is used to blocking talented college players. Solid chance to make the team.

Round 6 - Jarius Wynn - DE, Georgia. This is my favorite pick on day 2. I think he has the ability to not only make the team, but get some snaps. If he can show pass rush moves in preseason, he could be a lock.

Round 6 - Brandon Underwood - CB, Cincinnati. Played a lot of safety. Could make the team if Rouse does not improve and Bigby cannot stay healthy. Was named team special teams MVP so you know he is not afraid to mix it up.

Round 7 - Brad Jones - OLB, Colorado. Solid run stopper, but has trouble in coverage. With Matthews drafted in the 1st round and all the backers already on the team, Jones will have trouble making the roster. He better show A LOT on special teams.

Day 2 Notes -

There were only 4 Wisconsin Badgers selected. I was surprised that only one Badger offensive lineman was drafted. I thought Andy Kemp would have gotten picked. The bigger surprise was that Jonathan Casillas was not drafted. If you want to see his talent on display, check out the 2007 Capital One Bowl when he chased down Darren McFadden. Enough said. He should have been drafted. Congratulations, Kraig Urbik. You were drafted by the perfect team. Enjoy Pittsburgh. Message to anyone in the same town as P.J. Hill - stay off the roads tonight because P.J. Hill did not get drafted so he's probably out drinking. What a waste.

The Saints moved up to select a punter. I laugh when that happens. Then I cry. Fuck you, Mike Sherman. And fuck you, B.J. Sander.

Who was ESPN's highest rated player that did not get drafted? Gerald Cadogan - OT, Penn State. He was rated 97th overall. 256 players were drafted. I thought that everyone in the top 100 would have been drafted. He was not alone though. Michael Bennett - DE, Texas A&M was rated 99 and also did not get drafted. They should get together and have a pity party.

I feel bad for Brian Hoyer and Quan Cosby. They allowed ESPN into their living rooms only to not be drafted. Plus, Cosby had the misfortune of having Bill Cosby with him. It's worse than Aaron Rodgers and Brady Quinn slipping in round 1. At least those 2 were drafted.

Congratulations, Ryan Succop - K, South Carolina. You're Mr. Irrelevent 2009! Good luck trying to make the Chiefs.

Why All The Ted Thompson Hate?

Ted Thompson haters piss me the fuck off! I do not get it. I absolutely do not get the Ted Thompson hate.

I realize most of the hate comes from one, and only one, decision TT has ever made...to trade Brett Favre. Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge Favre fan and always will be. And I wish his tenure would not have ended the way it did. But haters should remember that Brett retired. The Packers had to move on. Once Brett decided to come back, that's when TT screwed up. He should have either let Brett come back right away or traded him right away. The drama ruined training camp and forever put a little ding in Brett's armor. But this must be said, I am a Packer fan FIRST. If someone does not want to wear the green and gold, even someone as great as Favre, then I can't support him. Normally, I'd tell that player (I'm looking at you, Javon.) to fuck off and get the hell out of Green Bay, but I can't do that to Brett. He gave me too many great memories.

After the Raji pick, one of my Facebook friends posted this as his status, "TT YOU ARE THE MOST FUCKED UP PERSON IN THE WORLD." I felt the need to respond. I had to. I could not let that go without a response. Not just because of the TT hate, but also because Raji was a solid pick. I replied with "TT is a good general manager. He was able to remake a roster that Sherman left in shambles." That is a true statement. It cannot be disputed. Sherman ran the depth of the Packers into the ground. Sure, there were talented starters, but the vast majority of those were left from the Ron Wolf era.

After I made that comment, I figured I'd get some responses, but nothing as eye-opening as a comment made by a female friend of his. She said and I quote, "OH WOW! I'm not a packer fan, or even a football fan for that matter, but I can not understand how ANYONE would think he was a good gm." Are you fucking kidding me? How can you judge football decisions without being a fan? Please take your Brett Favre idolotry and get the fuck out.

Unfortunately, I made a rash decision to respond to her, but I quickly deleted my post. It went something like "I don't know cooking so I don't make comments regarding the skills of Bobby Flay or Rachel Ray." I don't know the girl that made the comment so I felt bad. That's why I deleted it. However, Facebook emails posts to everyone that commented on the status. So she responded with this gem. "Well I'm sorry u feel i am uninformed. Just because I am not a football fan does not mean I do not know anything about football. I live with someone who LIVES football. I watch sportscenter probably close to 5 hours a day or more. I do not proclaim to be a genius but I'm not an idiot either." Obviously, you are. I'm sorry, I don't even know you, but you are A FUCKING moron! I live with my father, a mechanic by trade. He reads magazines and watches television about fixing things. Does this mean I am a mechanic? Fuck no. So just because you watch Sportscenter and live with someone who is a football fanatic, that does not qualify you to have an informed opinion on TT's job performance. I guess the old saying is true. "Opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one and most of them stink." (P.S. In this metaphor, you're opinion stinks like an asshole. I figured I had to explain that since you do not seem that bright.)

You don't agree with me? Take a look at what the experts say about TT's 2009 draft.

Todd McShay:
Philly, Green Bay make the best impression when reviewing NFC draft classes.
Best pick: DT B.J. Raji, Boston College (First round, No. 9 overall)
Worst pick: FB Quinn Johnson, LSU (Fifth round, No. 145 overall)
Bottom line: It's hard to pinpoint a weakness in this draft. Raji is a perfect fit at NT as the Packers transition to a 3-4 defense, and OLB Clay Matthews gives them a player with experience in a hybrid 3-4/4-3 scheme. OT T.J. Lang is one of the most underrated offensive linemen in this year's class and could emerge as yet another midround O-line starter for Green Bay. The Packers also took some chances in the later rounds on risk/reward players like G Jamon Meredith and CB Brandon Underwood.

Mel Kiper Jr:
GRADE: A (Highest Rated Draft)
I love what this team did to solidify its shaky defense in the first two picks alone, with the selection of two excellent players in defensive tackle B.J. Raji and outside linebacker Clay Matthews. Tackle T.J. Lang was a good pickup for the offensive line, while Quinn Johnson could be a bruising lead fullback in the league. Sixth-round pick Brandon Underwood could make this team and give the Packers depth as a backup.

Do you still hate TT? Then go fuck yourself.

I will give the haters this though...another .500 or worse season and I will relent and put TT on the hot seat. He will last through at least 2010 though. Of course, if 2009 is a disastrous 4-12 season, then all bets are off. However, that will not happen with the talent on the team. And oh yeah, we still play the Lions twice a year.

If the Packers win the Super Bowl under TT's watch, then he deserves to be talked about in the same breath as Ron Wolf. If the Packers fail to make the play-offs the next two years, I will understand when TT gets fired. I will not, however, hate.

I will never hate on TT. And you should not either.

2009 NFL Draft Recap - Day 1

So the 2009 NFL draft has begun and Day 1 is in the books. Here's my recap from a Packer fan's perspective.

1st Round -

Packers Pick: B.J. Raji - DT, Boston College. I like it. It's growing on me. It's not sexy, but it helps the team. It will give us someone stout up front against the great runners in our division. I'm positive Adrian Peterson cannot run over Raji. Plus, in 2009, Ryan Pickett can start and Raji can spell him. Then next year when Pickett's contract is up, Raji can step in and start. I remember how much Gilbert Brown controlled the line of scrimmage during the Super Bowl years. I'm expecting Raji to do the same. I'd be remiss without mentioning that Michael Crabtree was sitting there for us. That would have been amazing. We might not have stopped anyone on defense, but with Rodgers slinging it and Crabtree added to the best receiving corps in the NFL, the Pack would have scored 40 every game. It'll be interesting when Crabtree and the 49ers come to Lambeau Field on November 22nd.

Packers Pick: Clay Matthews, Jr. - OLB, USC. This was a shock. A good shock, though. TT never trades up. He gave up a lot, but drafted a talented 3-4 OLB with a great pedigree. TT has instantly improved a lackluster defense. I think we can plug Matthews in for the next 10 years. He'll be a starter by week one. He walked on at USC only to dedicate himself to becoming a great player through hard work. Matthews could be our DeMarcus Ware or Shawn Merriman. I am really impressed with this pick.

Best Pick: Michael Crabtree going to the 49ers with the 10th pick. It gives them their first stud wide receiver since that cancer T.O. left town. Crabtree was high on everyone's board. Hell, the Packers had Crabtree as #1 on their board. Now only if the 49ers could get a quarterback to throw him the ball. Once a QB gets to San Fran, Crabtree will be a perennial Pro Bowler. Do you think the Niners are still kicking themselves for taking Alex Smith over Aaron Rodgers? I think that turned out pretty good...for the Packers.

Worst Pick: Darrius Heyward-Bay going to the Raiders 7th overall. Are you kidding me? Maybe if Crabtree, Maclin, AND Harvin were off the board, then it would have been an okay pick. This will go down as one the worst picks EVER! Maybe Robert Gallery can give Heyward-Bay advice on how to be bust. Mel Kiper gave this pick a F. I would say that is too high. I'll call it was it was - STUPID! This is why the Raiders are the Raiders. Al Davis needs to step back into oblivion. The only thing that was good about the pick is that it increased the options that were available to the Packers.

Most Surprising: See Worst Pick. If you have forgot already, the Raiders are FUCKING MORONS! Ha-Ha!

2nd Round -

Packers Pick: No picks since TT moved up into the first. Did I mention I am amazed by that? I was sitting there watching the draft with my dad. At around pick 22, I said wouldn't it be great to get Matthews. Then I was like, "Never mind. TT won't go up to get him." As the 26th pick came up, my dad said "It's the Packers!" He was shocked...as was damn near every Packer fan. Great first day, TT!

Best Pick: Hands down it's Rey Maualuga going 38th to the Cincinnati Bengals. This guy is a beast. He's mean. He's a leader. He's just plain nasty. Some mocks had him going in the low teens, but he drops to early in the second. That's what I call a good value pick. I hope Maualuga plays with a chip on his shoulder. He should, too. I'm just glad he's in the AFC.

Worst Pick: I have nothing against Alphonso Smith or Everette Brown. Although, I do not think Brown will be special. (It's my Jamal Reynolds phobia.) However, I've never been a fan of trading next year's first round pick for a 2nd in the current year. Denver and Carolina must be really sold on those guys because they came at a high price. What happens if Denver or Carolina get a top 10 pick next year? Neither one of those guys is worth it. If I was a Bronco or Panther fan, I'd be pissed. Actually, if I was a Bronco fan, I'd find the tallest building with the skinniest ledges, but that's because of other things. (Fucking Super Bowl XXXII!)

Most Surprising: It's not surprising that the Bengals picked Maualuga. It IS surprising he was still there at 38. The Bengals got a steal on this kid. I listened to Ken Norton Jr. talk about him. Wow. Norton, himself a great LB, says Maualuga is a great LB and will be a perennial Pro Bowler. I believe him. He's a beast. Both of them.

Day 1 Notes -

No Wisconsin players drafted. Not surprising though. If Beckum would have came out last year, I think he would have gone late 1st or early 2nd round. What a difference a year makes. On the same subject, P.J. Hill will probably not be drafted. He should have came back. It would have at least gave him a better chance at getting drafted. Maybe the Packers can pick him up as an undrafted free agent. I also love the shorter clocks. 10 minutes is just the right amount of time. I wonder what the GMs think about it. There are a few things I miss though. I miss the 3rd round picked on day 1. I also miss live look-ins into war rooms. It was interesting to see the setups and the interactions. Note to ESPN: Please bring the war room cameras back!

2009 NFL Draft

With the ninth pick in the 2009 NFL draft, the Green Bay Packers select...who knows. With Ted Thompson running the draft, I have no idea. I still have 100% faith in him. However, another .500 or worse season and I will officially put him on the hot seat. I do not think he will get fired until after the 2010 season at the earliest. That of course is barring a disastrous 4-12 season. (Which will not happen with the talent on the team. And oh yeah, we still play the Lions twice a year. I want to see how good of an arm Matthew Stafford actually has when he is running for his life behind that high school offensive line. In a small way, I feel bad for him. Congratulations, you are the number 1 pick in the draft - here's a Lions jersey. That's got to be depressing. Then again, after an 0-16 season, can the team get any worse?)

Since the NFL draft starts tomorrow, I'm like a kid on Christmas. Who will the Packers draft? Will they trade down? Or up? Will McCarthy ever smile? How many times will they bring up Tony Fucking Mandarich?

Although the pundits say this is a talent-thin draft, there are a few players I would love to have on the team. I would be happy with Malcolm Jenkins, Brian Orakpo, B.J. Raji, or Tyson Jackson. I would be ecstatic with Andre Smith, Eugene Monroe, or Jason Smith - none of whom would be available at 9. My ideal 2009 Packers draft would go something like this...

1st Round - Malcolm Jenkins - CB, Ohio State (After TT trades back a few slots and picks up an extra 2nd round pick.)
2nd Round - Larry English - DE/OLB, Northern Illinois
2nd Round - Phil Loadholt - OT, Oklahoma
3rd Round - Travis Beckham - TE, Wisconsin
3rd Round - Jason Watkins - OT, Florida
4th Round - Roy Miller - DT, Texas
5th Round - Zach Potter - DE, Nebraska
6th Round - Kevin Huber - P, Cincinnati
6th Round - Greg Carr - WR, Florida State
7th Round - P.J. Hill - RB, Wisconsin (Do you think this guy is pissed he did not stay in school? If he had a great senior season, P.J. could have been in the 3rd or 4th round next year. This year he might not even be drafted.)

Of course, it's not going to go down that way. TT will probably execute a few later round trades. Plus, he's bound to draft someone that nobody is talking about.

After each round is complete, I will have my favorite pick of the round, the most surprising pick, and my thoughts about who the Packers drafted from a fan's perspective.

Passion! Where? What?

On my lunch today, I was just sitting back trying to recapture a little glory. I seem to have lost all passion in most aspects of my life. The three places I still have it are at work (or making money in general,) playing my 360, and sports. Where is the passion elsewhere? It's dead. Dead as the Dodo bird. Dead as Michael Jackson's career. Dead.

One aspect I still exhibit passion for is online gaming. When I game, especially Battlefield: Bad Company, I am passionate. And I mean PASSIONATE! If somebody gets off a lucky shot from a shotgun at 50 feet, I'm screaming, "That's fucking ridiculous! The shotguns are way overpowered! What a bunch of fucking bullshit." When one my teammates does something stupid like team kill with a mortar strike or run over a teammate with a tank or worse, snipe while attacking, I'm shouting "Why the fuck are you sniping? You can't take objectives when you're two bases behind the rest of the team. Get in the fucking game, jackass!" It's comical. When I go downstairs to smoke after matches, my dad tells me to take it easy or my mom will come upstairs and shut my door because she cannot hear the television. If you do not believe me, ask any one my friends who has played with me. They will tell you I'm crazy on the Battlefield. I take my online gaming serious. That's passion!

I'm also passionate when it comes to money - earning it, saving it, and shamefully, spending it. Since September 2008, I've worked in Sheboygan at HSA Bank (a division of Webster Bank.) I've worked in a call center before and I really enjoyed it. I love dealing with people...just not face-to-face. The only thing I did not accomplish there was meeting new people. It was a vagabond bunch of characters that did not mesh well with me. I tried, but I do not have a single friend from there. At this job, my coworkers share the same interests...for the most part. Oops, I seem to swaying off topic so back to the subject at hand.

I do not know if is my job or the sinking economy, but I'm starting to save money...for once. I've started an eTrade account to day trade stocks. I'm using my eTrade account to maximize my savings through shroud investments. With the earnings, I'm planning on paying down my credit card debt. I'm up a few hundred bucks already. (Come on, AIG!) Through work, I've opened a HSA. (Wow. Who would have thought that HSA Bank offers HSAs? Weird, right? If you do not know what a HSA is, it's a tax-free savings account to supplement a High Deductible Health Plan.) HSA Bank also allows account holders to open up a TDAmeritrade account so I can invest my savings. The best part is that all interest and earnings in a HSA is also tax-free. Whoot! Whoot! Also, through work, I started my first 401k savings plan. Right now I can only contribute 10% of my paycheck, but Webster is nice enough to match 5%. It was 6% when I started, but the economic conditions forced them to lower it. I'm hoping they increase it once the economy turns around. Every little bit helps. Once I get my credit card debt under control and pay back my parents, I hope to increase my contribution to 20%. I am finally passionate about saving money. Thank god. And not a moment too soon. I have only 36 years left before the standard retirement age of 65. It seems like a lot, but it's not considering I have almost nothing in savings from my 12 years in the workforce and I'm not able to put much into my savings from my current job...yet.

I also love sports, mainly the Milwaukee Brewers and the Green Bay Packers.

So those are the 3 things I have passion for. Everything else is just blah to me. But maybe being passionate about 3 things is okay.

Baby steps, right?

Lyric Wednesdays - Johnny Cash

The song I picked for this week is the most personal, heart-wrenching song I've ever heard. I listened to the Nine Inch Nails version when I was younger and enjoyed it. 2 years ago a friend of mine wanted me to download the NIN version. I did a quick search and the Johnny Cash version popped up. Being a casual Cash fan, I hit play. I've never been the same. Then I saw the video. Again, I've never been the same. It is beautiful and depressing. When I listen to Cash's voice in this song, I can hear his age, his pain, his life, his fears...and his love.

So that brings me to the point where the song cemented it's place in my life. When I lived in Oregon, I had a bit of a nervous breakdown. Okay, so it WAS a nervous breakdown. I had a woe-is-me day. I spent the whole day in my room listening to this song...and crying. I must have listened to it 35 times. I thought I was over everything so I went out on the deck to smoke a cigarette with my roommate. I just lit up, didn't say anything, and starting crying again. I went back into my room and listened to it a few more times. After a half hour or so, I went back outside and lit up again. My roommate and I didn't talk about the "incident," but we understood...life sometimes sucks.

So what song is it? It is "Hurt" by Johnny Cash, off his acclaimed 2002 album "American IV: The Man Comes Around."

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

[Chorus:]
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

[Chorus:]
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

To Mod or Not To Mod. That is the Question I'm Blogging About

I have never been afraid to cheat on my 360, but only when it came to gamerscore. Boosting and game saving helped me reach the 100,000 gamerscore plateau. That all came crashing down when Microsoft reset my score and labeled me a cheater. I have not game saved since. However, I have NEVER cheated in an online game. (Doug, Ed, and Murda would beg to differ regarding a Madden game on New Year's Eve a few years back. However, it was NOT me. The 360 accidentally turned off. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.)

There are different ways to cheat in-game. One can use a modded controller. (A modded controller has buttons on the back that turns the triggers into turbo. Basically, it turns a powerful single shot rifle into an unstoppable, fully automatic killing machine.) One could glitch to get to places the game designers did not intend players to be. Or one could use a glitch that eliminates the artillery gun's reload time. The first two were EXTREMELY prevalent in Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare...even to this day. The last glitch was in Battlefield: Bad Company. Every time Murda or Matt or I ran into someone we knew was cheating, we immediately made them avoided players. (In XBOX Live, you can either prefer or avoid another player. Basically, it either increases or decreases the chances of playing with them again.) We also reported a Live Violation for system tampering (modded controller) or cheating (glitching.)

I was never tempted because I knew it would not make that big of a deal to me. I was new to first person shooters so my reflexes were not as quick as others. Plus I did not know the maps all that well. That has now changed in Battlefield: Bad Company. I've played so much that I know the maps by heart. I can tell others where snipers will be. I know where the opponent will make their first line of attack. I blow up certain walls to make defending easier. I take out emplacements to make attacking easier. I know what kits are best to use on certain crates. If I'm not first overall in points after a match, I'm probably tops on my team. At the very least, I'm top 3 on my team. If I do not finish in the top 3, it irrates me. Luckily, that does not happen often.

But I think I've peaked. I do not seem to be getting better (or worse for that matter.) So the other day, I happened to be cruising eBay and noticed modded controllers for sale. They used to be over $200 so I was fiscally prohibited from buying one. But it seems the prices have dropped. They now can be bought for $75 and that includes custom lighting and color dyes. My conscience is preventing me from getting one...at the moment. But who will know if I get one? It's hard to tell in Battlefield: Bad Company. The only for sure way to know is when a sniper has an automatic pistol. It's easier to tell in CoD 4: MW and CoD: WaW due to the kill cams. During the kill cam, if the gun recoils 1 time, but 50 bullets come out, it's a modded controller. I really want one, but I can't seem to pull the trigger (pun intended.)

So should I or shouldn't I? I'm set on NO for now, but after every match, I'm leaning more and more towards YES.

Movie Mondays - Clerks Edition

What "Clerks" Has Meant to My Life

"I'm 37?" The quote is simple. The meaning is quite extensive.

I first saw "Clerks" on a senior skip day in 1997. My buddy Doug was like "There's this black and white comedy with lots of swearing in it. You need to watch it." The number 37 has been a part of my life ever since. My XBOX Live handle is Lunchbox37. If I create a player in a sports game, I give him jersey #37. My friends and I joke to this day about being number 37. If we hear someone say "37," we try to be the first to yell "I'm 37!" I can't wait until it's our 37th birthdays.

"Clerks" introduced more to my life than the number 37. Since watching that black and white masterpiece 12 years ago, I've seen every movie Kevin Smith was associated with including "Vulgar," "A Better Place," and "Big Helium Dog," to just name a few. Hell, I saw "Jersey Girl" 5 times in the theater. I've visited my Graceland - Redbank , NJ . I sat in the swings Ben Affleck and Joey Lauren Adams sat in during "Chasing Amy." I bought porn at the Quikstop. I rifled through the same CDs that Hooper X stood by while talking about how the white man keeps the black man down in "Chasing Amy." I stood in front of Posten's Funeral Home. I went to Vulgarthon and met all my heroes. Heck, on our way out of Jay and Silent Bob's Secret Stash, my friend and I ran into Brian O'Halloran, better known as Dante. (Scored an autograph, of course.) I've seen Kevin Smith do his Q&A's live in Illinois , Indiana , Ohio and Jersey . I can almost recite every joke from the "Evening With Kevin Smith" DVDs. I purchased Kevin's Green Arrow, Spiderman, and Daredevil comics. I even bought a bootleg "Superman Lives" script off eBay to read Kevin's take on the Superman story.

My life would be extremely different without Kevin Smith and his $27,000 masterpiece "Clerks." Thank you, sir!

AIG

I won't confess to knowing much about the stock market. I know enough to be dangerous - to my retirement savings that is. But I recently have opened an eTrade account to play with. I bought some Citigroup stock and made a modest profit. I then decided to roll the dice and bought some AIG. I know that the government has sunk billions of dollars into the company, but come on. Will the government really let this company fail? I bet not. So I want to see $2.00 in the near future for this company. Then I can sell and take a profit. Hopefully, it then drops back down near $1.25 so I can buy back in. Poppa needs some profits! Also, bought some AIG in my TDAmeritrade account, but that's my HSA retirement funds so I'm long on AIG there. Can't worry on day-to-day activity in a portfolio that I want to support me in 30 years.

Random Thoughts After a Crappy Work Week

Tax week sucked. I have a 4 day weekend, but I'm stressed the fuck out so I went to see "I Love You, Man." It was funny as hell. I really related to Jason Segal's character, Sydney. Sometimes I feel like I'm getting left behind by my friends. Most of my Sheboygan buddies are married and have kids. I relate to my Madison friends more, but I spent my way out of Madison. Sometimes when I think of my future, I scare myself with thoughts of loneliness and despair. I hope I meet my soul mate soon. Except I'm too scared to go out and fail. It's a vicious cycle...

I regret many things in life...applying for that first credit card...never getting to beat the crap out of another man...not seeing "The Matrix" in the theater, but the one that really is gnawing at me recently is not asking a certain someone to prom. I love having 10-year-old wounds ripped open. Damn you, Facebook...

I want to buy a Wii, but I'm afraid it'll fall to the wayside quickly. I love playing first-person shooters and the Wii doesn't lend itself to that genre. I have to keep telling myself no...no...no...

I've got the MLB Network channel. It's an awesome channel. I watched "Cathedrals of the Game" regarding Cooperstown. The Baseball Hall of Fame is now on the travel agenda. However, every time I watch the channel, it pisses me off that the NFL and cable providers can't get together on the NFL Network. How fucking hard is it to make a deal? GET IT DONE ALREADY...

I had goal training last week at work. It made me take a look at my life goals. I think I'll sit down and write some before my birthday...

And finally today...please Doug Melvin, go get Jake Peavy. Do what it takes. He's signed through 2012. He won't leave us like that money hungry liar, C.C...

Have a good weekend, folks. Who am I kidding? Nobody else is reading this so... Have a good weekend, Mark.

Lyric Wednesdays - Harvey Danger

Every Wednesday I'm going to post the lyrics to the song that I'm grooving to at the time.

For my first Lyric post, I'm choosing a song I've loved for a long time, but recently found again due to the awesome "Punk Goes Pop: Volume 2" album. I can sing this song as loud as I want. I often switch the words to fit my experiences. It's just a happy-go-lucky song. Every band should aspire to write a song that makes the listener feel the same way after hearing it 500 times as it did after the first time. Harvey Danger succeeded.

So here it is..."Flagpole Sitta" by Harvey Danger off their debut 1998 album "Where Have All the Merrymakers Gone?"

I had visions, I was in them
I was looking into the mirror
To see a little bit clearer
Rottenness and evil in me

Fingertips have memories
Mine can't forget the curves of your body
And when I feel a bit naughty
I run it up the flagpole and see who salutes
(but no one ever does)

I'm not sick but I'm not well
And I'm so hot cause I'm in hell

Been around the world and found
That only stupid people are breeding
The cretins cloning and feeding
And I don't even own a tv

Put me in the hospital for nerves
And then they had to commit me
You told them all I was crazy
They cut off my legs now i'm an amputee, God damn you

I'm not sick but I'm not well
And I'm so hot cause I'm in hell
I'm not sick but I'm not well
And it's a sin to live so well

I wanna publish zines
And rage against machines
I wanna pierce my tongue
It doesn't hurt, it feels fine
The trivial sublime
I'd like to turn off time
And kill my mind
You kill my mind

Paranoia! Paranoia!
Everybody's coming to get me
Just say you never met me
I'm going underground with the moles
Hear the voices in my head
I swear to God it sounds like they're snoring
But if you're bored then you're boring
The agony and the irony, they' re killing me

I'm not sick but I'm not well
And I'm so hot cause I'm in hell
I'm not sick but I'm not well
And it's a sin to live so well.

Inaugural Post

This is my first post on my blog. I hope to entertain no one since I don't have many friends and the ones I do have, do not cruise the internet, let alone blogs. By the way, my XBOX Live gamertag is Lunchbox37. Hit me up with a friend request if you're down for some Battlefield: Bad Company or CoD:MW 2 (When it comes out, of course.) If I remember each week, I am planning on having Movie Mondays and Lyric Wednesdays. So please enjoy my blog, self...as I'm the only one I'm blogging for.