Friday, July 31, 2009

MLB Trading Deadline

So the trading deadline has come and gone and the Milwaukee Brewers did not make a major move. I'm glad Alcides Escobar (below, #71) and Mat Gamel (below, #24) are still Brewers. Claudio Vargas (left) was the only move the Brewers made. It strengthens the bullpen and maybe they can stretch him out and move him into the starting rotation. Plus, the Brew Crew gave up basically nothing for him.

Most fans were spoiled after the C.C. trade. That trade comes about once a decade. For Brewers' fans, once a generation. To put those expectations on Doug Melvin would be unfair...and wrong.

Yes, the Brewers could have mortaged the future for a run at the wild card. So what? The Brewers did that last year. We should keep our prospects. The Brewers might finish 3rd or 4th in the division this year, but at least they'll have a future.

In the offseason, hopefully the Brewers can sign a top of the rotation starter. (Probably not an ace, though. The Brewers don't have Yankee money. I'm a realist not a dreamer.) They should resign Felipe Lopez to a multiyear deal, but DO NOT overpay. Then resign Trevor Hoffman, Jason Kendall and Mike Cameron to 1 year deals. Trade Corey Hart and J.J. Hardy for prospects. And GASP, look into trading Prince Fielder for MULTIPLE STUD PITCHING PROSPECTS ONLY! He's eventually going to leave for more money anyway. This way the Brewers can maximize their return now. And last, but certainly not least, sign Craig Counsell. Give him what he wants. A new Harley? Ask him what color. Lifetime Miller Park seats? Ask him where he wants to sit. He is the sparkplug. The leader. The Wisconsin boy.

So the 2010 Milwaukee Brewers would look like this: C-Jason Kendall, 1B-Mat Gamel, 2B-Felipe Lopez, SS-Alcides Escobar, 3B-Casey McGehee, LF-Ryan Braun, CF-Mike Cameron, and RF-Rickie Weeks. Starting Rotation-Yovani Gallardo, Manny Parra, Dave Bush, Suppan or Looper, and the free agent. The closer once again would be all-time saves leader, Trevor Hoffman.

I could live with that team in 2010. At least it would be competitive. The one thing Doug Melvin has to do is upgrade the pitching...in the majors and the minors. Not doing so would be unforgiveable. Not doing so will probably cost him his job.

Wow. I'm already looking towards 2010. There's still 2 months left. Can the Brewers reach the leaders? Maybe. Will the Brewers slump late in the year like the last few seasons? Probably. Oh well. I still have tickets to 2 more games at Miller Park this year, plus my father/son trip to see the Brew Crew in St. Louis.

Go Brewers!


Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Lyric Wednesdays - The Lonely Island

In honor of Kristen's PARTY at Cedar Lake, I had to use this song. I first saw the VIDEO on Saturday Night Live and I've been hooked ever since. It's funny as shit. Plus, I just found out that Lonely Island put out an album in 2009 called Incredibad. It's awesome. It includes this song plus "Dick in a Box," "Lazy Sunday," "Jizz in my Pants" and Natalie Portman's gangsta rap.

So like Neal screamed as we were partying on Kristen's pontoon, "I'm On a Boat!" I'm on a boat too, mother fucker!

[Intro (T-Pain)]
(Shortayyyy) Aww shit
Get your towels ready it's about to go down (shorty, yeah)
Everybody in the place hit the fuckin deck (shorty, yeah)
But stay on your motherfuckin toes
We runnin this, let's go

[Chorus (T-Pain)]
I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat)
I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat)
Everybody look at me cause I'm sailin on a boat (sailin on a boat)
I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat)
I'm on a boat
Take a good hard look at the motherfuckin boat (boat, yeah)

[The Lonely Island (T-Pain)]
I'm on a boat motherfucker take a look at me
Straight flowin on a boat on the deep blue sea
Bustin five knots, wind whippin out my coat
You can't stop me motherfucker cause I'm on a boat

Take a picture, trick (trick) I'm on a boat, bitch (bitch)
We drinking Santana champ, cause it's so crisp (crisp)
I got my swim trunks, and my flippie-floppies
I'm flippin burgers, you at Kinko's straight flippin copies

I'm ridin on a dolphin, doin flips and shit
The dolphin's splashin, gettin e'rybody all wet
But this ain't Seaworld, this is real as it gets
I'm on a boat motherfucker, don't you ever forget

I'm on a boat and, it's goin fast and
I got a nautical themed pashmina afghan
I'm the king of the world, on a boat like Leo
If you're on the shore, then you're sho' not me-oh
{Get the fuck up, this boat is REAL!!!}

Fuck land, I'm on a boat, motherfucker (motherfucker)
Fuck trees, I climb buoys, motherfucker (motherfucker)
I'm on the deck with my boys, motherfucker (yeah)
This boat engine make noise, motherfucker

Hey ma, if you could see me now (see me now)
Arms spread wide on the starboard bow (starboard bow)
Gonna fly this boat to the moon somehow (moon somehow)
Like Kevin Garnett, anything is possible

[T-Pain]
Yeah, never thought I'd be on a boat
It's a big blue watery road (yeah)
Poseidon~!! Look at me, oh (all hands on deck)
Never thought I'd see the day
When a big boat comin my way
Believe me when I say, I fucked a mermaid

[Chorus]

[T-Pain]
Whoahhh
Sha-sha-shorty, shorty
Yeah yeah yeahhh

Monday, July 27, 2009

Good Bye, Old Friend


My grill fed me at many Packers games at Lambeau, Brewers games at Miller, Mallards games at Werner, grill outs on the deck in Oregon and quick grill outs in the garage in Howards. But today I mourn for her. My grill finally lit it's last fire.

I know it's a grill, but it's more than that to me. To me it is memories. Doug melting the spatula to it in 10 degree weather at Lambeau. Making Matt grill at Miller Park because I was too busy ogling the hots chicks in J.J. Hardy jerseys (and because I bought the cheese brats, damn it.) Ed and I trying to keep it lit while tailgating before the cold, cold, cold Packer playoff games. Chilling at a Mallards game while waiting to get our free beer glass. Having to grill steaks in the snow because my Dad had to work late. Sitting on the deck, bull shitting with Matt with the aroma of grilling brats wafting in the air. Loading it time after time into my truck to start a journey that no one knew how it would end.

It was an end of an era today.

I guess I'm off to Target to buy a new one...and make some new memories.

A Monday at Miller










Doug and I celebrated his 30th birthday at Miller Park. We showed up. Too bad the Brewers did not.

Movie Mondays - Cradle 2 the Grave Edition


I'm a huge Jet Li fan. Figuratively and literally. I've seen all his American movies in the theater and bought DVDs of his early Hong Kong flicks on eBay. (The voiceovers are awesomely bad!) So I was excited to see this movie again. I haven't seen it for a few years. Two things immediately pop out: DMX is a horrible actor and Jet Li is a fucking badass.

"Cradle 2 the Grave" is not a great movie. But it's fun. And it has great action sequences. Jet Li is a Taiwanese police inspector who comes to...really, the plot is not important. This is the movie in a nutshell... opening credits... fighting... talking... fighting... fighting... talking... car chase... fighting... talking... gun battle... action... tank battle... fighting... the end.

If you want a good mind numbing action movie to kill some time and take your mind off life, then "Cradle 2 the Grave" is the choice for you.

My favorite scene? Jet Li vs. the UFC

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Otterson Sister's Party!



I might have gotten too wrecked. Fuck that.

Lonely Island Awesomeness!



I had to post this in honor of Friday night's party at Cedar Lake. It was the first time I've been on a boat since Billy almost killed us all last summer!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

The "Unfathomable" Arrest of a Burned Spy!

MIAMI, Florida (CNN) – Sam Axe owns a 1957 Cadillac in Miami. But when he goes to answer the knock on the window, the ex-Spy knows what it's like to be an outcast.

“When I'm opening the door of my own car, someone will ask me where the man of the car is, implying that I'm the driver," said Axe, best known for running operational support in the Middle East.

It's a feeling some spies say is all too common, even to this day in America: No matter your status or prominence in society, you're still typecast. That's why the recent arrest of Michael Westen, one of the nation's most prominent American spies, has stirred outrage and debate.

Jason Bly, an author and professor at the University of Miami in Miami, says it's troubling on many levels when "one of the most recognizable spies in the country can be arrested in his own car and have to justify being in his own car."

"It's really kind of unfathomable," Bly said. "If it can happen to him, yeah, it can happen to any of us."

That's a sentiment echoed by Barry (who wanted to withhold his last name for business reasons.) "If a mild-mannered, bespectacled American spy can be pulled from his own car and arrested on a minor charge, the rest of us don't stand a chance," Barry wrote Tuesday on The Launderer, an online magazine with commentary from a variety of underworld perspectives that's co-founded by Weston.
"We all fit a description. We are all suspects."

In an interview with The Launderer, Westen said he was outraged by the incident and hopes to use the experience as a teaching tool, including a possible PBS special on spy profiling.

"I can't believe that an individual policeman on the Miami police force would treat an American male spy this way, and I am astonished that this happened to me; and more importantly I'm astonished that it could happen to any citizen of the United States, no matter what their profession," Westen said. "And I'm deeply resolved to do and say the right things so that this cannot happen again."

Westen was arrested last Sunday in broad daylight in his Dodge Charger, for operating while intoxicated -- what the arresting officer described as "loud and tumultuous behavior in a public space." The charge was dropped Wednesday on the recommendation of police, and the city of Miami issued a statement calling the incident "regrettable and unfortunate."

Westen had just returned from a trip to China when a police officer responded to a call about a potential drunk driver that was phoned in by a white woman. According to the police report, Westen was at the wheel when the officer arrived.

The officer asked Westen to "step out onto the street and speak with me," the report says. "[Westen] replied, 'No, I will not.' He then demanded to know who I was. I told him that I was 'Detective Paxson from the Miami Police' and that I was 'investigating a report of a drunk driver' in this car.

"While I was making this statement, Westen opened the driver’s door and exclaimed, 'Why, because I'm a spy in America?' "

According to the report, Westen initially refused to show the officer his identification, instead asking for the officer's ID. But Westen eventually did show the officer his identification that included his home address.

"The police report says I was engaged in loud and tumultuous behavior. That's a joke," Westen told The Launderer. "It escalated as follows: I kept saying to her, 'What is your name, and what is your badge number?' and she refused to respond. I asked her three times, and she refused to respond. And then I said, 'You're not responding because I'm a spy, and you're only a police officer.'"

Known as Mike by friends and colleagues, Westen is a burned American spy and an acclaimed humanitarian.

While Westen's arrest lit up talk radio and blogs, it prompted others to defend the police against charges of spy profiling.

"I'd be glad if somebody called the police if somebody was driving drunk," neighbor Virgil Watkins told CNN affiliate WDOH.

For others, the incident symbolized something more. Seeing the police mugshot of Westen brought some spies to near tears.

Fiona Glenanne, a Miami gun runner, cultural commentator and blogger, said she grew numb when she saw the mug shot.

"I was not prepared for that," she said. "To see one of my heroes in a mug shot was not something that I was expecting. ... It just tells me we're not in a post-spy society."

She said there's a reason why you don't hear about prominent non spies arrested in their cars: "because it doesn't happen."

It's time for America to have a long overdue national conversation about spies, Glenanne said. "When are we going to have that," she said. "When are we really going to sit down and strip down and say, 'This is what I feel about you and this is what you feel about me. Now, how are we going to get over that?' "

Phillip Cowen, an award-winning author, said the arrest was devastating to scholars, writers, and artists "who work so hard to keep a free flow of information."

"It seems eerily ironic Mr. Westen was returning from China, where surveillance is so high and freedom of speech and ideas so curtailed," Cowen said. "To see the mug shot of Mike was a blow to all of us who feel some sense of safety based on our work to try to mend all of these broken fences in America -- to make ourselves into people who refuse to be limited by profession and class and gender and everything else."

"To end up, at the end of the day, treated like a criminal, unjustly stripped of our accomplishments and contributions even if only for a moment, are profoundly disturbing. We must ask ourselves what it means, and to allow ourselves to face various scenarios regarding power and freedom and how these will intersect in the coming years."

Last week, President Obama spoke at the 100th anniversary of the C.I.A., saying that while spies have made great strides "the pain of discrimination is still felt in America."

"Even as we inherit extraordinary progress that cannot be denied; even as we marvel at the courage and determination of so many plain folks -- we know that too many barriers still remain," the President said.

Axe, the ex-Spy, said Obama "has affected a change in people's consciousness regarding such issues as profession and prejudice." But he said the arrest of Westen underscores that there's more work ahead.

"I think we're moving in the right direction. But no doubt, there still is a lot of work to be done," Axe said. "It's not just a problem here. It's a problem worldwide. Spies are universal."

Westen said he has a newfound understanding of exactly what that means. "There's been a very important symbolic change and that is the election of Barack Obama," he told The Launderer. "But the only spies who truly live in a post-spy world in America all live in a very nice house on 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue."

(To truly understand and appreciate this post, please read THIS and THIS.)

Lyric Wednesdays - The Verve

The song is off The Verve's 1997 album "Urban Hymns."

I had not heard the song until this season's premiere of "Entourage." If Vince can be good looking, rich and powerful, but still alone, what hope is there for the rest of us?

I need to remember that amongst all my gripes and complaints about my life, I am a "Lucky Man."

Happiness
More or less
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Oh, my, my
Happiness
Coming and going
I watch you look at me
Watch my fever growing
I know just where I am

But how many corners do I have to turn?
How many times do I have to learn
All the love I have is in my mind?

But I'm a lucky man
With fire in my hands

Happiness
Something in my own place
I'm stood here naked
Smiling, I feel no disgrace
With who I am

Happiness
Coming and going
I watch you look at me
Watch my fever growing
I know just who I am

But how many corners do I have to turn?
How many times do I have to learn
All the love I have is in my mind?

I hope you understand
I hope you understand

Gotta love that'll never die

Happiness
More or less
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Happiness
Coming and going
I watch you look at me
Watch my fever growing
I know
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my

Gotta love that'll never die
Gotta love that'll never die
No, no
I'm a lucky man

It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Free Michael Westen!



THIS
is bullshit!

Everyone knows he was undercover trying to infiltrate the Miami Police Department to expose corruption. While Michael was being "arrested," Sam and Fiona were searching the cop's car for evidence.

Free Michael Westen!

Monday, July 20, 2009

Movie Mondays - Watchmen


I FINALLY saw "Watchmen." I hate myself for not seeing it in theaters. It is awesome. It is a masterpiece. I cannot wait for the sequel.

Zack Synder is a genius! First, he remade "Dawn of the Dead" and ramped up the tension. Bitch, get out the room! Next, he brought us "300." A great movie in it's own right. Then, along comes the "Watchmen." Did I mention he was a genius? And he's a Wisconsin boy to boot. I have to support the dude.

This movie was based on a graphic novel written by the great Alan Moore, of V for Vendetta fame. Great. Now, I have to spend some more money to buy the comics.

Damn you, "Watchmen!" Why did you have to be so great?

Saturday, July 18, 2009

My Life According to Coldplay!


Using only song names from ONE ARTIST/BAND, I cleverly answered these questions.

Pick your Artist:
Coldplay

Are you a male or female?
"Moses"

Describe yourself:
"A Rush of Blood to the Head"

How do you feel:
"Lost!"

Describe where you currently live:
"In My Place"

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
"Postcards from Far Away"

Your favorite form of transportation:
"Parachutes

Your best friend is:
"Brothers & Sisters"

What's the weather like:
"Rainy Day"

Favorite time of day:
"Daylight"

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
"Death and All His Friends"

What is life to you:
"Help Is Round the Corner"

Your fear:
"Swallowed in the Sea"

What is the best advice you have to give:
"Careful Where You Stand"

Thought for the Day:
"Fix You"

How I would like to die:
"Gravity"

My soul's present condition:
"Low"

My motto:
"Viva la Vida"

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

My How the Mighty Have Fallen

Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a stroll in town one day.

As they walk, they come across a sign: “Contest: Looking for the most beautiful woman in the world.” “I’m entering!” said Snow White.

After the contest she comes out and they ask her, “Well, how’d ya do?” “First Place!” said Snow White. They continue walking and they see a sign: “Contest: Looking for the strongest man in the world.” “I’m entering,” says Superman.

After the contest he returns and they ask him, “How did you make out?” “First Place,” answers Superman. “Was there any doubt?” They continue walking until they see yet another sign: “Contest! Who is the greatest liar in the world?” Naturally, Pinocchio enters.

After the contest he returns with tears in his eyes. “What happened?” they asked. “I came in 2nd; who the hell is this Brett Favre, anyway?” asked Pinocchio.

2009 MLB All-Star Game


Well, the All-Star game is over with the American League winning 4-3. How did the Brewer representatives do? So-so. Ryan Braun did not do anything special. He started and lasted until the 6th when he was pulled for a pinch hitter. Trevor Hoffman pitched 1 inning. He only had to throw 5 pitches to get 3 outs. Prince was robbed. His game experience? 1 pinch hit at-bat. That's it. He made the most of it though. He hit a ground-rule double (above) to drive in the National League's 3rd run.

Ryan Braun: 0-2, Ground out, Fly out

Prince Fielder: 1-1, Double, RBI

Trevor Hoffman: 1 Inning, 1 Hit, 1 Fly out, 1 Double Play Ground Out

Softball Team Names

My buddy Doug is putting together a team for Sheboygan's annual Toys for Tots softball tournament. He asked for me to come up with some team names. I don't think he's got the balls to pick any of these, but here's the list I put together for him with my favorites at the end. (I had some help from my co-workers on a few, which are marked with an asterisk.)

  • R. Kelly's Golden Club VIPs*
  • Honey Nut Ichiros*
  • The Softball Guys
  • The Rorschach Tests
  • The Player's Club
  • Ricky Bobby All-Stars
  • The Jihadists
  • Tom Cruise Fan Club
  • 10 Guys, a Ball and a Dream
  • Doug's Juiced Balls*
  • Sheboygan's Most Wanted (Only if they wear orange jerseys though)
  • The Awkwards*
  • Muggles
  • Deadly Justice League
  • C.O.B.R.A.
  • Meat Bats*
  • Purple Headed Slow Pitch Slingers
  • Michael Jackson Reincarnates
  • The Roundabouts
  • The Floaters
  • Singles for a Day*
  • Barney's Purple Army
  • Mighty Morphin Power Hitters
  • Unsettling Settlers*
  • Shockingly Poignants*
  • The Pete Rose Charlie Hustle All-Stars
  • Towers of Powers
  • Middle Aged Adolescents
  • Recovering Stalkers
  • Asylum Escapees
  • Ginger Gang
  • Quahog Supremacists
  • The Johns
  • Hurt Sticks
  • Fully Clothed Nudists
  • Silent Assassins*
  • Temporarily Singles
  • The Barry White Experience*
Runner Up: The Hung Like a Curveballs

Favorite: The Guys Outside Your Bedroom Window

Lyric Wednesdays - Inner Circle

Due to some unforeseen circumstances (Michael Jackson and Steve McNair's passing) the last few weeks, I did not complete my goal of back-to-back Lyric Wednesdays that pay tribute to my only two friends that consistently ask me to do things.

This week's entry is a tribute to Doug. If you know Doug, you know why this song represents him to a T. It is also the ringtone when he calls me.

The song is most notably known as the theme song for "Cops," but it originally could be found on Inner Circle's 1987 album "One Way."

So put your back to wall and prepare for the "Bad Boys."

CHORUS:
Bad boys, bad boys
Whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do
When they come for you
(Repeat)

Bad boys
Whatcha want, watcha want
Whatcha gonna do
When sheriff John Brown come for you
Tell me
Whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna dooo
Yeaheah

CHORUS

When you were eight
And you had bad traits
You go to school
And learn the golden rule
So why are you
Acting like a bloody fool
If you get hot
You must get cool

CHORUS

You chuck it on that one
You chuck it on this one
You chuck it on your mother and
You chuck it on your father
You chuck it on your brother and
You chuck it on your sister
You chuck it on that one and
You chuck it on me

CHORUS
(Repeat)

Nobody naw give you no break
Police naw give you no break
Soldier naw give you no break
Not even you idren naw give you no break
Hehe

CHORUS
(Repeat)

Why did you have to act so mean
Don'T you know you're human being
Born of a mother with the love of a father
Reflections come and reflections go
I know sometimes you want to let go
Hehehe
I know sometimes you want to let go

CHORUS
(Repeat)
-You're too bad, you're too cool-
-You're too bad, you're too cool-
(Repeat)

You chuck it on that one
You chuck it on this one
You chuck it on your mother and
You chuck it on your father
You chuck it on your brother and
You chuck it on your sister
You chuck it on that one and
You chuck it on me

CHORUS
(repeat to the end)

Monday, July 13, 2009

Congratulations, Prince!



That was an amazing display of power especially the 497 and 503 foot blasts. Thanks for making the Brew Crew fans proud! I really enjoyed the Ryan Braun celebration and the customary jersey untucking. Way to stick it to those stuck up Cardinal fans. Hey, Cardinal fans...where's your Pujols now?

What is Wrong with this Picture?


It pains me to see two ex-Brewers earn spots in the All-Star game. Nelson Cruz would look awesome in the Brew Crew outfield this year and Francisco Cordero would definitely be a boost to the bullpen.

Hindsight is 20/20 though. I do not fault Melvin much. He offered Cordero a comparable contract to stay. So no fault there. However, Nelson Cruz had to be included to get Cordero and Mench. (Are you fucking kidding me? Kevin Mench? I hope he's enjoying the Japan leagues.) Nonetheless, Texas did place Cruz on waivers so the Brewers could have gotten him back for nothing. That was a missed opportunity.

Cordero pulled a Steve Miller Band and took the money and ran so fuck him. He left a contender for the Reds. (Really? The Reds? Obviously, winning was not a requirement for you.) You can take your 40 million dollars, you're hollow stats, the Reds 90 plus losses and then go fuck yourself. Cruz? I can only imagine a murderers row of Braun-Fielder-Cruz. That 3-4-5 would be comparable to the best of all-time. Yes. Best. Of. All. Time.

Movie Mondays - Get Smart Edition


"Get Smart" is one of the only movies I've ever watched then immediately watched again. Anne Hathaway is at her sexy best and Steve Carrell might be the funniest man in movies now. Put that all together, sprinkle in some action, toss in a great Bill Murray cameo and serve with scenes shot around the world. That is the recipe for a great movie.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Saturday Night at the Park

Gotcha Bitch...Again...Again!


After the FIRST time it happened, I did not think it would happen again. After the SECOND time it happened, I was positive his tags were not going to be taken again. I seem to be wrong a lot. Murda, can you hear me? Gotcha Bitch!

Retard - The Term

For some reason I am comfortable calling my friends "Retards" or when they do something stupid, I say that was "Retarded." However, when I see someone who is actually mentally handicapped, I cannot say it. I just feel bad and ashamed to use that term.

Maybe this is proof that I have a soul...maybe.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Lyric Wednesdays - Simon and Garfunkel

In wake of a few sports idols sullying their reputation recently, I have decided this week's lyrics entry will be the classic Simon and Garfunkel tune off their 1968 album "Bookends." It is a tune that I have listened to since I was knee high to a grasshopper. (Thanks to the AM radio in the Granada.)

With Steve McNair's torrid love affairs popping up and Brett Favre contemplating whether or not to wear purple, which everyone knows he will, where have you gone Joe DiMaggio?
So here's to you, Mrs. Robinson...

And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson
Jesus loves you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
God bless you please, Mrs. Robinson
Heaven holds a place for those who pray
(Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey)

We'd like to know a little bit about you for our files
We'd like to help you learn to help yourself
Look around you, all you see are sympathetic eyes
Stroll around the grounds until you feel at home

And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson
Jesus loves you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
God bless you please, Mrs. Robinson
Heaven holds a place for those who pray
(Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey)

Hide it in a hiding place where no one ever goes
Put it in your pantry with your cupcakes
It's a little secret, just the Robinsons' affair
Most of all, you've got to hide it from the kids

Coo, coo, ca-choo, Mrs Robinson
Jesus loves you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
God bless you please, Mrs. Robinson
Heaven holds a place for those who pray
(Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey)

Sitting on a sofa on a Sunday afternoon
Going to the candidates debate
Laugh about it, shout about it
When you've got to choose
Ev'ry way you look at it, you lose

Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio
A nation turns its lonely eyes to you (Woo, woo, woo)
What's that you say, Mrs. Robinson
Joltin' Joe has left and gone away
(Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey)

Monday, July 6, 2009

Movie Mondays - Yes Man Edition


"Yes Man" was the right movie to watch at the right time. I was feeling down. I bit blue. I decided on a comedy. Good choice. Jim Carrey is at his comedic best. (Not physical comedy like "Ace Ventura," but subtle comedy that brings smiles and laughs, not juvenile chuckles.) The whole movie oozes charm. It was a great pick-me-up at a time when I needed it.

Plus, Zooey I-Can't-Spell-Or-Say-Her-Last-Name is attractive in a I want to marry you and ravage our bodies together for an eternity kind of way. And her voice is amazing!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Gamerscore Whoring Final Tally


So my MONTH of gamerscore whoring is over. How did I do? So-so.

My goal for June was to get an achievement a day. I met my goal easily. There were only 5 days when I earned a single achievement.

My secondary goals were to earn 20,000 points and finish 10 games. I did not achieve either. An epic fail! I only added 19,575 points bringing my total score to 25,505. I missed finishing 10 games by only 1 game. I completed 8 retail and 1 arcade game. It should have been easy to complete 10 games; however, in 2K Sports infinite wisdom, they shut down the servers for every game that did not have 2k9 in the title. Bullshit!

On a side note, I am also now at 70 consecutive days played on my 360. My old streak was 63. I'm shooting for 100. Wish me luck!

I did have big scare when it came to continuing my streak. On June 16th, Microsoft took XBOX Live offline for 24+ hours for maintenance. Luckily, I did play offline that day plus 360voice.com erased that day from existence so it would not effect anyone's streak.

So here is my final gamerscore tally:
Achievements Earned: 513 (17.1 achievements per day)
Points Earned: 19,575 (652.5 points per day)
Biggest Achievement Day: June 30 (125 achievements)
Biggest Point Day: June 27 (4,240 points)
Finished Games: 9
  • Madden 08
  • NCAA March Madness 07
  • NCAA March Madness 08
  • NCAA Basketball MME (Arcade)
  • NBA 2k6
  • College Hoops 2k6
  • MLB 2k6
  • Avatar: TLA: TBE
  • Fight Night Round 3
June 1st Gamerscore - 5,960
June 30th Gamerscore - 25,505

Final Thoughts...I think the month was fun. However, I am glad that I do not whore everyday anymore. It was long and tedious. Although, there is nothing better than hearing the "ding" of an achievement pop. I will do it again next year, but I will savor the time in between. Plus, with Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 and Battlefield: Bad Company 2 dropping by the end of the year, I will not have much time for whoring.

Thinking back, maybe June was not the greatest month for my whoring adventure. There were a few days when I did not have time to play much. Three different Brewers games, Father's Day, and Doug's 30th birthday all took time away. Next year I'll plan better. Plus, Battlefield: Bad Company monopolized most of my time. It was hard to say no when Murda texted "Wanna kill?" Some days, bitches just need to be killed.

I also wanted to make the point that I did not use game saves or SPGs. I was tempted as the clock ticked down, but then I realized that the only person I'd be cheating was myself. I'd rather fail honestly then succeed with cheats.

On a lighter note, my first achievement in June was "King of the Hill" in MLB 2k9. My last achievement was "Press START to Play" in The Simpsons Game. It was the easiest achievement...ever. No, really. The game told me it was.

In the meantime, I can FINALLY leave the house! W00T! W00T!

Lyric Wednesdays - Michael Jackson

In the wake of Michael's untimely death, I decided to make this week's entry my favorite Michael song. It was off his 1982 mega-hit album, "Thriller."

I love this song for many reasons. One, it was made into one of Weird Al's greatest parody songs. Two, we danced to it at my sister's wedding. We split into two lines and took turns dancing down the middle of the rows. When it was Jeff's turn, he leaned back on one hand, hopped down the row and air-slapped the ugly chick's ass in front of him. Arguably my favorite moment during the reception. Third, it's just a great song that puts me in a good mood every time I hear it.

So if you're feeling down after a crappy day at work, just "Beat It."

They told him don't you ever come around here
Don't wanna see your face, you better disappear
The fire's in their eyes and their words are really clear
So beat it, just beat it

You better run, you better do what you can
Don't wanna see no blood, don't be a macho man (Uh)
You wanna be tough, better do what you can
So beat it, but you wanna be bad

Just beat it (beat it) beat it (beat it)
No one wants to be defeated
Showin' how funky strong it's your fight
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right
Just beat it, beat it
Just beat it, beat it
Just beat it, beat it
Just beat it, beat it

Uh!

They're out to get you, better leave while you can
Don't wanna be a boy, you wanna be a man
You wanna stay alive, better do what you can
So beat it, just beat it (Uh)

You have to show them that you're really not scared (Uh)
You're playin' with your life, this ain't no truth or dare (Uh)
They'll kick you, then they beat you,
Then they'll tell you it's fair
So beat it, but you wanna be bad

Just beat it (beat it), beat it (beat it)
No one wants to be defeated
Showin' how funky strong it's your fight
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right

CHORUS
Just beat it (beat it) beat it (beat it)
No one wants to be defeated
Showin' how funky strong it's your fight
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right
Just beat it

Beat it (beat it) beat it (beat it)
No one wants to be defeated
Showin' how funky strong it's your fight
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right
(Oooh, right!)
(Wooohooo)

Just beat it (beat it) beat it (beat it)
No one wants to be defeated (Oh, lord)
Showin' how funky (Eeh, eeh) strong it's your fight (Eeh, eeh)
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right

Just beat it (beat it) beat it (beat it)
No one wants to be defeated (Oh, no)
Showin' how funky (Eeh, eeh) strong it's your fight (Eeh, eeh)
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right

Just beat it (beat it) beat it (beat it)
No one wants to be defeated
Showin' how funky strong it's your fight
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right (Who’s wrong)
Just beat it (beat it) (Wooohooo)
Beat it, beat it, beat it