Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Gamerscore Whoring Scorecard (Second Half)

I'll keep this updated throughout my month of trying to increase my gamerscore (a.k.a. whoring!) This scorecard will cover the second half of June.

Day With Most Achievements - June 30 (125 achievements)

Day With Most Points - June 27 (4,240 points)

June 16 - 13,960 points - Added: 800 points - To Goal: 11,975 points
NCAA March Madness 07 (16 for 800)

June 17 - 13,970 points - Added: 10 points - To Goal: 11,965 points
Pinball FX (1 for 10)

June 18 - 13,980 points - Added: 10 points - To Goal: 11,955 points
Pac-Man (2 for 10)

June 19 - 13,990 points - Added: 10 points - To Goal: 11,945 points
Pac-Man (1 for 10)

June 20 - 14,000 points - Added: points - To Goal: 11,935 points
3D Ultra Minigolf (1 for 10)

June 21 - 14,040 points - Added: 40 points - To Goal: 11,895 points
Golden Axe (4 for 40)

June 22 - 16,040 points - Added: 2,000 points - To Goal: 9,895 points
MLB 2k6 (5 for 1,000)
Avatar: TLA: TBE (5 for 1,000)

June 23 - 16,100 points - Added: 60 points - To Goal: 9,835 points
Track and Field (5 for 60)

June 24 - 16,105 points - Added: 5 points - To Goal: 9,830 points
Ms. Pac-Man (1 for 5)

June 25 - 16,810 points - Added: 710 points - To Goal: 9,120 points
NBA Live 07 (11 for 700)
Switchball (1 for 5)

June 26 - 17,010 points - Added: 200 points - To Goal: 8,920 points
NBA Live 07 (3 for 200)

June 27 - 21,250 points - Added: 4,240 points - To Goal: 4,680 points
College Hoops 2k6 (5 for 1,000)
NBA Live 06 (11 for 960)
NBA 2k9 (40 for 770)
NHL 2k6 (4 for 750)
NHL 2k7 (10 for 510)
NHL 07 (7 for 250)

June 28 - 21,325 points - Added: 75 points - To Goal: 4,605 points
NHL 07 (3 for 75)

June 29 - 21,585 points - Added: 260 points - To Goal: 4,345 points
NCAA March Madness 07 (3 for 60)
NHL 07 (6 for 200)

June 30 - 25,505 points - Added: 3,920 points - To Goal: 425 points
Fight Night Round 3 (8 for 1,000)
College Hoops 2k7 (12 for 225)
College Hoops 2k8 (17 for 530)
Madden 06 (10 for 600)
Madden 07 (24 for 355)
NCAA Football 07 (28 for 490)
NCAA Football 08 (12 for 215)
Jumper (6 for 300)
NHL 08 (7 for 200)
The Simpsons Game (1 for 5)

Monday, June 29, 2009

The Mets at Miller

Movie Mondays - Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Edition


I do NOT understand all the Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen hate. It seems as though every critic and non-fanboy hates it...with a passion.

I imagine Michael Bay as Russell Crowe's character in "Gladiator." He's standing in the coliseum in front of all his critics and haters, yelling "Are you not entertained?"

That's what this movie is - entertainment. It's not Citizen Kane. It's not even trying to be. It's laugh out loud funny. It has huge explosions. It has Transformers battling each other to the death. And of course, it has Megan Fox. Ooooh, Megan my lovely.

Transformers is a fun movie.

Here is how I described it to Matt..."Imagine for a second that Megan Fox fucked another Megan Fox and they had a daughter and then Scarlett Johansson fucked Natalie Portman and they had a daughter. Then the Megan Fox daughter and the Scarlett/Natalie daughter fucked and they had a daughter. That kid would be "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen."

Enough said.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Lyric Wednesdays - Three 6 Mafia

I've decided to make the next two Lyric Wednesdays in honor of the only two friends that consistently want to do things with me. I have other friends that I do things with, but 9 times out of 10 I'm the one having to initiate it.

This week's entry is a Three 6 Mafia song that Murda was rolling up to when he drove down to Madison to hang with Matt and I. It is now his ringtone when he calls or texts, which he does often. Usually to ask if I want to kill. When Murda and I are rolling on the Battlefield, it is a sight to behold.

The song is off the Oscar-Award winning group Three 6 Mafia's 2006 album, "Most Known Unknown."

So what does Murda say right before he knifes someone in Battlefield? Let's Plan a Robbery!

Lets plan a robbery, (a robbery) (lets go...)
Lets plan a robbery (a robbery)
Lets plan a robbery, (a robbery) (lets go...)
Lets plan a robbery (a robbery)

See I was on the North, North side in the projects cutterfield
And dats where the the dope dealer nigga really live
See they sold crack, and they sold weed too
They specialize in cooking up the dope food
To get it out, so the junkies can smoke too
But me my nigga, I been smoking out chu
And you ain't you cause yall been cutting up du
I think I'ma have to touch ur ass with a tool
Its easy come easy go yall know the rule
HCP motherfucker you know I'll cut loose
And if you got it, I'ma have to touch you
Like knocking on your door and holla trick-or-treat fool
Its Halloween motherfucker, don't let this motherfucker sight you
A robbery to a muderery dance clue
So any way that you want it, I got chu
Its one way hallway nigga, so fuck you

Lets plan a robbery, (a robbery) (lets go...)
Lets plan a robbery (a robbery)
Lets plan a robbery, (a robbery) (lets go...)
Lets plan a robbery (a robbery)

(chorus continues with next part)

You see Im good with this yay, but im better with these guns
Im at your door to collect these funds

You see Im good with this yay, but im better with these guns
Im at your door to collect these funds...

(chorus ends)

I ran up in his spot, with the glock, his jaw dropped
he knew I came for money and da weight I heard he got
I cracked him in the middle of his face with da tone
tied his ass up and ransacked his home
I had to rape his bitch cuz da hoe was stacked
I fucked her from the back, with my gun to her back
I vamped up out his crib, with dolla and purple hair
but eventually got caught becuz of a dick hair (fuck!)

Dont let me find out that you got that dope
dont let me find out that you snitchin on folks
dont let me find out that you tryna get rich
ridin round' da fuckin' hood and they found a niggas shit
dont let me find out, feds tap a nigga phone
dont let me find out, cuz if I find out its on
dont let me find out that niggas sellin purple drank
cuz imma rob all dem fools, like I robbed 20 banks, yeh!

Lets plan a robbery, (a robbery) (lets go...)
Lets plan a robbery (a robbery)
Lets plan a robbery, (a robbery) (lets go...)
Lets plan a robbery (a robbery)

(chorus continues with next part)

You see Im good with this yay, but im better with these guns
Im at your door to collect these funds

You see Im good with this yay, but im better with these guns
Im at your door to collect these funds...

(chorus ends)

o-right
o-o-o-right
o-right
o-o-o-right
o-right
o-o-o-right

Monday, June 22, 2009

Movie Mondays - Finding Forrester Edition


This is one of my favorite movies. "Finding Forrester" is a movie about redemption, finding yourself, putting faith in a stranger and staying true to oneself. It is a touching movie, directed by a true artist, Gus Van Sant.

Other than all those great things, why do I love "Finding Forrester?" It inspired me to write. When a movie inspires someone then it is a great movie.

"Finding Forrester" is a great movie.

Gotcha Bitch...Again!


After the LAST time I got Murda, I did not think it would happen again. I was wrong.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Lyric Wednesdays - The Allman Brothers Band

I was feeling a bit down this week so I choose the latest entry off The Allman Brothers Band's 1994 album, Where It All Begins.

This song is great to crank to 11 while driving around in my truck. It is the perfect pick-me-up when I'm feeling crappy. Like when friends blow me off or financial issues got me down or when I feel like I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life.

Sometimes it feels that there is "No One to Run With..."

Everybody wants to know where Jimmy has gone
He left town, I doubt if he's coming back home

Well Tony got a job, three kids and a lovely wife
Working at the commerce bank for the rest of his life

[Chorus]
Nobody left to run with anymore
Nobody left to do the crazy things we used to do before
Nobody left to run with anymore

I'm gonna hit the road, adios my friend
Go someplace and start all over again

Don't know where I'm going, like a gypsy out on the road
I'll go someplace and join a traveling show

[Chorus]
Nobody left to run with anymore
Nobody wants to do the crazy things we used to do before
Nobody left to run with anymore

Nobody left to run with anymore
Nobody left to run with anymore


I think Jimmy must have had the right idea
Packed his stuff and he got right out of here

I don't know where he's at but I'm sure that he's ok
Now I realize what Jimmy was trying to say

[Chorus]
Nobody left to run with anymore
Nobody wants to do the crazy things we used to do before
Nobody left to run with anymore

Nobody left to run with anymore
Nobody left to run with anymore

Monday, June 15, 2009

Gamerscore Whoring Scorecard (First Half)

I'll keep this updated throughout my month of trying to increase my gamerscore (a.k.a. whoring!) This scorecard will cover the first half of June.

Day With Most Achievements - June 13 (82 achievements)

Day With Most Points - June 13 (2,535 points)

June 1 - 6,070 points - Added: 110 points - To Goal: 19,890 points
MLB 2k9 (2 for 15)
NCAA March Madness 2008 (5 for 95)

June 2 - 6,585 points - Added: 115 points - To Goal: 19,375 points
NCAA March Madness 2008 (12 for 515)

June 3 - 6,625 points - Added: 40 points - To Goal: 19,335 points
Tetris Splash (4 for 40)

June 4 - 6, 650 points - Added: 50 points - To Goal: 19,285 points
Frogger (2 for 25)

June 5 - 6,980 points - Added: 330 points - To Goal: 18,955 points
MLB 2k8 (17 for 330)

June 6 - 8,205 points - Added: 1,225 points - To Goal: 17,730points
MLB 2k8 (5 for 140)
MLB 2k9 (5 for 85)
Madden 08 (48 for 1,000)

June 7 - 8,820 points - Added: 615 points - To Goal: 17,115 points
MLB 2k7 (16 for 615)

June 8 - 8,845 points - Added: 25 points - To Goal: 17,090 points
NCAA Basketball MME (1 for 25)

June 9 - 9,020 points - Added: 175 points - To Goal: 16,915 points
NCAA Basketball MME (3 for 175)

June 10 - 9,420 points - Added: 400 points - To Goal: 16,515 points
NCAA March Madness 08 (8 for 390)
Wolfenstein 3D (1 for 10)

June 11 - 9,470 points - Added: 50 points - To Goal: 16,465 points
Wolfenstein 3D (3 for 50)

June 12 - 9,485 points - Added: 15 points - To Goal: 16,450 points
Sonic the Hedgehog (2 for 15)

June 13 - 12,020 points - Added: 2,535 points - To Goal: 13,915 points
NBA 2k6 (5 for 1,000)
NBA 2k7 (40 for 820)
NBA 2k8 (37 for 715)

June 14 - 13,020 points - Added: 1,000 points - To Goal: 12,915 points
NBA Live 08 (26 for 1,000)

June 15 - 13,160 points - Added: 140 points - To Goal: 12,775 points
NCAA March Madness 07 (6 for 140)

Movie Mondays - Sex Drive Edition


"Sex Drive" is a funny road trip, romantic, buddy comedy. It is definitely worth a look. But why did I make it this week's entry? That's simple.

On the unrated version, the screenwriters warn you to watch the rated version first. And they are not joking. The unrated version is cut with green screen hotties, Photoshopped penises and blooper clips. It is definitely the version to get, but watch the rated version first. It's coherent. Coherent and funny.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

When Is a Friend, No Longer a Friend?

What does a friend have to do to no longer be considered a friend? How many times must one invite a friend to do something and he declines before one no longer asks? How many lies must one be told before all trust is gone? How awkward do situations have to get until one stops being around the friend? How many times does a friend have to disappoint another before he no longer is a friend?

I'm guessing that if I'm asking the questions, I already know the answers.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Lyric Wednesdays - Tina Turner

This week's entry is in honor of my sister and her birthday. I asked her what her favorite song is and she said this Tina Turner classic off Tina's 1989 "Foreign Affair" album. It is fitting since she is the best sister in the world.

Kristy, you're "Simply The Best!"

I call you when I need you, my heart's on fire
You come to me, come to me wild and wired
Mmm, you come to me
Give me everything I need
Give me a lifetime of promises and a world of dreams
Speak a language of love like you know what it means
Mmm, it can't be wrong
Take my heart and make it strong, baby

You're simply the best, better than all the rest
Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met
I'm stuck on your heart, I hang on every word you say
Tear us apart no, no, baby, I would rather be dead

In your heart I see the star of every night and every day
In your eyes I get lost, I get washed away
Just as long as I'm here in your arms
I could be in no better place

You're simply the best, better than all the rest
Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met
I'm stuck on your heart, I hang on every word you say
Tear us apart no, no, baby, I would rather be dead

Each time you leave me I start losing control
You're walking away with my heart and my soul
I can feel you even when I'm alone
Oh baby, don't let go

Ooh you're the best (woo)
Better than all the rest
Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met
Ooh, I'm stuck on your heart

I hang on every word you say
Don't tear us apart no, no, no
Baby, I would rather be dead
Oooh, you're the best!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

My Ode to "B"


I need to get something off my chest. I do not like "B." In fact, I despise her. I loathe her being.

And if you must know why, here goes...

She is a vulgar little maggot, a worthless bag of filth. She couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the instructions on the heel. She is a canker, a sore that won't go away.

She is degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing she exists. I despise everything about her. She is a bloody nard less twit protohominid chromosomally aberrant caricature of a coprophagic cloacal parasitic pond scum, and I wish she would go away.

She is a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. She is a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. She is a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Her life is a monument to stupidity. She is a stench, a revulsion, a putrefaction, a big suck on a sour lemon with a lime twist.

She is a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying her alleged birth into this world; an insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts that spawned her and then killed themselves in regret for what they had done.

I will never get over the utter feelings of debasement from belonging to the same species as “B.” She is a monster, an ogre, a malformation. I barf at the very thought of her. She has all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid her. She is vile, worthless, less than nothing. She is a weed, a fungus, a ferment, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention that she smells?

If she isn't an idiot, she is making a world-class effort at simulating one.

She is a snail-skulled little twit. Would that a hawk pick her up, drive its beak into her brain, and upon finding it rancid set her loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of her ignoble blood. May she choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of her own trite, foolish beliefs.

She is weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. She is grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. She is foul and disgusting. She is a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on her. Even sheep won't have sex with her. Her hand even refuses autoerotism. She is unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.

And yet she expects her delusional self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have meaning with us. She blindly fantasizes that her tiny-fisted tantrums have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake.

She is a waste of flesh. She has no rhythm. She is ridiculous and obnoxious. She is the moral equivalent of a leech. She is a living emptiness, a meaningless void. She is sour and senile. She is a disease; a puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meat slapper.

On a good day she’s a half-wit. She reminds me of drool. She is deficient in all that lends character. She has the personality of wallpaper. She is dank and filthy. She is asinine and benighted. She is the source of all unpleasantness. She spreads misery and sorrow wherever she goes.

I cannot believe how incredibly stupid she is. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid. So stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. She is trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularly stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on the warm side of Mercury stupid. She emits more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Her life must be blatant trolling, for nothing in our universe can really be that stupid. Perhaps she is some primordial fragment from the original Big Bang of Stupid; some pure essence of stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me.

If I traded “B” for shit, I would probably have to throw in a six-pack of warm Pabst Blue Ribbon just to make it an even deal.

Other than that, I have no problem with the girl.

Celebrating a Birthday at Miller Park

Happy Birthday, Kristy!

Monday, June 8, 2009

Movie Mondays - Fanboys Edition


After this shot, why would you not want to see "Fanboys?"

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Lyric Wednesdays - Malvina Reynolds

In honor of the new season of "Weeds" beginning, this week's entry is it's wonderfully catchy theme song. "Weeds" is a great show that more people should watch. I think some people are scared away because of the obvious drug content, but the show is so much more than that.

The song was originally written and performed by Malvina Reynolds off her album "Ear To The Ground." However, I found it because of "Weeds." The producers have a different artist preform the song each week. (At least they did for the first two seasons.) The song was selected because the houses of Agrestic are all "Little Boxes."

Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes made of ticky tacky,
Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes all the same.
There's a green one and a pink one
And a blue one and a yellow one,
And they're all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.

And the people in the houses
All went to the university,
Where they were put in boxes
And they came out all the same,
And there's doctors and lawyers,
And business executives,
And they're all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.

And they all play on the golf course
And drink their martinis dry,
And they all have pretty children
And the children go to school,
And the children go to summer camp
And then to the university,
Where they are put in boxes
And they come out all the same.

And the boys go into business
And marry and raise a family
In boxes made of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.
There's a green one and a pink one
And a blue one and a yellow one,
And they're all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Customers Are "Special"


An actual call at work today...
"Thank you for calling ___. My name is Mark. How may I help you?"
"Yes. Thanks, Mike. I'm calling to get some account information."
"I can definitely help you with that. May I have your account number please?"
"My account number or card number?"
Seriously? First of all, my name is Mark. I speak extremely clearly. I've been called Clark already. Okay, maybe. It rhymes. But I've also been called Eric, Bob and other names. PLEASE LISTEN! My willingness to help you drops rapidly if you do not listen. Plus, if you do not listen to my name, what else will you not listen to?

Secondly, if I ask for your account number, I'm asking for the account number. The phrase "card number" never left my mouth. If I needed the card number, I would have said, "May I have your card number please?" It would be like going to McDonald's and asking for a Big Mac and the cashier asking you "Big Mac or Fillet 'o Fish?" If I wanted a fucking Fillet 'o Fish, I would have fucking asked for it.

Morons. The world is full of them. Unfortunately, most of them have phones and I am on the other line.

Monday, June 1, 2009

And So It Begins...

My month of gamerscore whoring has begun!

I started out today with Major League Baseball 2K9. I beat the Home Run derby to earn the King of the Hill achievement and a few moments later unlocked an achievement for earning all the trading cards.

It's going to be a long month. Long, but fun. Very, very fun!

Movie Mondays - Stick It Edition


"Stick It" has two things going for it that make it a must see. First, Jeff Bridges plays a major role. He was "The Dude." I'd watch him read the newspaper because he'd still be cooler than me. Second, Missy Peregrym. She's hot as hell! And since "Reaper" was canceled prematurely, I need my Missy fix.

"Stick It" is a good movie. After about 10 viewings, it has definitely cemented it's place on my "guilty pleasure" list. You should add it to yours!