ApplesofDecency, do you find it painful when I get funky?

ApplesofDecency tried very hard to annoy me during a match tonight. He thought I was camping because I wanted to increase my kill to death ratio. To be fair, I was camping. But it was on Carnival and I always camp in the building since it's the focus of the map and everyone tries to take it. I was NOT trying to increase my K/D ratio.

He tried to lay down in front of me to block my view, but he died first. The other team never even saw me. Plus, I was laying in a spot that no matter where he stood or crouched, I could still see the door opening. Then he tried shooting me to let the other team know where I was. The whole time telling me that I couldn't be having fun just camping.

That couldn't have been farther from the truth.

I was really enjoying getting under his skin. Especially after my 1-3 start. He was extremely happy that I started with only a few kills. He was almost giddy with pride. But then it changed. All of a sudden, I was rattling off death like Sly Stallone in Rambo.


Every time I got a kill, I thanked him. What he didn't realize is that not only was he dying when the other team stormed the building, the other team just kept coming because they knew someone was there. And I just kept picking them off...like a pimp.

I had my killstreaks lined up as Predator Missile - Harrier Airstrike - Emergency Air Drop. I rattled off a 14 kill streak before I could even call anything in. After getting noob-tubed...finally...I called everything in. I got a Precision Airstrike, Sentry Gun and two Counter-UAVs. I rattled off a 9 kill streak and finished the match like 24-4.

Too bad the little bitch didn't stick around and take his verbal lashing like a man. After taunting him for most of the next match, he left with his tale between his legs.

So if you see ApplesofDecency on XBOX Live, please thank him for Lunchbox37. I owe one of my favorite matches ever to him.

Thanks again, buddy!

And of course, I avoided him, filed a complaint and muted him.

You can take a look at his XBOX Live Gamertag HERE.

This is his digital representation of what he thinks he is...


And what does his actual XBOX Live bio say?

Do you find it painful when I get funky?

Yup. A nice douchetastic bio. So ApplesofDecency, do ya?

A Sunday Afternoon at the Park

The most fun I've ever had at a Milwaukee Brewer game...sober, that is. Matt, Bill, Dan and I had passes to sit in the NYCE Club. Awesome views. Awesome air-conditioning. Awesomely hot, sexy and funny waitress. All that AND it was Robin Yount Bobblehead Doll Day. It cannot get any better than this.

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2...Prestiging for the Fifth...FUCK!...Only the Fourth Time

Okay, I know you're not reading these anymore, but I'M A FUCKING IDIOT! Do I still have your attention. Good. I was all excited once I found out that for the 5th Prestige, I'd get this title...

...and an extra custom class. I was going to rock the Rage Against the Machine title and get another custom class to add a LMG to the repertoire. So I took the plunge and Prestiged again in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. Turns out I can't count to five. I was only on the 3rd Prestige so I got nothing I wanted. I just lost all the guns, camo and challenges I worked so hard to earn. FUCK!

At least I fell off the wagon. Hard. And it's a good thing too. I AM back to being an addict and I'm hooked on CoD: MW2 again. I missed my crack. I was fiending something fierce.

I'm 100% sure I WILL Prestige again. Well...because I have to. I mean, come on, I'm a fucking idiot. Now I have to get to prestige 5. I need my Rage title. I want my extra class. I need it. I want it. Oh, baby. Oh, baby.

Since I didn't Prestige right away at level 70, I was able to play quite a bit with the AK-47. Oh, sweet AK-47. I will miss your supple killing power. Mmmm, mmmm. I loved that sexy AK. We will meet again. Soon, I hope.

This is my player logo...


Stats at the time of 4th Prestige: (Stats from 3rd, 2nd and 1st Prestige in Parentheses.)

As of right now, I'm no longer ranked in the top 1,000,000 in any category. I chalk that up to two reasons. First, I took a 3 month break from the game. It was needed, but it cost me valuable time. Second, there are many, many, MANY cheaters and glitchers that ruin the leaderboards. That shit never happened in Battlefield: Bad Company. I'm just saying.

Score - 2,176,360 (1,634,090 - 1,098,380 - 573,230)
Time Played - 10 days, 1 hours, 26 minutes (7 days, 15 hours, 31 minutes - 5 days, 3 hours, 36 minutes - 2 days, 18 hours, 23 minutes)

Wins - 1,040 (779 - 526 - 280)
Losses - 1,013 (731 - 466 - 239)
Ratio - 1.03 (1.07 - 1.13 - 1.17)
Streak - 14 (11 -11 - 11)

Kills - 21,371 (16,069 - 10,823 - 5,668)
Deaths - 18,730 (13,805 - 9,327 - 4,972)
Ratio - 1.14 (1.16 - 1.16 - 1.14)
Streak - 20 (20 - 20 - 13)

Accuracy - 18.59% (19.19% - 19.09% - 19.22%)
Shots Hit - 52,314 (39,118 - 26,271 - 13,523)
Shots Missed - 229,032 (164,669 - 111,307 - 56,827)

Progress:


Favorite Callsign Earned During My 1st Prestige:


Favorite Emblem Earned During My 1st Prestige:

How Doth My Tail Lights Offend Ye?

As I wrote in my post titled, Markllennium Falcon Speeds Past the 200k Parsec Barrier..."I once was pulled over for having illegal tail light covers. (Nothing fancy. Just the ones that Auto Zone sold.) Then a month after I took them off, I was pulled over for having too bright of tail lights. Both times were potential drunk stops since they were late at night. Both times I was 100% sober. Thank God."

I guess I can add a 3rd tail light violation story. FML.



So I went to Doug's house for a fire and a few fireworks. Had a good time. Once 11:30 rolled around I decided to head home. I was driving north into Howards Grove. As I passed the Pig, a Sheboygan County Sheriff's Deputy passed me heading south. I made the turn onto College Ave and I noticed headlights in my rear view mirror...closing quick. As I passed Lincoln Ave...BAM...the lights go on. I knew I did not do anything wrong. I was completely sober. I was not speeding. I used my turn signal. My music was not banging.

It had to be a drunk stop. And...it was.

He walks up to the window and asks for my driver's license. I have not updated my address since I moved back from Oregon, WI. (I don't want to have to pay for a new license when I already paid for the one I have.) So I gave it to him and told him I had a new address. He looks at my WISCONSIN license and says, "So you no longer live in the great state of Oregon?" Crap. It's going to be a long night.

He comes back to the truck and lectures me on the legality of aftermarket tail lights. In his infinite wisdom, he asks me why I bought them. "Because I liked the style. To be honest, I thought they were cool when I was 18. Back in 1998." I then preceded to tell him the stories about the two other times I was pulled over for tail light violations. Did not seem to sway him.

He tells me that I have white light emanating from my tail lights and that my break lights were not working. He tells me to tap my break lights as he checks them. They work. What a shocker. Then he tells me to turn my lights on so he can check the "white" light. He calls me to the back of my truck to inspect the "white" light. I don't see it. Don't get me wrong. The red lights are bright. Just not bright white. So I sit back in my truck and wait the 10 minutes for him to fill out the violation warning. I reluctantly grab the warning and head home.

As you can tell from the pictures below, the lights that the officer said were "white" are actually red. There it is...visual proof. Wow. Still doesn't matter though. I have to purchase new lights because the cop was not man enough to admit that he only pulled me over hoping that I was drunk. I wasn't. So being sober cost me.

And there it is! The lesson I learned.

It's better to get hammered than to stay sober. If I was hammered, then Linnea would not have let me drive home. No driving. No DUI. No fake "light" stop. Since I was sober, I was pulled over for nothing. It cost me time and money.

I guess I need to get wasted more often. August 5th cannot come soon enough.

Driver Side-




Passenger Side -