A Great Start to Miller Park Season!

The Brewers win 7-5! Not a bad way to start my 2010 season at Miller Park. Not. Bad. At. All.

Spring Is Here...And So Are the Projects!

So this past weekend and with spring slowly arriving, my Dad and I decided to cross a project off the to-do list. Since I moved back, some of my DVDs have been in boxes while others were spread around the basement. I had grand plans to build DVD racks for them, but over the last 18 months the project kept getting shoved aside. But the time had come to go at it.



So I drew up some plans and headed out to The Home Depot with the old man to pick up some supplies.



Since my unfortunate termination, (Go fuck yourself, Gads!) the Depot seems to have gone downhill or the hiring standards lowered. We spent over an hour picking through the boards to find straight ones. After that, we went to the checkout to finish the spree. We picked an empty lane stationed by a moderately attractive cashier. I'm glad I did. Because she was not so bright...to say the least. I bought 25 boards and she only counted 24. I also bought 3 sheets of paneling, but she only charged me for 1. (I would like to think she didn't charge because of my stunning looks, but I know better...she's stupid.) I don't remember her name, but thank you! You saved me 19%! So with my truck loaded up, we headed back home.



And then it was drama time. My dad and I have too close of personalities to spend too much time that close to each other. It took all of 5 minutes before the bickering began. My dad has his way of doing things. I have the right way to do things. After an hour or so, we found our rhythm. The only thing that slowed us down was the clock.



Once Sunday morning rolled around, we got back at it. After an hour of assembly, the racks came together quite nice. After a day and a half of measuring, routing, cutting, sanding, assembling and screaming, the racks were complete.



Before I could check this project off the list my OCD had to alphabetize the DVD collection. It took almost as long to sort as it did to assemble.



And it's FINISHED!!! Damn nice too, if you ask me.



This was the first woodworking project my Dad and I worked on since woodworking group in 4-H over 15 years ago. It was fun, irritating, entertaining, enlightening, aggravating and something I would do again in a heartbeat.

Markllennium Falcon Speeds Past the 200k Parsec Barrier

Sorry, if you didn't understand my geek speak. For normal people, my truck just rolled over 200,000 miles. And it's still going strong. I'm proud that my S-10 has lasted this long. And not to get too greedy, but I hope it lasts a few more years. Parting is such sweet sorrow.

In honor of this momentous occasion, I figured I'd share my favorite truck stories.

Horny Pornstar - Three things you need to know about this one. First, Jeff got pulled over for speeding in Georgia. Second, Doug's an asshole. Third, damn kids.

Georgia Return Trip - Jeff and I moved Doug and Linnea to Georgia. This was about a week after my stereo was stolen out of my truck so I had no radio. On the way back, we stopped at a Wal-Mart in Knoxville and I bought a CD player, some speakers and the Len album with "Steal My Sunshine" on it. The whole way home, we listened to that song because Len talked about Mark and Karen (my semi crush) in the lyrics. Yes, that sound you hear is my dignity flushing down the toilet.

Trailer Surfing - Jeff, Doug and I hooked up a trailer to my truck and went trailer surfing through the field and down the road. It was stupid. It was probably illegal. But damn was it fun.

Chair Surfing - My parents were getting rid of an old Lazy Boy recliner so Jeff and I thought we'd have some fun with it. We chained it to the back of the truck and took turns pulling each other in it. That moment was the most Redneck I've ever felt.

Jersey Trip - Quite possibly the worst time ever in my truck. Jeff managed to rear end a mini van in downtown Chicago three hours into a 14 hour trip. However, that trip also took us to the QuikStop. My truck made it all the way to my Graceland. All in all, that trip was about even.

Top Gun - I just had a sunroof installed, but I was an idiot. I tried opening the sunroof while driving...60 miles per hour. The damn thing went up, vertical and then shattered in the middle of the road. It was like a fucking cockpit cover being released on a fighter jet going Mach 1. I kept driving...in shame. Basically, it went like this ---> - then ---> l and finally ---> .........

Beach - Yup. Did some stuff and things with someone in my truck near the beach entrance where South 7th Street zags.

Pupper - Whenever I took Laddie anywhere I had to do two things. First, I had to roll the window down so he could get his head and shoulders out the window. Second, I had to move the seat forward so he could reach the arm rest on the door. It didn't matter where we went. I will always remember Laddie enjoying the ride.

97 MPH - Driving down FF trying to get the governor on my truck to shut off the engine. It did. A few times. Actually, maybe more than a few.

Cruising in GB - Jamie and I, thinking we were gangstas, cruised the mean streets of Green Bay. There was nothing gangsta about it. However, we had a lot of fun doing it. Especially, the McDonald's detours when we were "craving" some fries.

DUI Stop - Quite possibly the luckiest Jeff and I ever were. We had just closed down Score's after a night of drinking (Damn, I miss that place.) with a bar close Purple Haze shot. Neither one of us should have been driving, but Jeff volunteered. I'm pretty persuasive. Off of Eisner Avenue, Jeff got pulled over for a drunk stop. Not sure of the actual reason we were stopped since he was driving decent. Jeff passed the field sobriety test, but blew a 0.16 on the Breathalyzer. I, in my infinite wisdom, volunteered to take a Breathalyzer to see if I could drive. I only blew a 0.058. However, the cop would not let me drive either. The best part is that the cop let Jeff off with nothing. Not even a written warning. All we had to do was call for a ride. Oh, yeah. Thanks for picking us up, Ed.

Tail Light Confusion - I once was pulled over for having illegal tail light covers. (Nothing fancy. Just the ones that Auto Zone sold.) Then a month after I took them off, I was pulled over for having too bright of tail lights. Both times were potential drunk stops since they were late at night. Both times I was 100% sober. Thank God.

Fucking 4th and 26 - This one was stupid. It was the closest I've ever puked in my truck...and it just happened to be going 45 MPH. And oh, yeah...I was driving down Bridgewood. So here I am, driving down the road at 3 am. My door is open and I'm leaning out to vomit...multiple times...while still keeping the truck on the road. Either sheer genius or utter stupidity.

Rough Night? - After Greg's 21st birthday party/Home Depot staff party, I left Maple Lanes and headed home. I don't really remember much. I might have had a bit too much vodka. However, when I woke up, my Dad greeted me with a chuckle and a "Had a rough night, huh?" After a few brief moments with a stupid look on my face, he clued me in. Turns out I had parked my truck in the middle of the lawn. Apparently, I missed our circle driveway completely. Don't drink and drive, kids. It'll fuck you up.

Laddie's Footprints

I'm not a religious man, but Laddie has GOT to be tired.

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,
"The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you."

I know I'm heavy, but thanks for the lift, Pupper!

Good Bye, Old Friend

Today I lost the best friend I've ever had...my dog, Laddie. I will never forget the love you gave me. You will be missed, Pupper!

Monday Night Smackdown

Return of a Legend(dary Douchebag)

How I Spent a Beautiful Sunday in October

After I rolled out of bed just in time to catch the last bit of the Fox NFL pregame, my dad and I sat down to watch a relaxing Packer beat down of the Lions. At half-time, I had to run to the gas station so I took Laddie with me. Noticing how nice of a day it was outside, I decided to make plans. Unfortunately, nobody could make the time to hang out. What to do? What to do? Then it hit me. A few days ago, my niece came upstairs and scolded me for how messy my room was...

"Untle Nark, you need to clean your room. Granma's gonna be mad."

She then preceded to make a lane in the middle of my room so Laddie could jump up on my bed. That night, Laddie did not even want to sleep upstairs because there was no place to lay down. So I figured it was time to clean. And today was as good a day as any. After the Packers shut out the lowly Lions, I got to work.

This is what my room looked like before...



Of course I had to take a few necessary Facebook breaks, a pizza break, a break to talk with my niece and nephew and a break to kill some bitches with Murda, but eventually I finished cleaning my room. I even alphabetized my XBOX 360 collection again.

This is what my room looked like after...




At 11:30, exactly 12 hours after I woke up and 8 hours after I started, I finished cleaning my room. How did I decide to celebrate? With Rock Band, of course. Arguably the greatest video game ever. I set up my drum set and rock 'n rolled until the wee hours of the morning. I tried to forget that the upcoming week will suck.



Another day well spent socializing with the only person that truly understands me...ME!

Meet Us in St. Louis

A Room With a View

Just checked into our hotel in St. Louis. We are on the 17th floor (top floor in the hotel.) This is our view...

The 2009 Season Kicks Off With a Bang

The Packers got off to a good start against the Bears. It was nerve racking, but eventually Aaron Rodgers and the new 3-4 defense pulled it out.

Favorite Moment: (Tie) Johnny Jolly's interception in the red zone was the greatest interception by a defensive lineman I have ever seen. Al Harris picking off Jay Cutler to essentially end the game gave me flashbacks of the Matt Hasselbeck "We want the ball and we're going to score" play-off game.

Least Favorite Moment: The ticky tack penalty for illegal contact against Al Harris. First, it should not have been called. Second, it extended the drive and could have cost the Packers the game. Finally, if Al Harris is going to be called for minor contact every game, then it is going to be a long year.

MVP: Jay Cutler - Only the savior could be the MVP. His four interceptions kept the Packers ahead the whole game.