Spring Is Here...And So Are the Projects!

So this past weekend and with spring slowly arriving, my Dad and I decided to cross a project off the to-do list. Since I moved back, some of my DVDs have been in boxes while others were spread around the basement. I had grand plans to build DVD racks for them, but over the last 18 months the project kept getting shoved aside. But the time had come to go at it.



So I drew up some plans and headed out to The Home Depot with the old man to pick up some supplies.



Since my unfortunate termination, (Go fuck yourself, Gads!) the Depot seems to have gone downhill or the hiring standards lowered. We spent over an hour picking through the boards to find straight ones. After that, we went to the checkout to finish the spree. We picked an empty lane stationed by a moderately attractive cashier. I'm glad I did. Because she was not so bright...to say the least. I bought 25 boards and she only counted 24. I also bought 3 sheets of paneling, but she only charged me for 1. (I would like to think she didn't charge because of my stunning looks, but I know better...she's stupid.) I don't remember her name, but thank you! You saved me 19%! So with my truck loaded up, we headed back home.



And then it was drama time. My dad and I have too close of personalities to spend too much time that close to each other. It took all of 5 minutes before the bickering began. My dad has his way of doing things. I have the right way to do things. After an hour or so, we found our rhythm. The only thing that slowed us down was the clock.



Once Sunday morning rolled around, we got back at it. After an hour of assembly, the racks came together quite nice. After a day and a half of measuring, routing, cutting, sanding, assembling and screaming, the racks were complete.



Before I could check this project off the list my OCD had to alphabetize the DVD collection. It took almost as long to sort as it did to assemble.



And it's FINISHED!!! Damn nice too, if you ask me.



This was the first woodworking project my Dad and I worked on since woodworking group in 4-H over 15 years ago. It was fun, irritating, entertaining, enlightening, aggravating and something I would do again in a heartbeat.

Activision Can Go Fuck Itself

First of all, it's about fucking time. New maps should be out within 90 days of release and then again after 180 if there are still plenty of gamers playing. (Which CoD:MW2 will still have.)

Here's IW and Activision clever site about a stimulus package called, "Mapathy."

Unfortunately, the only thing it will stimulate is the wallet of Activision.

I'm not sure if everyone's heard (Check out Major Nelson's Podcast HERE) but the new maps for CoD:MW2 are going to be 1200 points ($15.) There are 3 brand new maps and 2 maps updated from CoD4:MW. The old maps are Overgrown and Crash. Not even great maps.



I would have been okay with Crossfire (my personal favorite) and Strike. Overgrown always had way too many snipers and Crash was one sided depending on what end you spawned.



I'm not giving Activision my money for this set. Maybe if they drop it to 800 points ($10.) And even that is high considering there are really only 3 new maps. They better get the lube ready for everyone they're about to fuck. Hey Activision, GO FUCK YOURSELVES!

If you want to express your displeasure, tweet IW's Robert Bowling at @fourzerotwo. Also, add #MW2StimulusSucks to your tweet.

And of course, VOTE WITH YOUR WALLET! Tell Activision to FUCK OFF by NOT paying for the map pack.

An Evening with Kevin Smith at the Pabst Theatre

Doug and I headed down to the Pabst Theatre to see An Evening with Kevin Smith. It ranged from the unbelievable (Flesh light, anyone?) to the shocking (sucking his own dick) to the disgusting (trying to pop a leg zit and having his wife walk him on him) to the touching (the story about what George Carlin meant to him damn near caused him and the crowd to turn on the water works) to the funny (Who am I kidding? Damn near everything was funny.) Basically, it was everything I was hoping for and more. If you're even a moderate fan of Kevin's, you need to see him live. This was my 5th time and it gets better every time.

Markllennium Falcon Speeds Past the 200k Parsec Barrier

Sorry, if you didn't understand my geek speak. For normal people, my truck just rolled over 200,000 miles. And it's still going strong. I'm proud that my S-10 has lasted this long. And not to get too greedy, but I hope it lasts a few more years. Parting is such sweet sorrow.

In honor of this momentous occasion, I figured I'd share my favorite truck stories.

Horny Pornstar - Three things you need to know about this one. First, Jeff got pulled over for speeding in Georgia. Second, Doug's an asshole. Third, damn kids.

Georgia Return Trip - Jeff and I moved Doug and Linnea to Georgia. This was about a week after my stereo was stolen out of my truck so I had no radio. On the way back, we stopped at a Wal-Mart in Knoxville and I bought a CD player, some speakers and the Len album with "Steal My Sunshine" on it. The whole way home, we listened to that song because Len talked about Mark and Karen (my semi crush) in the lyrics. Yes, that sound you hear is my dignity flushing down the toilet.

Trailer Surfing - Jeff, Doug and I hooked up a trailer to my truck and went trailer surfing through the field and down the road. It was stupid. It was probably illegal. But damn was it fun.

Chair Surfing - My parents were getting rid of an old Lazy Boy recliner so Jeff and I thought we'd have some fun with it. We chained it to the back of the truck and took turns pulling each other in it. That moment was the most Redneck I've ever felt.

Jersey Trip - Quite possibly the worst time ever in my truck. Jeff managed to rear end a mini van in downtown Chicago three hours into a 14 hour trip. However, that trip also took us to the QuikStop. My truck made it all the way to my Graceland. All in all, that trip was about even.

Top Gun - I just had a sunroof installed, but I was an idiot. I tried opening the sunroof while driving...60 miles per hour. The damn thing went up, vertical and then shattered in the middle of the road. It was like a fucking cockpit cover being released on a fighter jet going Mach 1. I kept driving...in shame. Basically, it went like this ---> - then ---> l and finally ---> .........

Beach - Yup. Did some stuff and things with someone in my truck near the beach entrance where South 7th Street zags.

Pupper - Whenever I took Laddie anywhere I had to do two things. First, I had to roll the window down so he could get his head and shoulders out the window. Second, I had to move the seat forward so he could reach the arm rest on the door. It didn't matter where we went. I will always remember Laddie enjoying the ride.

97 MPH - Driving down FF trying to get the governor on my truck to shut off the engine. It did. A few times. Actually, maybe more than a few.

Cruising in GB - Jamie and I, thinking we were gangstas, cruised the mean streets of Green Bay. There was nothing gangsta about it. However, we had a lot of fun doing it. Especially, the McDonald's detours when we were "craving" some fries.

DUI Stop - Quite possibly the luckiest Jeff and I ever were. We had just closed down Score's after a night of drinking (Damn, I miss that place.) with a bar close Purple Haze shot. Neither one of us should have been driving, but Jeff volunteered. I'm pretty persuasive. Off of Eisner Avenue, Jeff got pulled over for a drunk stop. Not sure of the actual reason we were stopped since he was driving decent. Jeff passed the field sobriety test, but blew a 0.16 on the Breathalyzer. I, in my infinite wisdom, volunteered to take a Breathalyzer to see if I could drive. I only blew a 0.058. However, the cop would not let me drive either. The best part is that the cop let Jeff off with nothing. Not even a written warning. All we had to do was call for a ride. Oh, yeah. Thanks for picking us up, Ed.

Tail Light Confusion - I once was pulled over for having illegal tail light covers. (Nothing fancy. Just the ones that Auto Zone sold.) Then a month after I took them off, I was pulled over for having too bright of tail lights. Both times were potential drunk stops since they were late at night. Both times I was 100% sober. Thank God.

Fucking 4th and 26 - This one was stupid. It was the closest I've ever puked in my truck...and it just happened to be going 45 MPH. And oh, yeah...I was driving down Bridgewood. So here I am, driving down the road at 3 am. My door is open and I'm leaning out to vomit...multiple times...while still keeping the truck on the road. Either sheer genius or utter stupidity.

Rough Night? - After Greg's 21st birthday party/Home Depot staff party, I left Maple Lanes and headed home. I don't really remember much. I might have had a bit too much vodka. However, when I woke up, my Dad greeted me with a chuckle and a "Had a rough night, huh?" After a few brief moments with a stupid look on my face, he clued me in. Turns out I had parked my truck in the middle of the lawn. Apparently, I missed our circle driveway completely. Don't drink and drive, kids. It'll fuck you up.