2010 Milwaukee Brewers Predictions, Promises and Possibilities

Prediction:
I predict the Brewers will finish the season at 88-74. With that record, the Brewers will win the wild card and host at least one play-off game.

I would settle for any record that gets the Brewers to the play-offs and would be ecstatic with a record good enough to win the division. Then again, with the Cardinals pitching and hitting, I don't think the Brewers will overtake them. Just not enough pitching for the Brew Crew.



Possibilities:

• If Pujols gets hurt, Prince could win the MVP.
• Then again, Prince might not be a Brewer by the end of the year.
• Randy Wolf will disappoint, but not on the Jeff Suppan level. He'll be good, just not ace material.
• Yovani Gallardo, on the other hand, will be an ace and prove it each start.
• If Yo stays healthy, he will be top 3 in the Cy Young voting.
• Alcides Escobar will finish in the top 3 in NL Rookie of the Year voting. He should win it, but won't have the sexy stats like that beast in Atlanta will.
• Jeff Suppan will not end the season on the Brewers active roster. Doug Melvin will either cut his ass or stash Soup on the DL.

Promises:

• The Cubs will still suck.
• The Brewers will finish with a winning record against the Cubs.
• Prince will finish in the top 5 in MVP voting.
• Craig Counsell will once again prove he's the best bench player in the league. Yes. The League.
• Corey Hart will end the 2010 season on a different team.
• The Brewers will have at least 3 All-Stars. Prince and Braunie are locks. Maybe Hoffman or Yo.
• The Brewers will somehow piss off some team. It might be a team celebration. It might be Braunie's attitude. Either way, the bean balls will be a flying.
• Matt's going to miss yelling "J, J, J, J" at the games.
• The Brewers will finish above .500 and be in contention for a play-off spot all year.

I hope to get to at least 2 games a month. I do want to get some club seats this year and maybe a Friday's table. Actually, I don't REALLY care where I sit as long as the Brewers win!



I'm sure many people will disagree with my prognostications, but who gives a fuck. If Yo or Prince or Braunie goes down with an injury, the Brewers season is over. If everything goes according to plan, more baseball awaits Brewer fans in October.



GO BREW CREW GO!

Spring Is Here...And So Are the Projects!

So this past weekend and with spring slowly arriving, my Dad and I decided to cross a project off the to-do list. Since I moved back, some of my DVDs have been in boxes while others were spread around the basement. I had grand plans to build DVD racks for them, but over the last 18 months the project kept getting shoved aside. But the time had come to go at it.



So I drew up some plans and headed out to The Home Depot with the old man to pick up some supplies.



Since my unfortunate termination, (Go fuck yourself, Gads!) the Depot seems to have gone downhill or the hiring standards lowered. We spent over an hour picking through the boards to find straight ones. After that, we went to the checkout to finish the spree. We picked an empty lane stationed by a moderately attractive cashier. I'm glad I did. Because she was not so bright...to say the least. I bought 25 boards and she only counted 24. I also bought 3 sheets of paneling, but she only charged me for 1. (I would like to think she didn't charge because of my stunning looks, but I know better...she's stupid.) I don't remember her name, but thank you! You saved me 19%! So with my truck loaded up, we headed back home.



And then it was drama time. My dad and I have too close of personalities to spend too much time that close to each other. It took all of 5 minutes before the bickering began. My dad has his way of doing things. I have the right way to do things. After an hour or so, we found our rhythm. The only thing that slowed us down was the clock.



Once Sunday morning rolled around, we got back at it. After an hour of assembly, the racks came together quite nice. After a day and a half of measuring, routing, cutting, sanding, assembling and screaming, the racks were complete.



Before I could check this project off the list my OCD had to alphabetize the DVD collection. It took almost as long to sort as it did to assemble.



And it's FINISHED!!! Damn nice too, if you ask me.



This was the first woodworking project my Dad and I worked on since woodworking group in 4-H over 15 years ago. It was fun, irritating, entertaining, enlightening, aggravating and something I would do again in a heartbeat.

Activision Can Go Fuck Itself

First of all, it's about fucking time. New maps should be out within 90 days of release and then again after 180 if there are still plenty of gamers playing. (Which CoD:MW2 will still have.)

Here's IW and Activision clever site about a stimulus package called, "Mapathy."

Unfortunately, the only thing it will stimulate is the wallet of Activision.

I'm not sure if everyone's heard (Check out Major Nelson's Podcast HERE) but the new maps for CoD:MW2 are going to be 1200 points ($15.) There are 3 brand new maps and 2 maps updated from CoD4:MW. The old maps are Overgrown and Crash. Not even great maps.



I would have been okay with Crossfire (my personal favorite) and Strike. Overgrown always had way too many snipers and Crash was one sided depending on what end you spawned.



I'm not giving Activision my money for this set. Maybe if they drop it to 800 points ($10.) And even that is high considering there are really only 3 new maps. They better get the lube ready for everyone they're about to fuck. Hey Activision, GO FUCK YOURSELVES!

If you want to express your displeasure, tweet IW's Robert Bowling at @fourzerotwo. Also, add #MW2StimulusSucks to your tweet.

And of course, VOTE WITH YOUR WALLET! Tell Activision to FUCK OFF by NOT paying for the map pack.

An Evening with Kevin Smith at the Pabst Theatre

Doug and I headed down to the Pabst Theatre to see An Evening with Kevin Smith. It ranged from the unbelievable (Flesh light, anyone?) to the shocking (sucking his own dick) to the disgusting (trying to pop a leg zit and having his wife walk him on him) to the touching (the story about what George Carlin meant to him damn near caused him and the crowd to turn on the water works) to the funny (Who am I kidding? Damn near everything was funny.) Basically, it was everything I was hoping for and more. If you're even a moderate fan of Kevin's, you need to see him live. This was my 5th time and it gets better every time.

Markllennium Falcon Speeds Past the 200k Parsec Barrier

Sorry, if you didn't understand my geek speak. For normal people, my truck just rolled over 200,000 miles. And it's still going strong. I'm proud that my S-10 has lasted this long. And not to get too greedy, but I hope it lasts a few more years. Parting is such sweet sorrow.

In honor of this momentous occasion, I figured I'd share my favorite truck stories.

Horny Pornstar - Three things you need to know about this one. First, Jeff got pulled over for speeding in Georgia. Second, Doug's an asshole. Third, damn kids.

Georgia Return Trip - Jeff and I moved Doug and Linnea to Georgia. This was about a week after my stereo was stolen out of my truck so I had no radio. On the way back, we stopped at a Wal-Mart in Knoxville and I bought a CD player, some speakers and the Len album with "Steal My Sunshine" on it. The whole way home, we listened to that song because Len talked about Mark and Karen (my semi crush) in the lyrics. Yes, that sound you hear is my dignity flushing down the toilet.

Trailer Surfing - Jeff, Doug and I hooked up a trailer to my truck and went trailer surfing through the field and down the road. It was stupid. It was probably illegal. But damn was it fun.

Chair Surfing - My parents were getting rid of an old Lazy Boy recliner so Jeff and I thought we'd have some fun with it. We chained it to the back of the truck and took turns pulling each other in it. That moment was the most Redneck I've ever felt.

Jersey Trip - Quite possibly the worst time ever in my truck. Jeff managed to rear end a mini van in downtown Chicago three hours into a 14 hour trip. However, that trip also took us to the QuikStop. My truck made it all the way to my Graceland. All in all, that trip was about even.

Top Gun - I just had a sunroof installed, but I was an idiot. I tried opening the sunroof while driving...60 miles per hour. The damn thing went up, vertical and then shattered in the middle of the road. It was like a fucking cockpit cover being released on a fighter jet going Mach 1. I kept driving...in shame. Basically, it went like this ---> - then ---> l and finally ---> .........

Beach - Yup. Did some stuff and things with someone in my truck near the beach entrance where South 7th Street zags.

Pupper - Whenever I took Laddie anywhere I had to do two things. First, I had to roll the window down so he could get his head and shoulders out the window. Second, I had to move the seat forward so he could reach the arm rest on the door. It didn't matter where we went. I will always remember Laddie enjoying the ride.

97 MPH - Driving down FF trying to get the governor on my truck to shut off the engine. It did. A few times. Actually, maybe more than a few.

Cruising in GB - Jamie and I, thinking we were gangstas, cruised the mean streets of Green Bay. There was nothing gangsta about it. However, we had a lot of fun doing it. Especially, the McDonald's detours when we were "craving" some fries.

DUI Stop - Quite possibly the luckiest Jeff and I ever were. We had just closed down Score's after a night of drinking (Damn, I miss that place.) with a bar close Purple Haze shot. Neither one of us should have been driving, but Jeff volunteered. I'm pretty persuasive. Off of Eisner Avenue, Jeff got pulled over for a drunk stop. Not sure of the actual reason we were stopped since he was driving decent. Jeff passed the field sobriety test, but blew a 0.16 on the Breathalyzer. I, in my infinite wisdom, volunteered to take a Breathalyzer to see if I could drive. I only blew a 0.058. However, the cop would not let me drive either. The best part is that the cop let Jeff off with nothing. Not even a written warning. All we had to do was call for a ride. Oh, yeah. Thanks for picking us up, Ed.

Tail Light Confusion - I once was pulled over for having illegal tail light covers. (Nothing fancy. Just the ones that Auto Zone sold.) Then a month after I took them off, I was pulled over for having too bright of tail lights. Both times were potential drunk stops since they were late at night. Both times I was 100% sober. Thank God.

Fucking 4th and 26 - This one was stupid. It was the closest I've ever puked in my truck...and it just happened to be going 45 MPH. And oh, yeah...I was driving down Bridgewood. So here I am, driving down the road at 3 am. My door is open and I'm leaning out to vomit...multiple times...while still keeping the truck on the road. Either sheer genius or utter stupidity.

Rough Night? - After Greg's 21st birthday party/Home Depot staff party, I left Maple Lanes and headed home. I don't really remember much. I might have had a bit too much vodka. However, when I woke up, my Dad greeted me with a chuckle and a "Had a rough night, huh?" After a few brief moments with a stupid look on my face, he clued me in. Turns out I had parked my truck in the middle of the lawn. Apparently, I missed our circle driveway completely. Don't drink and drive, kids. It'll fuck you up.

I Know It's Getting Old, But...Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Prestige...Again...For the Third Time

Yup, you guessed it. I Prestiged again in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I figured I have more than enough time to get back to 70 before Battlefield: Bad Company 2 drops and begins to monopolize my time. I do want to get to Borderlands, Wolfenstein, Wanted and a few more collecting dust on my shelf. However, I AM an addict and I'm hooked on CoD: MW2. It's my crack.

I'm 100% sure I WILL Prestige again. There is a benefit to help Prestige faster. There are additional challenges that keep rolling over from Prestige to Prestige. And they're high point challenges. Plus, with the new maps releasing sometime in March, I'll still be playing Call of Duty.

The only thing I will miss is the AK-47. Plus, it's a long way back to get Cold Blooded and Ninja.

This is my player logo...


Stats at the time of 2nd Prestige: (Stats from 2nd and 1st Prestige in Parentheses.)

As of right now, I'm still ranked in the top million in all the categories except accuracy. (I will never be ranked high in accuracy because people that played one match, fired one shot and hit something will always be at 100% accurate.) I am ranked in the top 500,000 in wins. That is still the most important category to me. Kills are sexy, but wins are where the meat and potatoes are at.

Score - 1,634,090 (1,098,380 - 573,230)
Time Played - 7 days, 15 hours, 31 minutes (5 days, 3 hours, 36 minutes - 2 days, 18 hours, 23 minutes)

Wins -779 (526 - 280)
Losses - 731 (466 - 239)
Ratio - 1.07 (1.13 - 1.17)
Streak - 11 (11 - 11)

Kills - 16,069 (10,823 - 5,668)
Deaths - 13,805 (9,327 - 4,972)
Ratio - 1.16 (1.16 - 1.14)
Streak - 20 (20 - 13)

Accuracy - 19.19% (19.09% - 19.22%)
Shots Hit - 39,118 (26,271 - 13,523)
Shots Missed - 164,669 (111,307 - 56,827)

Progress:


Favorite Callsign Earned During My 1st Prestige:

"Cobra Commander: I" - Get 50 kills as a Chopper Gunner.

Favorite Emblem Earned During My 1st Prestige:

ACR Emblem - Complete ACR Veteran II (1,000 ACR Kills.)

You've Just Been Pwned

I'm sorry XBOX Live gamertag FLESH STORM. I didn't mean to rape you. Nor did I mean to embarass you. It's just...well...you're bad. Like epic bad. Like Ishtar bad. Seriously, Bad just apologized to you for stealing your name. Enjoy your lonely, pathetic exsistence. I'll wave at you from the winner's circle. Peace out, nancy boy.

Here's the story...

It was awesome. I raped on Wasteland and Derail - 20 plus kills and single digit deaths. 1st place both matches. We lost both because not another person on my team had double digit kills. Of course on Wasteland I was noob-tubing. That pissed him off and he bitched at me afterward. Then on Derail, I ran around silent and killed EVERYONE. He got the winning kill on me with a RPD by wasting a half of clip and camping in a rail car. No joke. After the match, he bragged that he shot me in the ass. I responded, "You fired 50 shots, you were bound to hit me at least once." That pissed him off more. Then he left. Poor baby. Oh yeah, he sounded like he was my age so that made it better. Plus, his own team laughed at him. Priceless.

And boom goes the dynamite. I hope you brought your lube because you just got fucked!

Oops...Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Prestige...Again

Yup, you guessed it. I Prestiged again in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I figured I have more than enough time to get back to 70 before Battlefield: Bad Company 2 drops. I might even have time to Prestige one more time. Plus, with the new maps releasing sometime in the next month or two, I'll still be playing Call of Duty.

I'm 99.99% sure I WILL Prestige again. There is a benefit to help Prestige faster. There are additional challenges that keep rolling over from Prestige to Prestige. And they're high point challenges.

One thing I missed the first time is Infinity Ward's sense of humor. When you're able to Prestige, it opens the Prestige option. If you click it, it gives you a warning about losing your guns. If you click yes, it gives you another warning asking if you really want to Prestige. If you click no, it makes chicken noises. I love it. I actually said no a few times just to hear the chickens. Brilliant!

The only things I miss are the AK-47 and the Blue Tiger camo for my M4 and MP5. So long AK-47. So long Blue Tiger camo. I hardly knew ya! (But I'll be seeing you again shortly.)

This is my player logo...

Stats at the time of 2nd Prestige: (Stats from 1st Prestige in Parentheses.)
As of right now, I'm ranked in the top million in all the categories except accuracy. (I will never be ranked high in accuracy because people that played one match, fired one shot and hit something will always be at 100% accurate.) I am ranked in the top 500,000 in wins. That is by far the most important category to me. Kills are sexy, but wins are where the meat and potatoes are at.

Score - 1,098,380 (573,230)
Time Played - 5 days, 3 hours, 36 minutes (2 days, 18 hours, 23 minutes)

Wins - 526 (280)
Losses - 466 (239)
Ratio - 1.13 (1.17)
Streak - 11 (11)

Kills - 10,823 (5668)
Deaths - 9,327 (4972)
Ratio - 1.16 (1.14)\
Streak - 20 (13)

Accuracy - 19.09% (19.22%)
Shots Hit - 26,271 (13,523)
Shots Missed - 111,307 (56,827)

Progress:


Favorite Callsign Earned During My 1st Prestige:

"It's Personal!" - Hurt an enemy then finish them off with a Throwing Knife.

Favorite Emblem Earned During My 1st Prestige:

M4 Emblem - Complete M4A1 Veteran II (1,000 M4 Kills)

Laddie's Footprints

I'm not a religious man, but Laddie has GOT to be tired.

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,
"The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you."

I know I'm heavy, but thanks for the lift, Pupper!

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Prestige

Well, I did it. I Prestiged today in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I was on the fence, but decided the draw of the extra Callsigns and Emblems was worth it. I also have one more Create-A-Class slot. (Very helpful.) Plus, I have time to get back up to 70 and enjoy all the guns, perks and challenges.

I'm 99.99% sure I will NOT Prestige again though. There is a benefit to the first time, but the only difference beyond that is 1 or 2 more Callsigns and up to 10 Create-A-Class slots. Not worth it in my eyes.

So long AK-47. I hardly knew ya! (But I'll be seeing you again shortly.)

This is my player logo...

Stats at the time of Prestige:
As of right now, the only thing I'm ranked in the top 1,000,000 (yes, MILLION) is wins and surprisingly, accuracy. I'm currently ranked 999,406 with 280 wins and 923,477 with 19.22% accuracy.

Score - 573,230
Time Played - 2 days, 18 hours, 23 minutes

Wins - 280
Losses - 239
Ratio - 1.17
Streak 11

Kills - 5668
Deaths - 4972
Ratio - 1.14
Streak - 13

Accuracy - 19.22%
Shots Hit - 13,523
Shots Missed - 56,827

Favorite Callsigns Earned:

"Group Hug" - Kill multiple enemies with a Semtex grenade stuck to one of them.

"Team Player: II" - Win 15 Team Deathmatch matches.

Stab a person wearing this title. (This is a viral Callsign so sooner or later everyone will have it and the awesome factor will wear off.)

Most Wanted Callsign:

"The Resourceful" - Kill an enemy by sticking a Semtex Grenade to an ally.

Favorite Emblems Earned:

"Overdraft" - Get a Payback that sticks to the victim. (Reminds me of the "Fight Club" logo.)

"Blindfire" - Kill an enemy while you are still dazed by a flashbang.

"Airborne" - Get a 2 kill streak with bullets while in mid-air. (Reminds me of the Duke Nukem logo.)

Most Wanted Emblem:

"Fast Swap" - Hurt an enemy with a primary weapon, then finish him off with a pistol.