Roundabouts...A Crash Course so You Don't Crash...Into Me

First things first, if you drive a Blazer similar to this one...



...and were driving through the roundabout by the northside Wal-Mart, GO FUCK YOURSELF. You need to learn how to navigate a fucking roundabout before you get behind the wheel. You're lucky I was in a hurry or I would have followed you to your destination and beat the living shit out of you.

LEARN TO DRIVE, YOU FUCKING IDIOT!

Here's what happened...I was exiting Miesfeld's, but could not cross the highway to head back to Howards Grove so I decided to turn right and make a (legally allowed) u-turn in the roundabout. I was now heading into Sheboygan on Highway 42. A jackass in a teal Blazer was driving next to me. As we approached the roundabout in front of the northside Wal-Mart, I was in the left lane and he was in the right lane. We entered the roundabout at the same time. But, as we traveled through the roundabout, he cut into my lane, which forced me to slam on my breaks and steer up onto the inside apron. Of course, I honked the horn. Unfortunately, I was in a hurry to get home so I collected myself and continued around the roundabout and back to Howards Grove.

Here is an award-winning graphical representation of the event that transpired...



I am not against roundabouts. I believe they are safer than stops signs or traffic lights. I also believe that they keep traffic moving more than other methods. The biggest problem with roundabouts is easily the other dumbass drivers that do not know how to navigate them.

Here are my three biggest roundabout pet peeves...

• Following a driver that comes to a complete stop even though no one is coming from the left.
• Drivers that slow down IN the roundabout, not BEFORE the roundabout.
• And of course, ASSHOLES that do not stay in the same lane throughout the roundabout.

Here is a diagram of how to properly navigate a two lane roundabout...



Here are some tips if you're driving through roundabouts...

1. Slow down.
2. Watch for and obey traffic signs.
3. Move into the correct lane for the direction you want to travel.
4. Yield to pedestrians and bicyclists as you enter and exit the roundabout.
5. Look to the left for traffic.
6. Enter when it is safe.
7. Keep your speed low and STAY IN YOUR LANE within the roundabout (do not change lanes within the roundabout.)
8. Exit carefully to your destination. Use your right-turn signal, in front of the splitter island just prior to your exit, to indicate your intention to exit.

Here are some quick tips when choosing your lane...

• If making a left turn or pulling a u-turn, use LEFT lane.
• If going straight, use LEFT or RIGHT lane.
• If making a right turn, use RIGHT lane.

Hopefully, after reading this note, you will be more knowledgeable about how to navigate a roundabout. Just remember, if you cut me off, and I have time, I will follow you and beat your ass. Just a heads up.

For informational links on how to navigate roundabouts, please check out these two sites:

To view a PDF of "How to Drive a Roundabout," click HERE.

To view the Wisconsin Department of Transportation's website regarding roundabouts, click HERE.