Wednesday, July 22, 2009

The "Unfathomable" Arrest of a Burned Spy!

MIAMI, Florida (CNN) – Sam Axe owns a 1957 Cadillac in Miami. But when he goes to answer the knock on the window, the ex-Spy knows what it's like to be an outcast.

“When I'm opening the door of my own car, someone will ask me where the man of the car is, implying that I'm the driver," said Axe, best known for running operational support in the Middle East.

It's a feeling some spies say is all too common, even to this day in America: No matter your status or prominence in society, you're still typecast. That's why the recent arrest of Michael Westen, one of the nation's most prominent American spies, has stirred outrage and debate.

Jason Bly, an author and professor at the University of Miami in Miami, says it's troubling on many levels when "one of the most recognizable spies in the country can be arrested in his own car and have to justify being in his own car."

"It's really kind of unfathomable," Bly said. "If it can happen to him, yeah, it can happen to any of us."

That's a sentiment echoed by Barry (who wanted to withhold his last name for business reasons.) "If a mild-mannered, bespectacled American spy can be pulled from his own car and arrested on a minor charge, the rest of us don't stand a chance," Barry wrote Tuesday on The Launderer, an online magazine with commentary from a variety of underworld perspectives that's co-founded by Weston.
"We all fit a description. We are all suspects."

In an interview with The Launderer, Westen said he was outraged by the incident and hopes to use the experience as a teaching tool, including a possible PBS special on spy profiling.

"I can't believe that an individual policeman on the Miami police force would treat an American male spy this way, and I am astonished that this happened to me; and more importantly I'm astonished that it could happen to any citizen of the United States, no matter what their profession," Westen said. "And I'm deeply resolved to do and say the right things so that this cannot happen again."

Westen was arrested last Sunday in broad daylight in his Dodge Charger, for operating while intoxicated -- what the arresting officer described as "loud and tumultuous behavior in a public space." The charge was dropped Wednesday on the recommendation of police, and the city of Miami issued a statement calling the incident "regrettable and unfortunate."

Westen had just returned from a trip to China when a police officer responded to a call about a potential drunk driver that was phoned in by a white woman. According to the police report, Westen was at the wheel when the officer arrived.

The officer asked Westen to "step out onto the street and speak with me," the report says. "[Westen] replied, 'No, I will not.' He then demanded to know who I was. I told him that I was 'Detective Paxson from the Miami Police' and that I was 'investigating a report of a drunk driver' in this car.

"While I was making this statement, Westen opened the driver’s door and exclaimed, 'Why, because I'm a spy in America?' "

According to the report, Westen initially refused to show the officer his identification, instead asking for the officer's ID. But Westen eventually did show the officer his identification that included his home address.

"The police report says I was engaged in loud and tumultuous behavior. That's a joke," Westen told The Launderer. "It escalated as follows: I kept saying to her, 'What is your name, and what is your badge number?' and she refused to respond. I asked her three times, and she refused to respond. And then I said, 'You're not responding because I'm a spy, and you're only a police officer.'"

Known as Mike by friends and colleagues, Westen is a burned American spy and an acclaimed humanitarian.

While Westen's arrest lit up talk radio and blogs, it prompted others to defend the police against charges of spy profiling.

"I'd be glad if somebody called the police if somebody was driving drunk," neighbor Virgil Watkins told CNN affiliate WDOH.

For others, the incident symbolized something more. Seeing the police mugshot of Westen brought some spies to near tears.

Fiona Glenanne, a Miami gun runner, cultural commentator and blogger, said she grew numb when she saw the mug shot.

"I was not prepared for that," she said. "To see one of my heroes in a mug shot was not something that I was expecting. ... It just tells me we're not in a post-spy society."

She said there's a reason why you don't hear about prominent non spies arrested in their cars: "because it doesn't happen."

It's time for America to have a long overdue national conversation about spies, Glenanne said. "When are we going to have that," she said. "When are we really going to sit down and strip down and say, 'This is what I feel about you and this is what you feel about me. Now, how are we going to get over that?' "

Phillip Cowen, an award-winning author, said the arrest was devastating to scholars, writers, and artists "who work so hard to keep a free flow of information."

"It seems eerily ironic Mr. Westen was returning from China, where surveillance is so high and freedom of speech and ideas so curtailed," Cowen said. "To see the mug shot of Mike was a blow to all of us who feel some sense of safety based on our work to try to mend all of these broken fences in America -- to make ourselves into people who refuse to be limited by profession and class and gender and everything else."

"To end up, at the end of the day, treated like a criminal, unjustly stripped of our accomplishments and contributions even if only for a moment, are profoundly disturbing. We must ask ourselves what it means, and to allow ourselves to face various scenarios regarding power and freedom and how these will intersect in the coming years."

Last week, President Obama spoke at the 100th anniversary of the C.I.A., saying that while spies have made great strides "the pain of discrimination is still felt in America."

"Even as we inherit extraordinary progress that cannot be denied; even as we marvel at the courage and determination of so many plain folks -- we know that too many barriers still remain," the President said.

Axe, the ex-Spy, said Obama "has affected a change in people's consciousness regarding such issues as profession and prejudice." But he said the arrest of Westen underscores that there's more work ahead.

"I think we're moving in the right direction. But no doubt, there still is a lot of work to be done," Axe said. "It's not just a problem here. It's a problem worldwide. Spies are universal."

Westen said he has a newfound understanding of exactly what that means. "There's been a very important symbolic change and that is the election of Barack Obama," he told The Launderer. "But the only spies who truly live in a post-spy world in America all live in a very nice house on 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue."

(To truly understand and appreciate this post, please read THIS and THIS.)

Lyric Wednesdays - The Verve

The song is off The Verve's 1997 album "Urban Hymns."

I had not heard the song until this season's premiere of "Entourage." If Vince can be good looking, rich and powerful, but still alone, what hope is there for the rest of us?

I need to remember that amongst all my gripes and complaints about my life, I am a "Lucky Man."

Happiness
More or less
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Oh, my, my
Happiness
Coming and going
I watch you look at me
Watch my fever growing
I know just where I am

But how many corners do I have to turn?
How many times do I have to learn
All the love I have is in my mind?

But I'm a lucky man
With fire in my hands

Happiness
Something in my own place
I'm stood here naked
Smiling, I feel no disgrace
With who I am

Happiness
Coming and going
I watch you look at me
Watch my fever growing
I know just who I am

But how many corners do I have to turn?
How many times do I have to learn
All the love I have is in my mind?

I hope you understand
I hope you understand

Gotta love that'll never die

Happiness
More or less
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Happiness
Coming and going
I watch you look at me
Watch my fever growing
I know
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my

Gotta love that'll never die
Gotta love that'll never die
No, no
I'm a lucky man

It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Free Michael Westen!



THIS
is bullshit!

Everyone knows he was undercover trying to infiltrate the Miami Police Department to expose corruption. While Michael was being "arrested," Sam and Fiona were searching the cop's car for evidence.

Free Michael Westen!

Monday, July 20, 2009

Movie Mondays - Watchmen


I FINALLY saw "Watchmen." I hate myself for not seeing it in theaters. It is awesome. It is a masterpiece. I cannot wait for the sequel.

Zack Synder is a genius! First, he remade "Dawn of the Dead" and ramped up the tension. Bitch, get out the room! Next, he brought us "300." A great movie in it's own right. Then, along comes the "Watchmen." Did I mention he was a genius? And he's a Wisconsin boy to boot. I have to support the dude.

This movie was based on a graphic novel written by the great Alan Moore, of V for Vendetta fame. Great. Now, I have to spend some more money to buy the comics.

Damn you, "Watchmen!" Why did you have to be so great?

Saturday, July 18, 2009

My Life According to Coldplay!


Using only song names from ONE ARTIST/BAND, I cleverly answered these questions.

Pick your Artist:
Coldplay

Are you a male or female?
"Moses"

Describe yourself:
"A Rush of Blood to the Head"

How do you feel:
"Lost!"

Describe where you currently live:
"In My Place"

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
"Postcards from Far Away"

Your favorite form of transportation:
"Parachutes

Your best friend is:
"Brothers & Sisters"

What's the weather like:
"Rainy Day"

Favorite time of day:
"Daylight"

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
"Death and All His Friends"

What is life to you:
"Help Is Round the Corner"

Your fear:
"Swallowed in the Sea"

What is the best advice you have to give:
"Careful Where You Stand"

Thought for the Day:
"Fix You"

How I would like to die:
"Gravity"

My soul's present condition:
"Low"

My motto:
"Viva la Vida"

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

My How the Mighty Have Fallen

Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a stroll in town one day.

As they walk, they come across a sign: “Contest: Looking for the most beautiful woman in the world.” “I’m entering!” said Snow White.

After the contest she comes out and they ask her, “Well, how’d ya do?” “First Place!” said Snow White. They continue walking and they see a sign: “Contest: Looking for the strongest man in the world.” “I’m entering,” says Superman.

After the contest he returns and they ask him, “How did you make out?” “First Place,” answers Superman. “Was there any doubt?” They continue walking until they see yet another sign: “Contest! Who is the greatest liar in the world?” Naturally, Pinocchio enters.

After the contest he returns with tears in his eyes. “What happened?” they asked. “I came in 2nd; who the hell is this Brett Favre, anyway?” asked Pinocchio.

2009 MLB All-Star Game


Well, the All-Star game is over with the American League winning 4-3. How did the Brewer representatives do? So-so. Ryan Braun did not do anything special. He started and lasted until the 6th when he was pulled for a pinch hitter. Trevor Hoffman pitched 1 inning. He only had to throw 5 pitches to get 3 outs. Prince was robbed. His game experience? 1 pinch hit at-bat. That's it. He made the most of it though. He hit a ground-rule double (above) to drive in the National League's 3rd run.

Ryan Braun: 0-2, Ground out, Fly out

Prince Fielder: 1-1, Double, RBI

Trevor Hoffman: 1 Inning, 1 Hit, 1 Fly out, 1 Double Play Ground Out

Softball Team Names

My buddy Doug is putting together a team for Sheboygan's annual Toys for Tots softball tournament. He asked for me to come up with some team names. I don't think he's got the balls to pick any of these, but here's the list I put together for him with my favorites at the end. (I had some help from my co-workers on a few, which are marked with an asterisk.)

  • R. Kelly's Golden Club VIPs*
  • Honey Nut Ichiros*
  • The Softball Guys
  • The Rorschach Tests
  • The Player's Club
  • Ricky Bobby All-Stars
  • The Jihadists
  • Tom Cruise Fan Club
  • 10 Guys, a Ball and a Dream
  • Doug's Juiced Balls*
  • Sheboygan's Most Wanted (Only if they wear orange jerseys though)
  • The Awkwards*
  • Muggles
  • Deadly Justice League
  • C.O.B.R.A.
  • Meat Bats*
  • Purple Headed Slow Pitch Slingers
  • Michael Jackson Reincarnates
  • The Roundabouts
  • The Floaters
  • Singles for a Day*
  • Barney's Purple Army
  • Mighty Morphin Power Hitters
  • Unsettling Settlers*
  • Shockingly Poignants*
  • The Pete Rose Charlie Hustle All-Stars
  • Towers of Powers
  • Middle Aged Adolescents
  • Recovering Stalkers
  • Asylum Escapees
  • Ginger Gang
  • Quahog Supremacists
  • The Johns
  • Hurt Sticks
  • Fully Clothed Nudists
  • Silent Assassins*
  • Temporarily Singles
  • The Barry White Experience*
Runner Up: The Hung Like a Curveballs

Favorite: The Guys Outside Your Bedroom Window

Lyric Wednesdays - Inner Circle

Due to some unforeseen circumstances (Michael Jackson and Steve McNair's passing) the last few weeks, I did not complete my goal of back-to-back Lyric Wednesdays that pay tribute to my only two friends that consistently ask me to do things.

This week's entry is a tribute to Doug. If you know Doug, you know why this song represents him to a T. It is also the ringtone when he calls me.

The song is most notably known as the theme song for "Cops," but it originally could be found on Inner Circle's 1987 album "One Way."

So put your back to wall and prepare for the "Bad Boys."

CHORUS:
Bad boys, bad boys
Whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do
When they come for you
(Repeat)

Bad boys
Whatcha want, watcha want
Whatcha gonna do
When sheriff John Brown come for you
Tell me
Whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna dooo
Yeaheah

CHORUS

When you were eight
And you had bad traits
You go to school
And learn the golden rule
So why are you
Acting like a bloody fool
If you get hot
You must get cool

CHORUS

You chuck it on that one
You chuck it on this one
You chuck it on your mother and
You chuck it on your father
You chuck it on your brother and
You chuck it on your sister
You chuck it on that one and
You chuck it on me

CHORUS
(Repeat)

Nobody naw give you no break
Police naw give you no break
Soldier naw give you no break
Not even you idren naw give you no break
Hehe

CHORUS
(Repeat)

Why did you have to act so mean
Don'T you know you're human being
Born of a mother with the love of a father
Reflections come and reflections go
I know sometimes you want to let go
Hehehe
I know sometimes you want to let go

CHORUS
(Repeat)
-You're too bad, you're too cool-
-You're too bad, you're too cool-
(Repeat)

You chuck it on that one
You chuck it on this one
You chuck it on your mother and
You chuck it on your father
You chuck it on your brother and
You chuck it on your sister
You chuck it on that one and
You chuck it on me

CHORUS
(repeat to the end)

Monday, July 13, 2009

Congratulations, Prince!



That was an amazing display of power especially the 497 and 503 foot blasts. Thanks for making the Brew Crew fans proud! I really enjoyed the Ryan Braun celebration and the customary jersey untucking. Way to stick it to those stuck up Cardinal fans. Hey, Cardinal fans...where's your Pujols now?

What is Wrong with this Picture?


It pains me to see two ex-Brewers earn spots in the All-Star game. Nelson Cruz would look awesome in the Brew Crew outfield this year and Francisco Cordero would definitely be a boost to the bullpen.

Hindsight is 20/20 though. I do not fault Melvin much. He offered Cordero a comparable contract to stay. So no fault there. However, Nelson Cruz had to be included to get Cordero and Mench. (Are you fucking kidding me? Kevin Mench? I hope he's enjoying the Japan leagues.) Nonetheless, Texas did place Cruz on waivers so the Brewers could have gotten him back for nothing. That was a missed opportunity.

Cordero pulled a Steve Miller Band and took the money and ran so fuck him. He left a contender for the Reds. (Really? The Reds? Obviously, winning was not a requirement for you.) You can take your 40 million dollars, you're hollow stats, the Reds 90 plus losses and then go fuck yourself. Cruz? I can only imagine a murderers row of Braun-Fielder-Cruz. That 3-4-5 would be comparable to the best of all-time. Yes. Best. Of. All. Time.

Movie Mondays - Get Smart Edition


"Get Smart" is one of the only movies I've ever watched then immediately watched again. Anne Hathaway is at her sexy best and Steve Carrell might be the funniest man in movies now. Put that all together, sprinkle in some action, toss in a great Bill Murray cameo and serve with scenes shot around the world. That is the recipe for a great movie.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Saturday Night at the Park

Gotcha Bitch...Again...Again!


After the FIRST time it happened, I did not think it would happen again. After the SECOND time it happened, I was positive his tags were not going to be taken again. I seem to be wrong a lot. Murda, can you hear me? Gotcha Bitch!

Retard - The Term

For some reason I am comfortable calling my friends "Retards" or when they do something stupid, I say that was "Retarded." However, when I see someone who is actually mentally handicapped, I cannot say it. I just feel bad and ashamed to use that term.

Maybe this is proof that I have a soul...maybe.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Lyric Wednesdays - Simon and Garfunkel

In wake of a few sports idols sullying their reputation recently, I have decided this week's lyrics entry will be the classic Simon and Garfunkel tune off their 1968 album "Bookends." It is a tune that I have listened to since I was knee high to a grasshopper. (Thanks to the AM radio in the Granada.)

With Steve McNair's torrid love affairs popping up and Brett Favre contemplating whether or not to wear purple, which everyone knows he will, where have you gone Joe DiMaggio?
So here's to you, Mrs. Robinson...

And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson
Jesus loves you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
God bless you please, Mrs. Robinson
Heaven holds a place for those who pray
(Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey)

We'd like to know a little bit about you for our files
We'd like to help you learn to help yourself
Look around you, all you see are sympathetic eyes
Stroll around the grounds until you feel at home

And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson
Jesus loves you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
God bless you please, Mrs. Robinson
Heaven holds a place for those who pray
(Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey)

Hide it in a hiding place where no one ever goes
Put it in your pantry with your cupcakes
It's a little secret, just the Robinsons' affair
Most of all, you've got to hide it from the kids

Coo, coo, ca-choo, Mrs Robinson
Jesus loves you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
God bless you please, Mrs. Robinson
Heaven holds a place for those who pray
(Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey)

Sitting on a sofa on a Sunday afternoon
Going to the candidates debate
Laugh about it, shout about it
When you've got to choose
Ev'ry way you look at it, you lose

Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio
A nation turns its lonely eyes to you (Woo, woo, woo)
What's that you say, Mrs. Robinson
Joltin' Joe has left and gone away
(Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey)

Monday, July 6, 2009

Movie Mondays - Yes Man Edition


"Yes Man" was the right movie to watch at the right time. I was feeling down. I bit blue. I decided on a comedy. Good choice. Jim Carrey is at his comedic best. (Not physical comedy like "Ace Ventura," but subtle comedy that brings smiles and laughs, not juvenile chuckles.) The whole movie oozes charm. It was a great pick-me-up at a time when I needed it.

Plus, Zooey I-Can't-Spell-Or-Say-Her-Last-Name is attractive in a I want to marry you and ravage our bodies together for an eternity kind of way. And her voice is amazing!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Gamerscore Whoring Final Tally


So my MONTH of gamerscore whoring is over. How did I do? So-so.

My goal for June was to get an achievement a day. I met my goal easily. There were only 5 days when I earned a single achievement.

My secondary goals were to earn 20,000 points and finish 10 games. I did not achieve either. An epic fail! I only added 19,575 points bringing my total score to 25,505. I missed finishing 10 games by only 1 game. I completed 8 retail and 1 arcade game. It should have been easy to complete 10 games; however, in 2K Sports infinite wisdom, they shut down the servers for every game that did not have 2k9 in the title. Bullshit!

On a side note, I am also now at 70 consecutive days played on my 360. My old streak was 63. I'm shooting for 100. Wish me luck!

I did have big scare when it came to continuing my streak. On June 16th, Microsoft took XBOX Live offline for 24+ hours for maintenance. Luckily, I did play offline that day plus 360voice.com erased that day from existence so it would not effect anyone's streak.

So here is my final gamerscore tally:
Achievements Earned: 513 (17.1 achievements per day)
Points Earned: 19,575 (652.5 points per day)
Biggest Achievement Day: June 30 (125 achievements)
Biggest Point Day: June 27 (4,240 points)
Finished Games: 9
  • Madden 08
  • NCAA March Madness 07
  • NCAA March Madness 08
  • NCAA Basketball MME (Arcade)
  • NBA 2k6
  • College Hoops 2k6
  • MLB 2k6
  • Avatar: TLA: TBE
  • Fight Night Round 3
June 1st Gamerscore - 5,960
June 30th Gamerscore - 25,505

Final Thoughts...I think the month was fun. However, I am glad that I do not whore everyday anymore. It was long and tedious. Although, there is nothing better than hearing the "ding" of an achievement pop. I will do it again next year, but I will savor the time in between. Plus, with Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 and Battlefield: Bad Company 2 dropping by the end of the year, I will not have much time for whoring.

Thinking back, maybe June was not the greatest month for my whoring adventure. There were a few days when I did not have time to play much. Three different Brewers games, Father's Day, and Doug's 30th birthday all took time away. Next year I'll plan better. Plus, Battlefield: Bad Company monopolized most of my time. It was hard to say no when Murda texted "Wanna kill?" Some days, bitches just need to be killed.

I also wanted to make the point that I did not use game saves or SPGs. I was tempted as the clock ticked down, but then I realized that the only person I'd be cheating was myself. I'd rather fail honestly then succeed with cheats.

On a lighter note, my first achievement in June was "King of the Hill" in MLB 2k9. My last achievement was "Press START to Play" in The Simpsons Game. It was the easiest achievement...ever. No, really. The game told me it was.

In the meantime, I can FINALLY leave the house! W00T! W00T!

Lyric Wednesdays - Michael Jackson

In the wake of Michael's untimely death, I decided to make this week's entry my favorite Michael song. It was off his 1982 mega-hit album, "Thriller."

I love this song for many reasons. One, it was made into one of Weird Al's greatest parody songs. Two, we danced to it at my sister's wedding. We split into two lines and took turns dancing down the middle of the rows. When it was Jeff's turn, he leaned back on one hand, hopped down the row and air-slapped the ugly chick's ass in front of him. Arguably my favorite moment during the reception. Third, it's just a great song that puts me in a good mood every time I hear it.

So if you're feeling down after a crappy day at work, just "Beat It."

They told him don't you ever come around here
Don't wanna see your face, you better disappear
The fire's in their eyes and their words are really clear
So beat it, just beat it

You better run, you better do what you can
Don't wanna see no blood, don't be a macho man (Uh)
You wanna be tough, better do what you can
So beat it, but you wanna be bad

Just beat it (beat it) beat it (beat it)
No one wants to be defeated
Showin' how funky strong it's your fight
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right
Just beat it, beat it
Just beat it, beat it
Just beat it, beat it
Just beat it, beat it

Uh!

They're out to get you, better leave while you can
Don't wanna be a boy, you wanna be a man
You wanna stay alive, better do what you can
So beat it, just beat it (Uh)

You have to show them that you're really not scared (Uh)
You're playin' with your life, this ain't no truth or dare (Uh)
They'll kick you, then they beat you,
Then they'll tell you it's fair
So beat it, but you wanna be bad

Just beat it (beat it), beat it (beat it)
No one wants to be defeated
Showin' how funky strong it's your fight
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right

CHORUS
Just beat it (beat it) beat it (beat it)
No one wants to be defeated
Showin' how funky strong it's your fight
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right
Just beat it

Beat it (beat it) beat it (beat it)
No one wants to be defeated
Showin' how funky strong it's your fight
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right
(Oooh, right!)
(Wooohooo)

Just beat it (beat it) beat it (beat it)
No one wants to be defeated (Oh, lord)
Showin' how funky (Eeh, eeh) strong it's your fight (Eeh, eeh)
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right

Just beat it (beat it) beat it (beat it)
No one wants to be defeated (Oh, no)
Showin' how funky (Eeh, eeh) strong it's your fight (Eeh, eeh)
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right

Just beat it (beat it) beat it (beat it)
No one wants to be defeated
Showin' how funky strong it's your fight
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right (Who’s wrong)
Just beat it (beat it) (Wooohooo)
Beat it, beat it, beat it

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Gamerscore Whoring Scorecard (Second Half)

I'll keep this updated throughout my month of trying to increase my gamerscore (a.k.a. whoring!) This scorecard will cover the second half of June.

Day With Most Achievements - June 30 (125 achievements)

Day With Most Points - June 27 (4,240 points)

June 16 - 13,960 points - Added: 800 points - To Goal: 11,975 points
NCAA March Madness 07 (16 for 800)

June 17 - 13,970 points - Added: 10 points - To Goal: 11,965 points
Pinball FX (1 for 10)

June 18 - 13,980 points - Added: 10 points - To Goal: 11,955 points
Pac-Man (2 for 10)

June 19 - 13,990 points - Added: 10 points - To Goal: 11,945 points
Pac-Man (1 for 10)

June 20 - 14,000 points - Added: points - To Goal: 11,935 points
3D Ultra Minigolf (1 for 10)

June 21 - 14,040 points - Added: 40 points - To Goal: 11,895 points
Golden Axe (4 for 40)

June 22 - 16,040 points - Added: 2,000 points - To Goal: 9,895 points
MLB 2k6 (5 for 1,000)
Avatar: TLA: TBE (5 for 1,000)

June 23 - 16,100 points - Added: 60 points - To Goal: 9,835 points
Track and Field (5 for 60)

June 24 - 16,105 points - Added: 5 points - To Goal: 9,830 points
Ms. Pac-Man (1 for 5)

June 25 - 16,810 points - Added: 710 points - To Goal: 9,120 points
NBA Live 07 (11 for 700)
Switchball (1 for 5)

June 26 - 17,010 points - Added: 200 points - To Goal: 8,920 points
NBA Live 07 (3 for 200)

June 27 - 21,250 points - Added: 4,240 points - To Goal: 4,680 points
College Hoops 2k6 (5 for 1,000)
NBA Live 06 (11 for 960)
NBA 2k9 (40 for 770)
NHL 2k6 (4 for 750)
NHL 2k7 (10 for 510)
NHL 07 (7 for 250)

June 28 - 21,325 points - Added: 75 points - To Goal: 4,605 points
NHL 07 (3 for 75)

June 29 - 21,585 points - Added: 260 points - To Goal: 4,345 points
NCAA March Madness 07 (3 for 60)
NHL 07 (6 for 200)

June 30 - 25,505 points - Added: 3,920 points - To Goal: 425 points
Fight Night Round 3 (8 for 1,000)
College Hoops 2k7 (12 for 225)
College Hoops 2k8 (17 for 530)
Madden 06 (10 for 600)
Madden 07 (24 for 355)
NCAA Football 07 (28 for 490)
NCAA Football 08 (12 for 215)
Jumper (6 for 300)
NHL 08 (7 for 200)
The Simpsons Game (1 for 5)

Monday, June 29, 2009

The Mets at Miller

Movie Mondays - Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Edition


I do NOT understand all the Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen hate. It seems as though every critic and non-fanboy hates it...with a passion.

I imagine Michael Bay as Russell Crowe's character in "Gladiator." He's standing in the coliseum in front of all his critics and haters, yelling "Are you not entertained?"

That's what this movie is - entertainment. It's not Citizen Kane. It's not even trying to be. It's laugh out loud funny. It has huge explosions. It has Transformers battling each other to the death. And of course, it has Megan Fox. Ooooh, Megan my lovely.

Transformers is a fun movie.

Here is how I described it to Matt..."Imagine for a second that Megan Fox fucked another Megan Fox and they had a daughter and then Scarlett Johansson fucked Natalie Portman and they had a daughter. Then the Megan Fox daughter and the Scarlett/Natalie daughter fucked and they had a daughter. That kid would be "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen."

Enough said.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Lyric Wednesdays - Three 6 Mafia

I've decided to make the next two Lyric Wednesdays in honor of the only two friends that consistently want to do things with me. I have other friends that I do things with, but 9 times out of 10 I'm the one having to initiate it.

This week's entry is a Three 6 Mafia song that Murda was rolling up to when he drove down to Madison to hang with Matt and I. It is now his ringtone when he calls or texts, which he does often. Usually to ask if I want to kill. When Murda and I are rolling on the Battlefield, it is a sight to behold.

The song is off the Oscar-Award winning group Three 6 Mafia's 2006 album, "Most Known Unknown."

So what does Murda say right before he knifes someone in Battlefield? Let's Plan a Robbery!

Lets plan a robbery, (a robbery) (lets go...)
Lets plan a robbery (a robbery)
Lets plan a robbery, (a robbery) (lets go...)
Lets plan a robbery (a robbery)

See I was on the North, North side in the projects cutterfield
And dats where the the dope dealer nigga really live
See they sold crack, and they sold weed too
They specialize in cooking up the dope food
To get it out, so the junkies can smoke too
But me my nigga, I been smoking out chu
And you ain't you cause yall been cutting up du
I think I'ma have to touch ur ass with a tool
Its easy come easy go yall know the rule
HCP motherfucker you know I'll cut loose
And if you got it, I'ma have to touch you
Like knocking on your door and holla trick-or-treat fool
Its Halloween motherfucker, don't let this motherfucker sight you
A robbery to a muderery dance clue
So any way that you want it, I got chu
Its one way hallway nigga, so fuck you

Lets plan a robbery, (a robbery) (lets go...)
Lets plan a robbery (a robbery)
Lets plan a robbery, (a robbery) (lets go...)
Lets plan a robbery (a robbery)

(chorus continues with next part)

You see Im good with this yay, but im better with these guns
Im at your door to collect these funds

You see Im good with this yay, but im better with these guns
Im at your door to collect these funds...

(chorus ends)

I ran up in his spot, with the glock, his jaw dropped
he knew I came for money and da weight I heard he got
I cracked him in the middle of his face with da tone
tied his ass up and ransacked his home
I had to rape his bitch cuz da hoe was stacked
I fucked her from the back, with my gun to her back
I vamped up out his crib, with dolla and purple hair
but eventually got caught becuz of a dick hair (fuck!)

Dont let me find out that you got that dope
dont let me find out that you snitchin on folks
dont let me find out that you tryna get rich
ridin round' da fuckin' hood and they found a niggas shit
dont let me find out, feds tap a nigga phone
dont let me find out, cuz if I find out its on
dont let me find out that niggas sellin purple drank
cuz imma rob all dem fools, like I robbed 20 banks, yeh!

Lets plan a robbery, (a robbery) (lets go...)
Lets plan a robbery (a robbery)
Lets plan a robbery, (a robbery) (lets go...)
Lets plan a robbery (a robbery)

(chorus continues with next part)

You see Im good with this yay, but im better with these guns
Im at your door to collect these funds

You see Im good with this yay, but im better with these guns
Im at your door to collect these funds...

(chorus ends)

o-right
o-o-o-right
o-right
o-o-o-right
o-right
o-o-o-right

Monday, June 22, 2009

Movie Mondays - Finding Forrester Edition


This is one of my favorite movies. "Finding Forrester" is a movie about redemption, finding yourself, putting faith in a stranger and staying true to oneself. It is a touching movie, directed by a true artist, Gus Van Sant.

Other than all those great things, why do I love "Finding Forrester?" It inspired me to write. When a movie inspires someone then it is a great movie.

"Finding Forrester" is a great movie.

Gotcha Bitch...Again!


After the LAST time I got Murda, I did not think it would happen again. I was wrong.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Lyric Wednesdays - The Allman Brothers Band

I was feeling a bit down this week so I choose the latest entry off The Allman Brothers Band's 1994 album, Where It All Begins.

This song is great to crank to 11 while driving around in my truck. It is the perfect pick-me-up when I'm feeling crappy. Like when friends blow me off or financial issues got me down or when I feel like I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life.

Sometimes it feels that there is "No One to Run With..."

Everybody wants to know where Jimmy has gone
He left town, I doubt if he's coming back home

Well Tony got a job, three kids and a lovely wife
Working at the commerce bank for the rest of his life

[Chorus]
Nobody left to run with anymore
Nobody left to do the crazy things we used to do before
Nobody left to run with anymore

I'm gonna hit the road, adios my friend
Go someplace and start all over again

Don't know where I'm going, like a gypsy out on the road
I'll go someplace and join a traveling show

[Chorus]
Nobody left to run with anymore
Nobody wants to do the crazy things we used to do before
Nobody left to run with anymore

Nobody left to run with anymore
Nobody left to run with anymore


I think Jimmy must have had the right idea
Packed his stuff and he got right out of here

I don't know where he's at but I'm sure that he's ok
Now I realize what Jimmy was trying to say

[Chorus]
Nobody left to run with anymore
Nobody wants to do the crazy things we used to do before
Nobody left to run with anymore

Nobody left to run with anymore
Nobody left to run with anymore

Monday, June 15, 2009

Gamerscore Whoring Scorecard (First Half)

I'll keep this updated throughout my month of trying to increase my gamerscore (a.k.a. whoring!) This scorecard will cover the first half of June.

Day With Most Achievements - June 13 (82 achievements)

Day With Most Points - June 13 (2,535 points)

June 1 - 6,070 points - Added: 110 points - To Goal: 19,890 points
MLB 2k9 (2 for 15)
NCAA March Madness 2008 (5 for 95)

June 2 - 6,585 points - Added: 115 points - To Goal: 19,375 points
NCAA March Madness 2008 (12 for 515)

June 3 - 6,625 points - Added: 40 points - To Goal: 19,335 points
Tetris Splash (4 for 40)

June 4 - 6, 650 points - Added: 50 points - To Goal: 19,285 points
Frogger (2 for 25)

June 5 - 6,980 points - Added: 330 points - To Goal: 18,955 points
MLB 2k8 (17 for 330)

June 6 - 8,205 points - Added: 1,225 points - To Goal: 17,730points
MLB 2k8 (5 for 140)
MLB 2k9 (5 for 85)
Madden 08 (48 for 1,000)

June 7 - 8,820 points - Added: 615 points - To Goal: 17,115 points
MLB 2k7 (16 for 615)

June 8 - 8,845 points - Added: 25 points - To Goal: 17,090 points
NCAA Basketball MME (1 for 25)

June 9 - 9,020 points - Added: 175 points - To Goal: 16,915 points
NCAA Basketball MME (3 for 175)

June 10 - 9,420 points - Added: 400 points - To Goal: 16,515 points
NCAA March Madness 08 (8 for 390)
Wolfenstein 3D (1 for 10)

June 11 - 9,470 points - Added: 50 points - To Goal: 16,465 points
Wolfenstein 3D (3 for 50)

June 12 - 9,485 points - Added: 15 points - To Goal: 16,450 points
Sonic the Hedgehog (2 for 15)

June 13 - 12,020 points - Added: 2,535 points - To Goal: 13,915 points
NBA 2k6 (5 for 1,000)
NBA 2k7 (40 for 820)
NBA 2k8 (37 for 715)

June 14 - 13,020 points - Added: 1,000 points - To Goal: 12,915 points
NBA Live 08 (26 for 1,000)

June 15 - 13,160 points - Added: 140 points - To Goal: 12,775 points
NCAA March Madness 07 (6 for 140)

Movie Mondays - Sex Drive Edition


"Sex Drive" is a funny road trip, romantic, buddy comedy. It is definitely worth a look. But why did I make it this week's entry? That's simple.

On the unrated version, the screenwriters warn you to watch the rated version first. And they are not joking. The unrated version is cut with green screen hotties, Photoshopped penises and blooper clips. It is definitely the version to get, but watch the rated version first. It's coherent. Coherent and funny.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

When Is a Friend, No Longer a Friend?

What does a friend have to do to no longer be considered a friend? How many times must one invite a friend to do something and he declines before one no longer asks? How many lies must one be told before all trust is gone? How awkward do situations have to get until one stops being around the friend? How many times does a friend have to disappoint another before he no longer is a friend?

I'm guessing that if I'm asking the questions, I already know the answers.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Lyric Wednesdays - Tina Turner

This week's entry is in honor of my sister and her birthday. I asked her what her favorite song is and she said this Tina Turner classic off Tina's 1989 "Foreign Affair" album. It is fitting since she is the best sister in the world.

Kristy, you're "Simply The Best!"

I call you when I need you, my heart's on fire
You come to me, come to me wild and wired
Mmm, you come to me
Give me everything I need
Give me a lifetime of promises and a world of dreams
Speak a language of love like you know what it means
Mmm, it can't be wrong
Take my heart and make it strong, baby

You're simply the best, better than all the rest
Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met
I'm stuck on your heart, I hang on every word you say
Tear us apart no, no, baby, I would rather be dead

In your heart I see the star of every night and every day
In your eyes I get lost, I get washed away
Just as long as I'm here in your arms
I could be in no better place

You're simply the best, better than all the rest
Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met
I'm stuck on your heart, I hang on every word you say
Tear us apart no, no, baby, I would rather be dead

Each time you leave me I start losing control
You're walking away with my heart and my soul
I can feel you even when I'm alone
Oh baby, don't let go

Ooh you're the best (woo)
Better than all the rest
Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met
Ooh, I'm stuck on your heart

I hang on every word you say
Don't tear us apart no, no, no
Baby, I would rather be dead
Oooh, you're the best!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

My Ode to "B"


I need to get something off my chest. I do not like "B." In fact, I despise her. I loathe her being.

And if you must know why, here goes...

She is a vulgar little maggot, a worthless bag of filth. She couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the instructions on the heel. She is a canker, a sore that won't go away.

She is degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing she exists. I despise everything about her. She is a bloody nard less twit protohominid chromosomally aberrant caricature of a coprophagic cloacal parasitic pond scum, and I wish she would go away.

She is a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. She is a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. She is a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Her life is a monument to stupidity. She is a stench, a revulsion, a putrefaction, a big suck on a sour lemon with a lime twist.

She is a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying her alleged birth into this world; an insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts that spawned her and then killed themselves in regret for what they had done.

I will never get over the utter feelings of debasement from belonging to the same species as “B.” She is a monster, an ogre, a malformation. I barf at the very thought of her. She has all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid her. She is vile, worthless, less than nothing. She is a weed, a fungus, a ferment, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention that she smells?

If she isn't an idiot, she is making a world-class effort at simulating one.

She is a snail-skulled little twit. Would that a hawk pick her up, drive its beak into her brain, and upon finding it rancid set her loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of her ignoble blood. May she choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of her own trite, foolish beliefs.

She is weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. She is grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. She is foul and disgusting. She is a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on her. Even sheep won't have sex with her. Her hand even refuses autoerotism. She is unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.

And yet she expects her delusional self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have meaning with us. She blindly fantasizes that her tiny-fisted tantrums have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake.

She is a waste of flesh. She has no rhythm. She is ridiculous and obnoxious. She is the moral equivalent of a leech. She is a living emptiness, a meaningless void. She is sour and senile. She is a disease; a puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meat slapper.

On a good day she’s a half-wit. She reminds me of drool. She is deficient in all that lends character. She has the personality of wallpaper. She is dank and filthy. She is asinine and benighted. She is the source of all unpleasantness. She spreads misery and sorrow wherever she goes.

I cannot believe how incredibly stupid she is. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid. So stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. She is trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularly stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on the warm side of Mercury stupid. She emits more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Her life must be blatant trolling, for nothing in our universe can really be that stupid. Perhaps she is some primordial fragment from the original Big Bang of Stupid; some pure essence of stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me.

If I traded “B” for shit, I would probably have to throw in a six-pack of warm Pabst Blue Ribbon just to make it an even deal.

Other than that, I have no problem with the girl.

Celebrating a Birthday at Miller Park

Happy Birthday, Kristy!

Monday, June 8, 2009

Movie Mondays - Fanboys Edition


After this shot, why would you not want to see "Fanboys?"

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Lyric Wednesdays - Malvina Reynolds

In honor of the new season of "Weeds" beginning, this week's entry is it's wonderfully catchy theme song. "Weeds" is a great show that more people should watch. I think some people are scared away because of the obvious drug content, but the show is so much more than that.

The song was originally written and performed by Malvina Reynolds off her album "Ear To The Ground." However, I found it because of "Weeds." The producers have a different artist preform the song each week. (At least they did for the first two seasons.) The song was selected because the houses of Agrestic are all "Little Boxes."

Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes made of ticky tacky,
Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes all the same.
There's a green one and a pink one
And a blue one and a yellow one,
And they're all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.

And the people in the houses
All went to the university,
Where they were put in boxes
And they came out all the same,
And there's doctors and lawyers,
And business executives,
And they're all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.

And they all play on the golf course
And drink their martinis dry,
And they all have pretty children
And the children go to school,
And the children go to summer camp
And then to the university,
Where they are put in boxes
And they come out all the same.

And the boys go into business
And marry and raise a family
In boxes made of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.
There's a green one and a pink one
And a blue one and a yellow one,
And they're all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Customers Are "Special"


An actual call at work today...
"Thank you for calling ___. My name is Mark. How may I help you?"
"Yes. Thanks, Mike. I'm calling to get some account information."
"I can definitely help you with that. May I have your account number please?"
"My account number or card number?"
Seriously? First of all, my name is Mark. I speak extremely clearly. I've been called Clark already. Okay, maybe. It rhymes. But I've also been called Eric, Bob and other names. PLEASE LISTEN! My willingness to help you drops rapidly if you do not listen. Plus, if you do not listen to my name, what else will you not listen to?

Secondly, if I ask for your account number, I'm asking for the account number. The phrase "card number" never left my mouth. If I needed the card number, I would have said, "May I have your card number please?" It would be like going to McDonald's and asking for a Big Mac and the cashier asking you "Big Mac or Fillet 'o Fish?" If I wanted a fucking Fillet 'o Fish, I would have fucking asked for it.

Morons. The world is full of them. Unfortunately, most of them have phones and I am on the other line.

Monday, June 1, 2009

And So It Begins...

My month of gamerscore whoring has begun!

I started out today with Major League Baseball 2K9. I beat the Home Run derby to earn the King of the Hill achievement and a few moments later unlocked an achievement for earning all the trading cards.

It's going to be a long month. Long, but fun. Very, very fun!

Movie Mondays - Stick It Edition


"Stick It" has two things going for it that make it a must see. First, Jeff Bridges plays a major role. He was "The Dude." I'd watch him read the newspaper because he'd still be cooler than me. Second, Missy Peregrym. She's hot as hell! And since "Reaper" was canceled prematurely, I need my Missy fix.

"Stick It" is a good movie. After about 10 viewings, it has definitely cemented it's place on my "guilty pleasure" list. You should add it to yours!