Gamerscore Whoring Scorecard (Second Half)

I'll keep this updated throughout my month of trying to increase my gamerscore (a.k.a. whoring!) This scorecard will cover the second half of June.

Day With Most Achievements - June 30 (125 achievements)

Day With Most Points - June 27 (4,240 points)

June 16 - 13,960 points - Added: 800 points - To Goal: 11,975 points
NCAA March Madness 07 (16 for 800)

June 17 - 13,970 points - Added: 10 points - To Goal: 11,965 points
Pinball FX (1 for 10)

June 18 - 13,980 points - Added: 10 points - To Goal: 11,955 points
Pac-Man (2 for 10)

June 19 - 13,990 points - Added: 10 points - To Goal: 11,945 points
Pac-Man (1 for 10)

June 20 - 14,000 points - Added: points - To Goal: 11,935 points
3D Ultra Minigolf (1 for 10)

June 21 - 14,040 points - Added: 40 points - To Goal: 11,895 points
Golden Axe (4 for 40)

June 22 - 16,040 points - Added: 2,000 points - To Goal: 9,895 points
MLB 2k6 (5 for 1,000)
Avatar: TLA: TBE (5 for 1,000)

June 23 - 16,100 points - Added: 60 points - To Goal: 9,835 points
Track and Field (5 for 60)

June 24 - 16,105 points - Added: 5 points - To Goal: 9,830 points
Ms. Pac-Man (1 for 5)

June 25 - 16,810 points - Added: 710 points - To Goal: 9,120 points
NBA Live 07 (11 for 700)
Switchball (1 for 5)

June 26 - 17,010 points - Added: 200 points - To Goal: 8,920 points
NBA Live 07 (3 for 200)

June 27 - 21,250 points - Added: 4,240 points - To Goal: 4,680 points
College Hoops 2k6 (5 for 1,000)
NBA Live 06 (11 for 960)
NBA 2k9 (40 for 770)
NHL 2k6 (4 for 750)
NHL 2k7 (10 for 510)
NHL 07 (7 for 250)

June 28 - 21,325 points - Added: 75 points - To Goal: 4,605 points
NHL 07 (3 for 75)

June 29 - 21,585 points - Added: 260 points - To Goal: 4,345 points
NCAA March Madness 07 (3 for 60)
NHL 07 (6 for 200)

June 30 - 25,505 points - Added: 3,920 points - To Goal: 425 points
Fight Night Round 3 (8 for 1,000)
College Hoops 2k7 (12 for 225)
College Hoops 2k8 (17 for 530)
Madden 06 (10 for 600)
Madden 07 (24 for 355)
NCAA Football 07 (28 for 490)
NCAA Football 08 (12 for 215)
Jumper (6 for 300)
NHL 08 (7 for 200)
The Simpsons Game (1 for 5)

The Mets at Miller

Movie Mondays - Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Edition

I do NOT understand all the Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen hate. It seems as though every critic and non-fanboy hates it...with a passion.

I imagine Michael Bay as Russell Crowe's character in "Gladiator." He's standing in the coliseum in front of all his critics and haters, yelling "Are you not entertained?"

That's what this movie is - entertainment. It's not Citizen Kane. It's not even trying to be. It's laugh out loud funny. It has huge explosions. It has Transformers battling each other to the death. And of course, it has Megan Fox. Ooooh, Megan my lovely.

Transformers is a fun movie.

Here is how I described it to Matt..."Imagine for a second that Megan Fox fucked another Megan Fox and they had a daughter and then Scarlett Johansson fucked Natalie Portman and they had a daughter. Then the Megan Fox daughter and the Scarlett/Natalie daughter fucked and they had a daughter. That kid would be "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen."

Enough said.

Jason Kendall Bobble Head Doll Day

Lyric Wednesdays - Three 6 Mafia

I've decided to make the next two Lyric Wednesdays in honor of the only two friends that consistently want to do things with me. I have other friends that I do things with, but 9 times out of 10 I'm the one having to initiate it.

This week's entry is a Three 6 Mafia song that Murda was rolling up to when he drove down to Madison to hang with Matt and I. It is now his ringtone when he calls or texts, which he does often. Usually to ask if I want to kill. When Murda and I are rolling on the Battlefield, it is a sight to behold.

The song is off the Oscar-Award winning group Three 6 Mafia's 2006 album, "Most Known Unknown."

So what does Murda say right before he knifes someone in Battlefield? Let's Plan a Robbery!

Lets plan a robbery, (a robbery) (lets go...)
Lets plan a robbery (a robbery)
Lets plan a robbery, (a robbery) (lets go...)
Lets plan a robbery (a robbery)

See I was on the North, North side in the projects cutterfield
And dats where the the dope dealer nigga really live
See they sold crack, and they sold weed too
They specialize in cooking up the dope food
To get it out, so the junkies can smoke too
But me my nigga, I been smoking out chu
And you ain't you cause yall been cutting up du
I think I'ma have to touch ur ass with a tool
Its easy come easy go yall know the rule
HCP motherfucker you know I'll cut loose
And if you got it, I'ma have to touch you
Like knocking on your door and holla trick-or-treat fool
Its Halloween motherfucker, don't let this motherfucker sight you
A robbery to a muderery dance clue
So any way that you want it, I got chu
Its one way hallway nigga, so fuck you

Lets plan a robbery, (a robbery) (lets go...)
Lets plan a robbery (a robbery)
Lets plan a robbery, (a robbery) (lets go...)
Lets plan a robbery (a robbery)

(chorus continues with next part)

You see Im good with this yay, but im better with these guns
Im at your door to collect these funds

You see Im good with this yay, but im better with these guns
Im at your door to collect these funds...

(chorus ends)

I ran up in his spot, with the glock, his jaw dropped
he knew I came for money and da weight I heard he got
I cracked him in the middle of his face with da tone
tied his ass up and ransacked his home
I had to rape his bitch cuz da hoe was stacked
I fucked her from the back, with my gun to her back
I vamped up out his crib, with dolla and purple hair
but eventually got caught becuz of a dick hair (fuck!)

Dont let me find out that you got that dope
dont let me find out that you snitchin on folks
dont let me find out that you tryna get rich
ridin round' da fuckin' hood and they found a niggas shit
dont let me find out, feds tap a nigga phone
dont let me find out, cuz if I find out its on
dont let me find out that niggas sellin purple drank
cuz imma rob all dem fools, like I robbed 20 banks, yeh!

Lets plan a robbery, (a robbery) (lets go...)
Lets plan a robbery (a robbery)
Lets plan a robbery, (a robbery) (lets go...)
Lets plan a robbery (a robbery)

(chorus continues with next part)

You see Im good with this yay, but im better with these guns
Im at your door to collect these funds

You see Im good with this yay, but im better with these guns
Im at your door to collect these funds...

(chorus ends)

o-right
o-o-o-right
o-right
o-o-o-right
o-right
o-o-o-right

Movie Mondays - Finding Forrester Edition

This is one of my favorite movies. "Finding Forrester" is a movie about redemption, finding yourself, putting faith in a stranger and staying true to oneself. It is a touching movie, directed by a true artist, Gus Van Sant.

Other than all those great things, why do I love "Finding Forrester?" It inspired me to write. When a movie inspires someone then it is a great movie.

"Finding Forrester" is a great movie.

Gotcha Bitch...Again!

After the LAST time I got Murda, I did not think it would happen again. I was wrong.

Happy Father's Day!

I love you, Dad!

Lyric Wednesdays - The Allman Brothers Band

I was feeling a bit down this week so I choose the latest entry off The Allman Brothers Band's 1994 album, Where It All Begins.

This song is great to crank to 11 while driving around in my truck. It is the perfect pick-me-up when I'm feeling crappy. Like when friends blow me off or financial issues got me down or when I feel like I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life.

Sometimes it feels that there is "No One to Run With..."

Everybody wants to know where Jimmy has gone
He left town, I doubt if he's coming back home

Well Tony got a job, three kids and a lovely wife
Working at the commerce bank for the rest of his life

[Chorus]
Nobody left to run with anymore
Nobody left to do the crazy things we used to do before
Nobody left to run with anymore

I'm gonna hit the road, adios my friend
Go someplace and start all over again

Don't know where I'm going, like a gypsy out on the road
I'll go someplace and join a traveling show

[Chorus]
Nobody left to run with anymore
Nobody wants to do the crazy things we used to do before
Nobody left to run with anymore

Nobody left to run with anymore
Nobody left to run with anymore


I think Jimmy must have had the right idea
Packed his stuff and he got right out of here

I don't know where he's at but I'm sure that he's ok
Now I realize what Jimmy was trying to say

[Chorus]
Nobody left to run with anymore
Nobody wants to do the crazy things we used to do before
Nobody left to run with anymore

Nobody left to run with anymore
Nobody left to run with anymore

Gamerscore Whoring Scorecard (First Half)

I'll keep this updated throughout my month of trying to increase my gamerscore (a.k.a. whoring!) This scorecard will cover the first half of June.

Day With Most Achievements - June 13 (82 achievements)

Day With Most Points - June 13 (2,535 points)

June 1 - 6,070 points - Added: 110 points - To Goal: 19,890 points
MLB 2k9 (2 for 15)
NCAA March Madness 2008 (5 for 95)

June 2 - 6,585 points - Added: 115 points - To Goal: 19,375 points
NCAA March Madness 2008 (12 for 515)

June 3 - 6,625 points - Added: 40 points - To Goal: 19,335 points
Tetris Splash (4 for 40)

June 4 - 6, 650 points - Added: 50 points - To Goal: 19,285 points
Frogger (2 for 25)

June 5 - 6,980 points - Added: 330 points - To Goal: 18,955 points
MLB 2k8 (17 for 330)

June 6 - 8,205 points - Added: 1,225 points - To Goal: 17,730points
MLB 2k8 (5 for 140)
MLB 2k9 (5 for 85)
Madden 08 (48 for 1,000)

June 7 - 8,820 points - Added: 615 points - To Goal: 17,115 points
MLB 2k7 (16 for 615)

June 8 - 8,845 points - Added: 25 points - To Goal: 17,090 points
NCAA Basketball MME (1 for 25)

June 9 - 9,020 points - Added: 175 points - To Goal: 16,915 points
NCAA Basketball MME (3 for 175)

June 10 - 9,420 points - Added: 400 points - To Goal: 16,515 points
NCAA March Madness 08 (8 for 390)
Wolfenstein 3D (1 for 10)

June 11 - 9,470 points - Added: 50 points - To Goal: 16,465 points
Wolfenstein 3D (3 for 50)

June 12 - 9,485 points - Added: 15 points - To Goal: 16,450 points
Sonic the Hedgehog (2 for 15)

June 13 - 12,020 points - Added: 2,535 points - To Goal: 13,915 points
NBA 2k6 (5 for 1,000)
NBA 2k7 (40 for 820)
NBA 2k8 (37 for 715)

June 14 - 13,020 points - Added: 1,000 points - To Goal: 12,915 points
NBA Live 08 (26 for 1,000)

June 15 - 13,160 points - Added: 140 points - To Goal: 12,775 points
NCAA March Madness 07 (6 for 140)

Movie Mondays - Sex Drive Edition

"Sex Drive" is a funny road trip, romantic, buddy comedy. It is definitely worth a look. But why did I make it this week's entry? That's simple.

On the unrated version, the screenwriters warn you to watch the rated version first. And they are not joking. The unrated version is cut with green screen hotties, Photoshopped penises and blooper clips. It is definitely the version to get, but watch the rated version first. It's coherent. Coherent and funny.

When Is a Friend, No Longer a Friend?

What does a friend have to do to no longer be considered a friend? How many times must one invite a friend to do something and he declines before one no longer asks? How many lies must one be told before all trust is gone? How awkward do situations have to get until one stops being around the friend? How many times does a friend have to disappoint another before he no longer is a friend?

I'm guessing that if I'm asking the questions, I already know the answers.

Lyric Wednesdays - Tina Turner

This week's entry is in honor of my sister and her birthday. I asked her what her favorite song is and she said this Tina Turner classic off Tina's 1989 "Foreign Affair" album. It is fitting since she is the best sister in the world.

Kristy, you're "Simply The Best!"

I call you when I need you, my heart's on fire

You come to me, come to me wild and wired

Mmm, you come to me

Give me everything I need

Give me a lifetime of promises and a world of dreams

Speak a language of love like you know what it means

Mmm, it can't be wrong

Take my heart and make it strong, baby

You're simply the best, better than all the rest

Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met

I'm stuck on your heart, I hang on every word you say

Tear us apart no, no, baby, I would rather be dead

In your heart I see the star of every night and every day

In your eyes I get lost, I get washed away

Just as long as I'm here in your arms

I could be in no better place

You're simply the best, better than all the rest

Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met

I'm stuck on your heart, I hang on every word you say

Tear us apart no, no, baby, I would rather be dead

Each time you leave me I start losing control

You're walking away with my heart and my soul

I can feel you even when I'm alone

Oh baby, don't let go

Ooh you're the best (woo)

Better than all the rest

Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met

Ooh, I'm stuck on your heart

I hang on every word you say

Don't tear us apart no, no, no

Baby, I would rather be dead

Oooh, you're the best!

My Ode to "B"

I need to get something off my chest. I do not like "B." In fact, I despise her. I loathe her being.

And if you must know why, here goes...

She is a vulgar little maggot, a worthless bag of filth. She couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the instructions on the heel. She is a canker, a sore that won't go away.

She is degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing she exists. I despise everything about her. She is a bloody nard less twit protohominid chromosomally aberrant caricature of a coprophagic cloacal parasitic pond scum, and I wish she would go away.

She is a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. She is a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. She is a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Her life is a monument to stupidity. She is a stench, a revulsion, a putrefaction, a big suck on a sour lemon with a lime twist.

She is a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying her alleged birth into this world; an insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts that spawned her and then killed themselves in regret for what they had done.

I will never get over the utter feelings of debasement from belonging to the same species as “B.” She is a monster, an ogre, a malformation. I barf at the very thought of her. She has all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid her. She is vile, worthless, less than nothing. She is a weed, a fungus, a ferment, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention that she smells?

If she isn't an idiot, she is making a world-class effort at simulating one.

She is a snail-skulled little twit. Would that a hawk pick her up, drive its beak into her brain, and upon finding it rancid set her loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of her ignoble blood. May she choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of her own trite, foolish beliefs.

She is weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. She is grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. She is foul and disgusting. She is a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on her. Even sheep won't have sex with her. Her hand even refuses autoerotism. She is unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.

And yet she expects her delusional self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have meaning with us. She blindly fantasizes that her tiny-fisted tantrums have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake.

She is a waste of flesh. She has no rhythm. She is ridiculous and obnoxious. She is the moral equivalent of a leech. She is a living emptiness, a meaningless void. She is sour and senile. She is a disease; a puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meat slapper.

On a good day she’s a half-wit. She reminds me of drool. She is deficient in all that lends character. She has the personality of wallpaper. She is dank and filthy. She is asinine and benighted. She is the source of all unpleasantness. She spreads misery and sorrow wherever she goes.

I cannot believe how incredibly stupid she is. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid. So stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. She is trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularly stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on the warm side of Mercury stupid. She emits more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Her life must be blatant trolling, for nothing in our universe can really be that stupid. Perhaps she is some primordial fragment from the original Big Bang of Stupid; some pure essence of stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me.

If I traded “B” for shit, I would probably have to throw in a six-pack of warm Pabst Blue Ribbon just to make it an even deal.

Other than that, I have no problem with the girl.

Celebrating a Birthday at Miller Park

Happy Birthday, Kristy!

Movie Mondays - Fanboys Edition

After this shot, why would you not want to see "Fanboys?"

Lyric Wednesdays - Malvina Reynolds

In honor of the new season of "Weeds" beginning, this week's entry is it's wonderfully catchy theme song. "Weeds" is a great show that more people should watch. I think some people are scared away because of the obvious drug content, but the show is so much more than that.

The song was originally written and performed by Malvina Reynolds off her album "Ear To The Ground." However, I found it because of "Weeds." The producers have a different artist preform the song each week. (At least they did for the first two seasons.) The song was selected because the houses of Agrestic are all "Little Boxes."

Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes made of ticky tacky,
Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes all the same.
There's a green one and a pink one
And a blue one and a yellow one,
And they're all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.

And the people in the houses
All went to the university,
Where they were put in boxes
And they came out all the same,
And there's doctors and lawyers,
And business executives,
And they're all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.

And they all play on the golf course
And drink their martinis dry,
And they all have pretty children
And the children go to school,
And the children go to summer camp
And then to the university,
Where they are put in boxes
And they come out all the same.

And the boys go into business
And marry and raise a family
In boxes made of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.
There's a green one and a pink one
And a blue one and a yellow one,
And they're all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.

Customers Are "Special"

An actual call at work today...

"Thank you for calling ___. My name is Mark. How may I help you?"
"Yes. Thanks, Mike. I'm calling to get some account information."
"I can definitely help you with that. May I have your account number please?"
"My account number or card number?"

Seriously? First of all, my name is Mark. I speak extremely clearly. I've been called Clark already. Okay, maybe. It rhymes. But I've also been called Eric, Bob and other names. PLEASE LISTEN! My willingness to help you drops rapidly if you do not listen. Plus, if you do not listen to my name, what else will you not listen to?

Secondly, if I ask for your account number, I'm asking for the account number. The phrase "card number" never left my mouth. If I needed the card number, I would have said, "May I have your card number please?" It would be like going to McDonald's and asking for a Big Mac and the cashier asking you "Big Mac or Fillet 'o Fish?" If I wanted a fucking Fillet 'o Fish, I would have fucking asked for it.

Morons. The world is full of them. Unfortunately, most of them have phones and I am on the other line.

And So It Begins...

My month of gamerscore whoring has begun!

I started out today with Major League Baseball 2K9. I beat the Home Run derby to earn the King of the Hill achievement and a few moments later unlocked an achievement for earning all the trading cards.

It's going to be a long month. Long, but fun. Very, very fun!

Movie Mondays - Stick It Edition

"Stick It" has two things going for it that make it a must see. First, Jeff Bridges plays a major role. He was "The Dude." I'd watch him read the newspaper because he'd still be cooler than me. Second, Missy Peregrym. She's hot as hell! And since "Reaper" was canceled prematurely, I need my Missy fix.

"Stick It" is a good movie. After about 10 viewings, it has definitely cemented it's place on my "guilty pleasure" list. You should add it to yours!

The Gamerscore Whore That Is Me

My gamerscore started at 0. I raised it to 100,325. Then, it was back down to 0. Now, it is a paltry 5960.

Ever since those bastards in Redmond, Washington, reset my gamerscore to zero, I have not done much gamerscore whoring...until now.

Since I am a bit of an addict, I decided that I would whore for one month out of the year. This way, boosting will only monopolize my time for one month as opposed to all day, every day. That month is now upon me.

My primary goal for June is to get at least one achievement a day. My secondary goals are to raise my gamerscore by 20,000 points and earn 1,000 points in 10 games. (I'm also trying to break my personal best streak of gaming for 63 consecutive days on the 360. Entering June, I'm at 40 days so if I meet my primary goal, I will also meet my streak goal.)

And, oh yeah, no saves or SPGs. I'm going to do this legit. As legit as boosting is.

Me, My Dad and the Milwaukee Mile

The Legend Annoying

I fear things that cannot be killed like zombies and Brett Favre.

Please stay retired or die. Either works.

Me, My Dad and Miller Park

My New Camera!

I just got my new digital camera as shown above in the first picture I took with it. It is a black Kodak M1063. So far so good. Here are a few test shots I've snapped. The barn was zoomed in about 75%. The chair was an interior with flash. And my favorite is the panoramic that the camera stitches together from 3 separate photos I took.

Star Trek: The 2nd Time Around

I went to see “Star Trek” again tonight. Marcus Theatres was nice enough to add it to this week's list of Spotlight Movies. (If you're not signed up for their free, weekly newsletter, you can sign up HERE. The Spotlight movie coupon allows you to see a few selected flicks at any showing on Wednesdays or Thursdays for just $5.00. I see a lot of movies this way since I work ‘til 9 and the normal evening price in SheVegas is $9.00.)

After ripping on Jeff for not asking me to go when he saw “Star Trek,” I decided to call him and ask if he wanted to go. Of course, he did not answer. Oh well, I guess there are better things to do then hang out with a supposedly good friend and enjoy the Trek. (UPDATE: Jeff finally got back to me via text and said that he could not go because his Grandpa was in hospice care. I believe him, but due to some long standing trust and communication issues, I take everything he says with a grain of salt.)

The second viewing increased my love for this movie. Knowing what I now know, after Dan explained some things to me about the Trek universe, helped me understand more the second time through. I still enjoy the big explosions and quick-witted banter, but now I caught more intricacies that J.J. subtly slipped in. And the hot, green space poon!

And there is ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, 100% nothing wrong with some hot ass, green space poon!

If Cameron Was in Egypt's Land...

...he would buy this house! Serving as Cameron Frye's house in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," it was home to the memorable scene where Ferris drives the Ferrari through the garage. According to REALTOR.COM, it's going for a cool 2.3 million dollars. If I had that kind of ching, I would buy it in a heartbeat.

My TIVO Weeps For Thee!

Now that the networks have released the fall prime time TV schedules, it is time to mourn the loss of my favorite shows. In their infinite wisdom and foresight, the networks have axed five shows that were staples in my TIVO.


CBS canceled “The Unit.” A great military drama that provided my action fix while “Burn Notice” was on hiatus. Goodbye, Snake Doctor, Cool Breeze, Whiplash, Hammerhead, Dirt Diver, Betty Blue and the rest of the Unit crew.


ABC showed “Pushing Daisies” and “Dirty Sexy Money” the door. With those losses, I am down to “Scrubs” as the only show on ABC I watch. Wow, has the ABC network fallen. The one good thing that ABC is doing is showing the last 3 unaired episodes of “Pushing Daisies.” The episodes will air on Saturday nights starting May 29th.


NBC decided to prematurely kick “My Name is Earl” to the curb. However, there is hope! FOX and ABC are deciding whether or not to pick up “Earl.” From early indications, it looks as if “Earl” has a good chance at latching on with another network. The show is brilliant. I am befuddled that more people do not watch “Earl.” What is wrong with you?


Lastly, CW ended “Reaper's” run. “Reaper” was a highly underrated show that would have been huge hit if it was aired a major network. I'm most bummed about “Reaper” if “Earl” is not picked up, but I wish they all could have been saved. Sam, I hope you got out of your deal with the Devil. Thanks to CW, we'll never know!

I enjoyed the laughs, cries, screams, and other emotions each one of you have embraced me with.

I will miss you all!

Lyric Wednesdays - Lit

I picked this week's entry because of my Memorial Day TRADITION of drinking in excess. There are three reasons I remember and still enjoy Lit's 1999 hit off their album, “ A Place in the Sun.”

The first reason is that my old roommate's band, Left of Reason, covers it. Whenever they cover a song it makes me fall in love with it again. Plus, everyone knows the song so it goes over well at live gigs.

The second is that it was added to the Rock Band 2 set list – only my favorite party game of all-time. It is easy to play on hard and expert, but still fun on easy and medium. Plus, it is one of the few Rock Band songs that I do not have to read the lyrics when I’m the vocalist in The Toilet Paper Cardboard Tubes, which is my digital band’s name.

The third is my favorite reason. There is a line in the song “My car is the front yard” that is applicable because it actually happened to me. There was a party for Home Depot employees at Maple Lanes. I think it was a going away party, but I cannot remember exactly. Let’s just say that I had a wee bit too much to drink. Unfortunately, I was not smart enough or mature enough to call for a ride. When I woke up in the morning, my dad asked me if I had a good night. I said yes, and then asked why. He said “Because you parked your truck in the middle of the lawn.” I went outside, and sure enough, there it was. I parked the Marklennium Falcon on the grass between the shop and the house. Oops. I might have been too drunk to drive.

I definitely was “My Own Worst Enemy.”

Can we forget about the things I said when I was drunk?
I didn't mean to call you that.
I can't remember what was said or what you threw at me

Please tell me,Please tell me why?
My car is in the front yard
And I'm sleeping with my clothes on
I came in through the window last night
And you're gone gone

It's no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy,
Cuz every now and then I kick the living shit out of me
The smoke alarm is going off when there's a cigarette
Still burning

Please tell me why
My car is in the front yard
And I'm sleeping with my clothes on
I came in through the window last night
And you're gone gone

Please tell me why
My car is in the front yard
And I'm sleeping with my clothes on
I came in through the window last night

It's no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy
Cuz every now and then I kick the living shit out of me
Can we forget about the the things I said when I was drunk
I didn't mean to call you that

Movie Mondays - Star Trek

I hated everything Star Trek. The TV series looked cheap. The movies looked boring. And the fans, well, to be nice, they were “special.”

That all changed when J.J. Abrams signed on to direct the new “Star Trek” movie. The previews made the movie look awesome! So when Matt and Dan came up for the Memorial Day BONFIRE, we decided to head to the theater. It was a good decision.

“Star Trek” was funny and touching. There were huge space explosions and intimate scenes with just Spock and Kirk. It had everything that makes a movie great plus some hot, green space poon, which is never bad. As soon as we got out of the theater, Matt asked Dan and I, “Was it just me or was that green chick in her panties hot?” No, Matt, it was not just you.

Also, as a newcomer to the “Star Trek” world, the movie does include some nods to the TV series, but it pretty much starts over. Dan is a Trekkie so it was nice to have him afterwards to fill in the blanks. J.J. crafted a “Star Trek” movie that requires little knowledge of the previous Trek lore, but is still Trek enough to satisfy the vast amount of Trekkies. Sequels are a given and after experiencing this movie, I'm excited for them. Plus, I enjoyed the movie so much that I am seriously considering going back to watch the TV series and movies. “Star Trek” was an all-around hit for the producers, creators, and J.J.

I definitely recommend seeing “Star Trek” in the theater because there are quite a few special effects and some will be lost during the transition to the small screen. In fact, I plan on seeing it again if Marcus Theatres puts “Star Trek” on their Spotlight Movies list. Plus, I'll be first in line for the DVD special edition.

Oh my God, I think I'm becoming a Trekkie.

Somewhere a pig is flying.

Memorial Day Party 2009

Memorial Day 2009 can be described in one word - interesting.

Lyric Wednesdays - Len

This week's entry is a good song, but what makes it great is that it is FUN!

There are two main reasons this song is one of my favorites. The first is the talking interludes before and in the middle. When this song came out, I just happened to be crushing on a girl named Karen. Plus, they talk about Mark. That's me! (I know, I know. I'm a fucking geek.)

The other reason is the repeated playings while moving Doug down to Georgia. Days before Jeff and I left to move Doug and Linnea down to Georgia, my truck was broken into and my stereo was stolen. I did not have time to replace it so Jeff and I had no tunes on the way down. However, on the way back Jeff and I decided to do the trip in one day. The time was something like 20 hours or so. When we got to Tennessee, (I remember only because the Wal-Mart was overrun by orange Volunteer gear.) we decided to buy a Walkman, speakers and CDs. Since I was the only one with money, I could only afford one CD. So I bought Len's "You Can't Stop the Bum Rush." I don't even want to know how many times we listened to it. The song never got old though! Plus, by the time we arrived home, Jeff and I knew EVERY word to the song!

So here's Len's one-hit wonder, "Steal My Sunshine" off their 1999 album, You Can't Stop the Bum Rush...

Hey, Matt?
Yeah, Tim?
Hey, have you talked to Mark lately?
Uhh, I haven't really talked to him but he looks pretty, uh, down.
Ha ha ha, he looks pretty, uh, down.
Yeah, well, maybe we should cheer him up then.
What do you, uh, suppose we should do?
Well, does he like butter tarts?

I was lying on the grass on Sunday morning of last week
Indulging in myself defeat
My mind was thugged all laced and bugged all twisted wrong and beat
A comfortable three feet deep
Now the fuzzy stare from not being there on a confusing morning weak
Impaired my tribal lunar speak
And of course you can't become if you only say what you would have done
So I missed a million miles of fun

I know it's up for me
If you steal my sunshine
Making sure I'm not in too deep
If you steal my sunshine
Keeping versed and on my feet
If you steal my sunshine

Check, c'mere c'mere, c'mere
Wow, look at her.
I know.
I've never seen Sharon look so bad before.
I did once before, but this is pretty bad.
Yeah, what do you think she got up to last night?
Ha ha ha
Well . . . I . . .
KAREN! I LOVE YOU!

I was lying on the bench slide in the park across the street
L-A-T-E-R that week
My sticky paws were in to making straws out of big fat slurpy treats
An incredible eight foot heap
Now the funny glare to pay a gleaming tare in a staring under heat
Involved an under usual feet
And I'm not only among but I invite who I want to come
So I missed a million miles of fun

I know it's up for me
If you steal my sunshine
Making sure I'm not in too deep
If you steal my sunshine
Keeping versed and on my feet
If you steal my sunshine

I know it's done for me
If you steal my sunshine
Not as some and hard to see
If you steal my sunshine
Keeping dumb and built to beat
If you steal my sunshine

My Sunshine
If you steal my sunshine

Rules For Catching Home Runs at Miller Park

After Mat Gamel hit his first Major League home run last night, someone on a Brewers blog rekindled the Happy Youngster debate. (Click HERE.) I think the time has come for some stadium justice regarding catching home run and foul baseballs. If you break the rules, you get a back room beat down by the biggest, drunkest fans in your section.

What are the rules? The rules are open for debate, but here are my ideas...

1. The first home run ball you catch, you can keep or trade. Do not ask for too much since a signed ball or bat and a photo is plenty. Do not ask for something from another player. It is humiliating to the player that hit the ball.

2. If it is not the first home run ball you caught, give it to youngest kid sitting around you. You already have one so give someone else the memory. Plus, karma will be on your side.

3. If you catch a milestone ball that breaks an all-time record, like the home run or hits record, then all bets are off. Sell it for big money, trade it for signed goods, keep it and put it on your bedroom shelf, or give it to the Hall of Fame. Whatever you want to do is fine. A ball like that could set you up financially for life. No one should decide that except for you. Beware of the consequences and backlash towards your decision though.

4. If you shove, push or bully someone that is smaller than you to get a HOME RUN ball, do not return to Miller Park. The Brewers do not need you as a fan anymore.

5. If you shove, push or bully someone that is smaller than you to catch a FOUL ball, please jerk your car into a bridge embankment on your way home. The world does not need you as a person anymore.

Any other suggestions?

Mr. 2000!

Congratulations, Jason Kendall!

The Hall will be calling one day.

I cannot wait for June 29th. I am getting my Jason Kendall bobblehead doll.

Who's coming with me!

Another One Bites the Dust

I was playing Battlefield: Bad Company on Saturday with Matt. We were on the same squad until my internet starting acting up and booted me offline. Once I signed back in, I tried to join Matt's squad, but it put me on the other team. He was attacking and knowing Matt's run 'n' gun style, I waited for him to get to the crate. I was sitting in the brush as a sniper, throwing motion sensors. As soon as I saw his name pop up, I knifed him and got his tags.

After what I did to Murda HERE, I had to be fair and also post this pic. Enjoy! And Matt...GOTCHA BITCH!

Movie Mondays - Revenge of the Nerds Edition

This week's edition of Movie Mondays is the classic 1980's comedy "Revenge of the Nerds." I remember watching the movie on television and recording it to VHS. Since it is rated "R," all the "good" parts were cut from the movie. I searched and searched for a licensed copy on VHS for years. In the first 20 years it was out, I saw the movie, conservatively, 50 times. About 5 years ago, I finally bought a DVD copy on eBay. It was the first time I ever saw the movie in it's entirely. I was pissed too because I then realized that I could have "thoroughly enjoyed" those missing scenes during my adolescent years.

Over the years, the movie has held up. It's still as funny today as it was in the eighties. And just as relevant. Just the other day at work, some co-workers and I were talking about the scene with Takashi pedaling around the track. And we all knew what he screamed when asked how he is doing. Also, judging by the recent "Family Guy" skit where Peter wins a talent contest by executing the same song and dance as the Nerds do, I'm guessing my co-workers and I were not the only Nerds that the movie resonated with.

So how good is this movie?

Good enough to fuck your mother!

Free Album From Coldplay

I am an unabashed Coldplay fan. And I have gotten a lot of shit for it too. (Thank you "40 Year Old Virgin.") Their music got me through some tough times. So if you are a fan like me, I have some great news! Coldplay is releasing a live album for FREE! The album titled "Left Right Left Right Left" was recorded during their Viva La Vida tour.

If you're able to go to their new tour this summer, you will get a free copy. For the rest of us, who cannot afford tickets or do not want the tickets we can afford, Coldplay is letting fans download it for free.

To download the album go HERE or HERE.

The song list includes:
Glass of Water
42
Clocks
Strawberry Swing
The Hardest Part/Postcards From Far Away
Viva La Vida
Death Will Never Conquer
Fix You
Death And All His Friends

Thank you, Coldplay. You have always been good to your fans!

Chris Coghlan Versus The World's Biggest Douche Bag Fan

I could NOT let this story pass without putting my 2 cents in.

If you do not know the back story, Chris Coghlan, a rookie infielder for the Florida Marlins, hit his first Major League home run. A fan, Nick Yohanek, who calls himself the Happy Youngster, caught the ball. Those are the only facts known. The rest is a classic he said, he said story.

The Happy Douchebag says that he only asked for a bat signed by team superstar Hanley Ramirez, a bat signed by Coghlan, and tickets to the Florida-Brewers series in Miami. (By the way, if someone can afford to take a road trip to Miami to see the game, that person can afford the $10 ticket into the stadium. That stadium is so empty, one could buy the cheapest ticket and move to the front row, behind home plate.)

Chris and the Florida Marlins' team representatives say the fan demanded an autographed bat by Ramirez, an autographed baseball by Ramirez, an autographed baseball by Coghlan, a personalized Coghlan bat, a photo with Coughlan, and tickets to the Yankees - Marlins series in Miami. The funniest part was he also wanted his photograph taken with Coghlan, whose name the Happy Douchebag mispronounced even though he pretended to be a fan by wearing a Marlins cap.

The parties settled on the photo, an autographed ball and one of Coghlan's signed bats. Plus, it turns out that when Coghlan gave him the items he would not give Coghlan the ball. It wasn't until Coghlan begged and pleaded that the Happy Douchebag relented and gave up the ball.

I usually side with fans, but then I read this BLOG by Tom Haudricourt. Haudricourt is a respected journalist and covers the Brewers for the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. Tom recalled when the Happy Douchebag caught Geoff Jenkins' 200th home run ball and held it for ransom. The fan requested a bat signed by Prince Fielder among many other things.

How disheartening is that to Chris and Geoff who hit the home runs? I caught your ball, but you're not enough of a superstar to want anything signed by you, so go get your all-star teammate's autograph for me. Classy.

Attention Chris Coghlan...As a Brewers fan, I apologize. As a baseball fan, I apologize. As a man who grew up playing little league and dreaming of hitting a home run in the majors, I apologize. I can only hope that this incident will not taint your view of Milwaukee. We are great fans of baseball.

Attention "Happy Youngster"...Go fuck yourself, douche bag. You are an embarrassment to fans everywhere. You are an embarrassment to the Brewers and the city of Milwaukee. Please turn in your Brewers gear and stay home. If you need a team to cheer for, I hear that the Cubs accept douche bags on their bandwagon.

Random Thoughts After Another Crappy Work Week

I had an interesting week of work. It was generally slow, but the customers still had some "interesting" questions. This was an actual conversation I had with an account holder...

"What is your account number?"
"I don't have it."
"I'm sorry, but I cannot change your address without your account number."
"I have the account number. Why didn't you just say that?"

Are you fucking kidding me? And that was one of the mellower conversations. I guess it takes all kinds. But why do I have to get the crazy ones?...

I was annoyed that the Brewers game was rained out tonight. I was hoping to catch the last few innings. It is a BIG series against the Cardinals this weekend. I know it's early, but first place is on the line. I still get to watch Saturday and Sunday though, if the rain stays away...

I was surprised that the Brewers brought up Mat Gamel already. Was it necessary to dump Brad Nelson? Yes, especially after starting 0-21 at the plate with 9 strikeouts. He seemed like a nice guy and I wish him the best. However, all the "experts" said that the reason Nelson, McGehee, and Duffy struggled as pinch hitters was because they're young and need consistent at bats. So how will sporadic playing time affect Gamel? General Manger Doug Melvin is usually right, but I question this move. Maybe Gamel is just keeping the bench warm until Catalanotto is ready. One can hope...

Question: What do you get when you cross X-Men Origins: Wolverine and the Marcus Theaters gift card that is burning a hole in my pocket? Answer: Sunday...

Awhile back, I wrote a post about my investment in AIG. My wish almost came true. AIG hit $2.00, but I did not have the balls to pull the trigger and sell. If I would have sold at $2 and bought back in at $1.65 three days later, I could have pocketed an extra $644. Now that AIG has climbed back up, I'd either have that $644 in my pocket or 390 more shares. FUCK! The stock market is a malicious bitch, isn't it?...

Well, that's all folks. Time to watch the season finale of Numb3rs.

The Best Baked Chicken Ever!

If you like baked chicken, you MUST try Schwan's Roasted Chicken Breast Halves. It is the best baked chicken I have ever tasted! And I have tried plenty. It is only available through Schwan's. You can order it online HERE. If you have eaten Schwan's products before you know the food tastes great. Somethings are a bit pricier than supermarket prices, but aren't the finer things in life worth it? The best thing is, the Schwan's delivery truck will drop it off right at your door. Please try it. Your taste buds will thank you!

Lyric Wednesdays - Ice Cube

Some days work just flat out sucks. Nothing seems to be going right. Everyone is against you and everything goes wrong. For those days, which for me, today was one of those, you need a pick me up. My solution? A song off Ice Cube's 1992 album, The Predator. Pop in this song and cruise to Ice Cube's classic. This song will illicit memories of when "It was a Good Day."

Just waking up in the morning gotta thank god
I dont know but today seems kinda odd
No barking from the dogs, no smog
And momma cooked a breakfast with no hog
I got my grub on, but didnt pig out
Finally got a call from a girl wanna dig out
Hooked it up on later as I hit the do
Thinking will I live, another twenty-fo
I gotta go cause I got me a drop top
And if I hit the switch, I can make the ass drop
Had to stop at a red light
Looking in my mirror not a jacker in sight
And everything is alright
I got a beep from kim and she can fuck all night
Called up the homies and I'm askin' y'all
Which court, are y'all playin' basketball?
Get me on the court and I'm trouble
Last week fucked around and got a triple double
Freaking brothers everyway like m.j.
I cant believe, today was a good day

Drove to the pad and hit the showers
Didn't even get no static from the cowards
Cause just yesterday them fools tried to blast me
Saw the police and they rolled right past me
No flexin', didn't even look in a niggaz direction
As I ran the intersection
Went to $hort dogs house, they was watchin' Yo! MTV Raps
Whats the haps on the craps
Shake em up, shake em up, shake em up, shake em
Roll em in a circle of niggaz and watch me break em
With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven
Seven even back do joe
I picked up the cash flow
Then we played bones, and I'm yellin' domino
And now I am yelling dominoes
Plus nobody I know got killed in south central l.a.
Today was a good day

Left my niggaz house paid
Picked up a girl been tryin' to fuck since the twelve grade
Its ironic, I had the brew she had the chronic
The Lakers beat the Supersonics
I felt on the big fat fanny
Pulled out the jammy, and killed the punanny
And my dick runs deep so deep so deep
Put her ass to sleep
Woke her up around one
She didn't hesitate, to call ice cube the top gun
Drove her to the pad and I'm coasting
Took another sip of the potion hit the three-wheel motion
I was glad everything had worked out
Dropped her ass off, then I chirped out
Today was like one of those fly dreams
Didn't even see a berry flashing those high beams
No helicopter looking for a murder
Two in the morning got the fat burger
Even saw the lights of the Goodyear blimp
And it read ice cubes a pimp
Drunk as hell but no throwing up
Half way home and my pager still blowing up
Today I didn't even have to use my A.K.
I got to say it was a good day.

Hey wait, wait a minute fool
Stop the shit
What the fuck am I thinking about?