Friday, May 15, 2009

Chris Coghlan Versus The World's Biggest Douche Bag Fan

I could NOT let this story pass without putting my 2 cents in.

If you do not know the back story, Chris Coghlan, a rookie infielder for the Florida Marlins, hit his first Major League home run. A fan, Nick Yohanek, who calls himself the Happy Youngster, caught the ball. Those are the only facts known. The rest is a classic he said, he said story.

The Happy Douchebag says that he only asked for a bat signed by team superstar Hanley Ramirez, a bat signed by Coghlan, and tickets to the Florida-Brewers series in Miami. (By the way, if someone can afford to take a road trip to Miami to see the game, that person can afford the $10 ticket into the stadium. That stadium is so empty, one could buy the cheapest ticket and move to the front row, behind home plate.)

Chris and the Florida Marlins' team representatives say the fan demanded an autographed bat by Ramirez, an autographed baseball by Ramirez, an autographed baseball by Coghlan, a personalized Coghlan bat, a photo with Coughlan, and tickets to the Yankees - Marlins series in Miami. The funniest part was he also wanted his photograph taken with Coghlan, whose name the Happy Douchebag mispronounced even though he pretended to be a fan by wearing a Marlins cap.

The parties settled on the photo, an autographed ball and one of Coghlan's signed bats. Plus, it turns out that when Coghlan gave him the items he would not give Coghlan the ball. It wasn't until Coghlan begged and pleaded that the Happy Douchebag relented and gave up the ball.

I usually side with fans, but then I read this BLOG by Tom Haudricourt. Haudricourt is a respected journalist and covers the Brewers for the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. Tom recalled when the Happy Douchebag caught Geoff Jenkins' 200th home run ball and held it for ransom. The fan requested a bat signed by Prince Fielder among many other things.

How disheartening is that to Chris and Geoff who hit the home runs? I caught your ball, but you're not enough of a superstar to want anything signed by you, so go get your all-star teammate's autograph for me. Classy.

Attention Chris Coghlan...As a Brewers fan, I apologize. As a baseball fan, I apologize. As a man who grew up playing little league and dreaming of hitting a home run in the majors, I apologize. I can only hope that this incident will not taint your view of Milwaukee. We are great fans of baseball.

Attention "Happy Youngster"...Go fuck yourself, douche bag. You are an embarrassment to fans everywhere. You are an embarrassment to the Brewers and the city of Milwaukee. Please turn in your Brewers gear and stay home. If you need a team to cheer for, I hear that the Cubs accept douche bags on their bandwagon.

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