I had one of those days today. The soul crushing, smack you in the face, kick your ass while you're down kind of day. And there was no reason for it. Turns out every place and I mean EVERY place, is just like high school.
I won't go into specifics because there are spies among the Facebook faithful. I'm not usually a conspiracist, but there are too many coincidences to be random. So here goes...
It started with someone who was a certain way and did things. Others helped and eventually the knife had to be removed from their backs. Other people did not like other things said. Some did not comprehend things. Things were said. Things were done. Parties were partaken in. Rumors swirled. Truths swirled. People broke trusts. Friends were made. Friends were lost. God times were had. Bad times consumed the lot. Things were moved up the chain. Basically, things were done by people at times and places. Everything culminated in the group being broken up. I sense there is a Yoko at work. When the dust cleared, myself and one other person had a new cubicle.
The bitch of it all is that I tried to be friends with everyone. I was inclusive. I was compassionate. I was the defender of wrongs. I was trusting. And that was my downfall. Like many in history, I was befallen by one close to me. Or so I thought was close.
Nothing against my new cubicle buddies, but they're just not my friends...yet. I hate change. Absolutely despise it. I'll miss the loud mouth cunt. The guy who incessantly talks about online poker. I'll even miss the emotional one.
I try to stay positive and have a smile on my face. But it's hard when I realize I'm a nobody. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. "Keep your head up, Mark." I heard this many times today. How about you go fuck yourself and let me sulk for awhile. Is that okay with you, your highness? I suppose in the grand scheme of everything, it could be worse. At my last job, there was a worker who could only be classified as an self-absorbed, alcoholic loner with an unjustified ego that rivaled only the likes of Hitler. At least I'm not a piece of shit that people look upon with contempt and unbridled hate.
So I have that going for me. Which is nice.
But I feel alone on my island surrounded by a sea of estrogen.
And that makes me blue. But at the same time, red. Red burning with a furious rage. A rage that can only lead to 2 things - an outburst of Titanic proportions or an updated resume that will help me move onto the next chapter that is Mark.
To those I'll miss, and you know who you are, I say, "Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget."
No comments:
Post a Comment